March 2, 2010

Day Two of Unemployment.

Lucky is still at Crazy's room when Nikolas comes in. She tells Nikolas that she's taking the paternity test. Nik is OK with it. Lucky isn't.

Ethan fakes being offended by Jason's accusation that he and Johnny had something to do with the warehouse shooting. Jason knows that Johnny understands the risks but doesn't think Ethan does.

Dante is still on the fake stand. Claire is hostile; Dante is defensive. Neither will admit it. Claire warns him not to lie on the stand and Dante asks her why she doesn't just take him off the witness list if she's so worried. ...Which, of course, would make Dante's life a hell of a lot easier.

Jax tells Carly and Sonny that perjury is a major charge. Sonny and Carly think this is all Jax's fault. Because Jax made Sonny what he is today. Everything is Jax's fault! The ozone? Jax's fault too.

Credits: They love that 'Luke walking away' thing.

Crazy assures Lucky that the baby will be fine but Lucky is just concerned about Elizabeth's state of mind. Nikolas relents (wow, someone changed their mind!) and says he doesn't mind waiting too. Crazy says that her state of mind will be better if she knows who the father is.

Ethan continues to deny his involvement and Jason pretty much just ignores him. It's kinda funny, actually. He gets in Johnny's face telling him that he involved Ethan because he knows Sonny wouldn't harm Luke's son. Jason warns Johnny that if this escalates, Luke's connections won't save either of them. Then Johnny says something that I don't quite get but I'm sure will be explained later: "If you don't want to kill me, Jason, then don't."

Back at Jake's, Lisa is taking the "up and over" shot. Robin considers leaving but doesn't. Lisa is proud of her "up and over". Patrick finally sees Robin but not before Lisa has drunkenly fallen into Patrick's arms.

Claire is surprised that Dante would suggest she cut him from the case. He says he's just giving her an out. She says she's not going to let him waste everything he's worked for. Again, he suggest she let him go. Lulu walks in to hear her say that she might have to call Dante in as a hostile witness. Lulu tells Claire that Dante is on her side.

Carly cliches that she'll do anything to keep her baby daddy out of prison. Jax has heard it all before but is still surprised that she'll commit perjury to protect him. Jax just looks exhausted that he even has to explain all this but he tells her that he thought she finally came to her senses when Michael was in his coma. Carly says that Michael is fine now. Jax and I both say he's not. Carly says that Jax risked Michael's freedom to get revenge on Sonny but he says all he did was cooperate with the authorities. Sonny cuts in to call Jax a coward. Sonny says it's all about him which he believes because everything is about Sonny. Jax says it's about keeping his family safe. Sonny brings up Dante and says he risked Michael. Jax says that Sonny was the one who covered up Michael's crime and that's the secret that's going to hurt him. Sonny finally shows his true colors by telling Jax that the only reason he's still alive is because he's married to Carly. He asks Carly when she's going to dump Jax so he can "take care of all of this". That scene was exhausting. It took everything I could not to throw my Coke Zero at the TV.

I'm so glad this is the last season of Lost.

Jason seems genuinely concerned for Johnny and that he's "asking Sonny to retaliate." Johnny says that Sonny has to pay for Claudia's death. Jason says that Sonny is paying by being on trial. Since Johnny actually watches this show, he knows that Sonny will never go to prison. He asks Jason if he wouldn't do the same thing if Sonny had killed Carly. Jason just tells him to back off and leaves. Johnny tells Ethan that this is going to get bad and if he wants to bail, to do it now. Ethan is still acting like this whole thing is a big joke and denies agreeing to do anything in the first place.

Chez Davis: Molly has stolen the phone that Kiefer gave Kristina from her sock drawer. She informs Kristina that there are "a million" messages from her boyfriend. Kristina says she's tell Alexis that Molly was snooping. Molly says that Alexis is the one that keeps putting her socks in Kristina's drawer and that it's a sub-conscious way to get Molly to snoop on Kristina for her. That all would be funny except, Alexis does laundry? Kristina chases Molly around the living room and finally gets her phone back. Molly wants to know why she's not answering Keifer when some of his texts are "really romantic." Didn't Molly see Keifer's true colors when he threw that glass down in anger? Kristina says she just needs time away from Keifer. Molly still wonders why Kristina is "breaking [Keifer's] heart."

Patrick kisses Robin hello. He tries to play off Lisa's silliness. Robin doesn't want him to think she's checking up on him but he says he knows. He says he was about to text her because he wanted to talk to her about what happened at the hospital. Meanwhile, Lisa chats with Coleman but is soon distracted by Robin and Patrick. She asks Coleman if he agrees that when Robin comes by, Patrick gets all "dull and domesticated".

Lulu tells Claire that everyone in Port Charles has an agenda when it comes to Sonny except for Dante and that he's the only one that will tell the truth. Except he didn't. Claire asks Lulu what she thinks. Lulu cliches that she just wants justice. Claire snarks that with that she'll put Lulu on the stand. She tells Dante not to disappoint her and leaves. They both think that if anyone will take down Sonny, it will be Claire. Dante is feeling better, so Lulu wants to put him on the stand for some questions!

