March 11, 2010

Dante comes to visit Carly at the metro court. He wants to know where Michael is. She lies and says she doesn't know.

Max and Milo are having fun on the island playing shuffleboard. Michael isn't having fun. He feels like he's in prison.

Sonny visits Alexis at his office. She, too, wants to know where Michael is and what Sonny is trying to hide.

Credits

Patrick and Lisa are cliched in the elevator. Patrick thinks Lisa did it on purpose. She insists that she didn't and what happened in the locker room was just her changing clothes. Patrick wants her to know that nothing is going to happen between them. She claims she's moved on.

Ethan is dressed like he's in a 1970's John Travolta movie. Luke approves. Tracy is giddy because they're no longer in debt. Ethan tells Tracy about his date tonight with Jennifer.

Kristina whores it up while Molly admires her. She actually looks kinda pretty, but still very young. She tells Molly she's not going to the frat party. She wants Molly to hack into Ethan and Jennifer's e-mail accounts sending a message to each of them that the other cancelled.

Alexis thinks Michael saw what happened. Sonny says he didn't. Alexis wants to know the truth and Sonny lies that he's already given it to her. He gets all haughty about his money saying he's paying her to convince the jury of "the truth" and if she can't do that, to get off the case.

Carly and Dante argue about Claudia, Sonny, Michael and Morgan. She compares him to Sonny. They both want to help Michael but have different ideas about how that should be done. Oh no she didn't: Now, Carly is actually blaming Dante for her split with Jax. She and Sonny really are kindred spirits. I....I have no words.

Maxie is still in the hospital and Robin is very worried about her. Maxie claims she feels fine and wants to return to work. Robin tells her that she needs to be monitored for 24 hours. Mac comes in wondering how Maxie ended up in a sewer. She's a little pissed at Robin, who makes no apologies for calling Mac, and tells Mac that she's fine.

Outside the hospital curtain, Spinelli admits his plan was "terrible". I can think of some better words for it. He continues to whine about Maxie not seeing him as a hero. Johnny is unbelievably sympathetic telling him that Maxie is madly in love with him and he needs to get out of his own way.

Tracy doesn't approve of Ethan's date. Luke defends her. Ethan insists they're just going clubbing. Tracy wonders why, with all the beautiful women that come into the casino, he has to choose one with mob connections. Luke: "Wiring." Ethan gets a phone call and takes it in the other room. Tracy wants to know what's with his kids and mob connections. Again Luke answers, "wiring". Ethan comes back to say Jennifer has to work. Luke has to go to Vegas. Tracy wants to come but he wants her to stay to look after the Haunted Star and make sure Ethan doesn't burn it down.

Completing her plan, Kristina calls Keifer to let him know she can't make the frat party. Molly tells Kristina that she took care of the e-mails, but she doesn't understand why Ethan doesn't just ask Kristina out if he likes her. She says they have to be discreet for now. She asks Molly for another favor. She wants Molly to tell Alexis that she went out with Keifer. They discuss the pros and cons of Ethan and Keifer and somehow Twilight makes it into the conversation which makes me cringe.

Alexis talks about the importance of why Sonny killed Claudia and that he doesn't approve of violence against women for Kristina's sake even though she thinks he didn't kill Claudia for the reasons he says.

Carly tries to guilt Dante about sending his father in prison. He thinks the police will find Michael no matter what and asks Carly if she really wants her son being brought back in police custody. Claire comes in and asks Dante if he's had luck finding Michael. Carly wants Claire to talk directly to her since she's Michael's mother but Claire says that Michael is an adult in the eyes of the law. Dante tells Claire they can convict Sonny without Michael's testimony. No, they can't. Carly leaves them to talk. Dante tries to argue that MIchael will be a disaster on the stand. Claire thinks he's just protecting his family. Carly watches from the side lines with her smushy smug little face.

Epiphany takes blood from Maxie and rushes to get it tested. Maxie insists that she's fine. Robin goes off to put a double rush on the tests after telling Mac not too worry. Spinelli comes in and Mac isn't happy to see him. Maxie yells at them not to yell. Spinelli admits that he's responsible for all of it.

Lisa philosophizes about the universe. Lisa is hot, so she takes her undershirt off which reminds Patrick of spring break.

Milo wins the shuffleboard game! Milo, Max and Michael have a three stooges moment. Michael is all whiney about his dad and whatever. "Plan" music pops up as Michael asks them if they want food. He goes to order food service but on the phone, he tells the concierge he wants to "surprise [his] father's men".

Dante doesn't think that Michael saw anything but Claire thinks getting him out of the country proves that he did. Dante continues to make excuses and Claire finally asks him if he wants to recuse himself from the case. They argue the pros and cons of putting Michael on the case. Dante gets a call from Lulu. She needs to see him.

Oh God, this episode is only half over.

Mac still wants to know what Maxie was doing in the sewer. She tells him it was a very important case. He wants to know what Johnny is doing there. She says that Spinelli texted Johnny to save them. Mac wants to know why she didn't call the police or him. He thanks Johnny for saving his daughter and then tells him to go. Johnny complies. Mac wants Spinelli to go too, but Maxie tells him to stay.

Dante tells Lulu about his conversation with Claire. She wants to show him a favor that she did for him.

So Michael did order room service for Max and Milo. Food, drinks and two Island girls. Nice. Max and Milo are glad to see what Michael has gotten them. Max, come on! What about Diane? This isn't the Sopranos.

Carly tells Sonny that she thinks Dante is coming around because he told the prosecutor that they don't need Michael's testimony. Sonny is happy about it.

Patrick and Lisa talk about the past and oh God, I'm bored. The elevator finally starts moving again. When they get out, Epiphany and Robin are waiting for them along with the maintenance man, Vern. Vern said there was a sign saying the elevator was due for maintenance but Patrick didn't see it.

Mac fights against Spinelli to Maxie and then leaves. Spinelli thinks Mac is right. He tells her that he made the case up so he could be her hero. He also tells her that Johnny was there by random chance and she could have died if he hadn't passed by.

Lulu shows Dante a new set. It's a giant loft that 'could be [his].' On a cop's salary?

Sonny tells Carly of Alexis' theory. They're both disgusted that Alexis could think that. I don't think it's that far a stretch. And is that supposed to make us feel better about Sonny? That he wouldn't beat a woman to death, but he'd shoot an unarmed cop in the chest point blank. I mean what's the difference? Claudia put a hit out on him, ended up putting a bullet in his son's head and did countless illegal mob-related acts. What did Dante do? He lied. But it's wrong to hurt Claudia because she has breasts? That's fucked up sexist logic right there. Oh and he also wants to tell Dante the truth about what happened.

Alexis arrives home to Molly's lies. They talk about going to see a DISNEY movie and how awesome it is. Shameless, shameless plug, Disney's owned ABC.

Ethan is dealing and conning. Luke and Tracy chat about Ethan's date canceling. Edward calls to summon Tracy about Alice. She leaves. The guy playing at Ethan's table accuses him of being a shark. Luke tries to smooth things over and gets him a drink on the house. He takes over dealing. Kristina shows up at the bar and asks Ethan for a drink.

Dante likes the apartment because it reminds him of Brooklyn. And again, seriously, on a cop's salary? They start to make out.

Max, Milo and Michael are limboing with the island girls. Michael takes advantage of Milo and Max's distraction and slips out.

Carly and Sonny fight about letting Dante know the truth. Claire interrupts, giving them a subpoena for Michael.

Kiefer angrily knocks on Kristina's door calling her a bitch. I really wish Alexis and Molly were home to hear this.

Ethan tries to get Kristina to leave. She delusionaly thinks that Ethan would rather be with her than Jennifer letting slip that she may have had something to do with Jennifer canceling the date. Ethan finally gets mad and takes Kristina by the arm forcing her to leave and she throws a drink at him.

-end