Jax tells Sonny not to threaten him. Carly remarkably agrees with Jax. Sonny, again, says it's all about him. They argue about Dante and truth and lies until Sonny finally kicks Jax out. Before Jax leaves, he tells Carly that if Sonny isn't stopped, he'll destroy everything and Carly defending him after everything he did, proves Jax was right to cooperate with the police.

Ethan and Johnny discuss their potential partnership. Ethan says it pretty much depends on the cash he'll get. Johnny proposes a 50/50 cut. Ethan thinks there's a catch but Johnny says he's not in it for the money. Johnny admits that a big reason he's asking Ethan to do this is because he's Luke's son. Ethan isn't ready to say 'Yes' yet and Johnny tells him to think it over. After he leaves, Luke walks in and it looks like he's been listening in. He tells Ethan it's probably too good to be true.

Kristina tells Molly that it's complicated between her and Keifer. Molly quotes one of her favorite poets by saying "love can heal the pain." Kristina, "Sometimes it just hurts" and Molly doesn't realize that Kristina is probably no longer talking in metaphors. Her bruise can attest to that. Oh gosh - Molly reads out some of Keifer's texts. She deems them 'passionate', but they're all just really stalkery and creepy. I.E., "Where are you, K? I thought I mattered to you" and "You need me, don't try to deny it". After all that, Keifer comes to the door. Molly answers it and calls Kristina to the door. Keifer missed her but Kristina tells him she's been busy. He tries to come in but she tells him it's late. She tries to get him to leave but Molly interferes. Kristina finally relents and says they can talk outside. Keifer: "I don't understand, I thought we loved each other."

Robin and Patrick discuss Sonny and Stone. Robin basically feels indebted to Sonny which Patrick understands but he's worried that Sonny has become a lot more ruthless. Patrick knows that all the experiences with Sonny and Stone made Robin who she is today and "wouldn't have it any other way."

Mock court! Lulu makes Dante swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! She asks him how he felt about the judge's decision. He says he wouldn't question a judge. The lame answer buzzer goes off. She asks him if he's worried about testifying. Dante, "It's my job". *LAMEbuzzLAME*. She asks him if he'll blame himself if Sonny gets convicted. He pleads the fifth. *LAMEbuzzLAME*. She asks if he's ever been in love. He objects and she finds him in contempt and it's all cute because they're using all the legal jargon. He says he's been in love once. He means her but she doesn't know that but slowly figures it out. And they're all flirty and coy and they kiss and puppy's sing.

Keifer can't sleep or eat when they're not together! Kristina says she just wants to be alone sometimes. And he basically recites the stalker/abusive boyfriend anthem and she's uncomfortable and so am I. And then the disgusting gets worse with "damn if I lose you because I loved you too much." And I really want to vomit. He goes on and on and it's gross and she falls for it which is grosser.

Claire and Jax meet at the metro-court. Jax hates that Sonny is free but Claire is excited because it gives her adrenaline to beat this case. She tells Jax she'll figure out Dante but is worried about Carly. She wonders if Carly will be a good witness and right on cue, Carly enters. Carly: "You're the prosecutor." Claire: "You're the wife. And... ex-wife". Hee. Love this chick. Claire talks about Josselyn and how amazing the circumstances were to which she was born. Carly asks to speak to Jax alone. Claire complies. Carly tells an employee to clear everyone off the floor for a "private party".

Dante and Lulu arrive at Dante's room over Kelly's. He's worried about his mother and his new father and the hole in his chest and that everything has changed. Lulu comforts him.

Dante and Lulu make out but she stops him. She's worried about "over-doing it". Or just doing it? She's worried that he'll have a heart attack. He says, "I'll have a heart attack if we don't do it." Hey! That's how I get laid too! They decide to take it slow but continue kissing.

Crazy comes back from seeing Lainey. She tells Nikolas and Lucky that she's decided to do the paternity test because she can't take the stress of not knowing. She needs a DNA sample from each of them.

Jason comes to see Luke. He tells Luke that Johnny has decided to take on Sonny and Luke should know about it because Johnny is getting Ethan involved. He warns Luke that it will escalate and wants him to get Ethan out of the way.

Michael meets Sonny at his house. Sonny tells him that everything went well and Dante helped.

Jax is worried that Carly is going to get all Mr. and Mrs. Smith but they end up just making out. It's a bit rough and I approve.

Outside Elizabeth's room, Nik wants to talk but Lucky would rather not. He can't "stand the site of [him]" but he knows he can't cut him out of his life because of their ties. They leave and Helena goes into Elizabeth's room. She's sleeping but Helena is excited about the paternity test. I have a feeling it will come up on the side of Cassadine.

Dante is naked and ready in bed while Lulu does girly things like light candles. She's nervous that this is the first time they'll get together. God, that's a lot of pressure. By the time she takes her dress off, Dante has fallen asleep. Probably faking it at this point.

Sonny gives Michael a pep talk about how much he loves his kids. Where's that lame button?

Jax and Carly are done with the sex. He hopes that one day she'll stop defending Sonny. Carly still doesn't get it. The sex, to her, was just showing Jax what he'll be missing. She wants Jax to decide if it's worth losing.

-end