July 2 2010

So today's the day.... who dies? Let's find out.

Sonny, Michael and Sam are sitting at Alexis' house. Molly comes in and metaphors the plot for today's episode. All about a rat going through a maze. Sam thinks it sounds fun, Michael looks contemplative, Sonny looks amused but probably has no idea what's going on. Science? What? Michael says it reminds him of Pentonville. Sonny assures him that he doesn't have to worry about that anymore. Alexis comes in from the kitchen and Sonny wonders why Kristina isn't joining them.

Olivia and Johnny reunite their love with wine. Olivia thinks that she's convinced Sonny that Johnny and Kristina are sleeping together. But no one can convince Sonny of anything. Johnny wants Olivia to stay out of it. He thinks and hopes that Ethan convinced Kristina to drop the whole thing. If he wants this whole thing dropped, then what was he doing yesterday (earlier) goading Sonny at his restaurant? Ding Dong. It's Kristina.

Max supervises car-bomb guy who tells Max that the bomb will work just fine.

Spinelli hasn't found Franco but he tells Jason he's found someone who may know where he is: his mom.

Outside Harbourview Towers, Dante holds a gun on someone whom we're meant to believe is Franco. The guy runs and Dante runs after him.

Credits: Lisa/Steve day.

Patrick and Lisa are drinking at the Metro-Court. His eyes are closed for some reason. It's a game! He has to figure out what it is. SideCar. Kinda dangerous to drink with someone you almost slept with and cheated on your wife with while....drinking...the other day. They toast to Shirley's surgery.

Mode Lite! Maxie and Lulu talk shop when a hotel employee comes in with roses for Maxie. Lulu wants to set "James" up with Brook Lynn. Maxie wonders if the flowers are from Matt but dismisses the idea because Matt's ego would make sure Maxie knew the roses are from him. Lulu wonders if the roses could be from Maxie's actual boyfriend.

Spinelli says Franco and his mom are from Brooklyn. He says the street names and Jason immediately knows that the neighborhood is Bensonhurst. How the hell does he know that? Has he even been to Brooklyn? Just in case you were wondering. More info: Spinelli doesn't think they have any contact. So...why are we wasting time? She now lives in Woodstock, NY (upstate)....but how close is that to Port Charles? I still don't know exactly where Port Charles is supposed to be. It doesn't really make sense. It's supposed to be a major dock town...but upstate New York is landlocked... The only major port would be on Lake Ontario (or Erie)? which would make it way too far from NYC, which they seem to be close to. At one point, Jason rode a motorcycle to Montauk which is at the tip of Long island. Just driving from NYC to Montaulk would take 2-3 hours....factor in how long it would take to get to Buffalo/Rochester etc.......that's like a 10-12 hour motorcycle ride. *Shrug* I've spent too much time thinking about it. Side note: Did you know Port Charles used to be on Long Island? I have no idea when or why they moved it to upstate NY.

Anyway....Dante catches his bandit but it's just some scared homeless guy.

Alexis tells Sonny about Kristina's fake SAT prep course. He gets a bit nervous that everything's not going to plan. Shocker! Molly takes Michael to the kitchen and Sam leaves to go work on a case since dinner will be delayed. Sonny continues to get nervous. He wants to go pick her up but Alexis tells her to sit and relax. Can't relax! Car bomb!

Olivia tries to be a sorta mom to Kristina trying to get her to back down from these lies. She tells Kristina that Sonny knows it's a big lie (he doesn't). Kristina gets on her high horse again about Olivia lying to protect Sonny. Johnny asks Olivia to leave him and Kristina alone for a minute so they can sort things out.

Lisa tells a terrible joke and they talk about the necessity of ego as a surgeon. And it's just them getting drunk to screw and just get on with it.

Back at the hospital, Elizabeth watches over Shirley when Nikolas enters. She thanks him for paying for the surgery and apologizes for taking him for granted.

Alexis calms Sonny down about what she thinks he's anxious about instead of what he's actually anxious about.

Outside the towers, Ronnie and Dante argue about Jason's intentions. Dante tells Ronnie about the homeless guy he thought was Franco. Ronnie doesn't get the whole "use a killer to catch a killer" way of police work. Um...didn't you see Silence of the Lambs? Ronnie also thinks that Jason and Spinelli are upstairs right now planning his escape.

Spinelli asks Jason if his feelings for Dante have changed since he got Michael out of prison. Nope. They haven't. He hates Dante! But he has to work with him! Jason and Dante: The next buddy cop movie!

Maxie doesn't think the flowers were from Spinelli. James comes back with more roses! She still thinks it's from Matt and Lulu suspects that Maxie is just into Matt. Enter Matt. And the roses aren't from him.

Dante comes back to Jason's apartment and tells him about the homeless man in front of the building. Jason tells Dante about Franco's mom. Dante is surprised that Interpol can't find this woman but Spinelli can. I'm surprised too...and so don't believe it. Spinelli says not to ask how...just to accept. Thanks Spinelli-san.

Sonny and Alexis sort of meet on common ground about letting Kristina figure this Johnny thing out for herself...except for the fact that he's a big fat liar. He gets a call. Alexis goes inside so he can take it. It's Max telling him that the car is rigged.

Upstairs, Johnny takes his keys out. He's going to drive Kristina home. DUN! Back in the garage, the car bomb's red light blinks it's threatening blink. DUN!

Elizabeth and Nikolas talk about how awesomely amazing Shirley is. He encourages her to go home and sleep. She waddles away.

Patrick and Lisa are drunk. And it's time for him to walk her home. But that's all that will happen.

Maxie and Matt flirt while Lulu scoffs. Matt insists the flowers aren't from him. Lulu excuses herself and leaves but not before reminding Maxie she has a boyfriend. Maxie thinks that the flowers must be from Spinelli then. But the only person Spinelli wants to give flowers to is Jason. Matt thinks Maxie should rethink her relationship with Spinelli.

Dante and Spinelli argue against procedure....and normally I'd agree with Dante but can we just get on with it? Jason thinks he should go see Franco's mom.

Sam comes back and Kristina isn't there. Sonny is worried and Sam figures out that Molly knows something. And apparently Sam went off to the class and Kristina wasn't there. Molly tells them all that Kristina is with Johnny. Sonny looks alarmed. What? Huh? Something went wrong in Sonny's perfect plan? A car bomb meant for his daughter's lover is going to kill his daughter? Who would have ever seen that one coming?! God, I want to smack him in the face.

Lulu visits Spinelli who apparently was expecting Maxie. Really? How many times in the past few weeks have you seen Maxie? Spinelli tells Lulu about Dante and Jason and Franco's mother. Lulu is worried that Jason will escape but Spinelli thinks jason wouldn't do that. The two friends finally address the tension of being on opposite sides. Spinelli admits why he doesn't like what Dante did. Lulu tells Spinelli about the flowers but he says they're not from him. Duh.

Matt and Maxie. (Too many people with the same sounding names on this show....Max/Maxie/Matt/Mac...it gets confusing.) Anyway, they're arranging the flowers and bantering about ending whatever they have or don't have. James brings two dozen more flowers. Matt dejectedly leaves.

Sonny runs out the door despite Alexis' objections. Alexis yells at Molly and wonders what Kristina is thinking. Molly doesn't understand why no one thinks that Kristina has a right to be mad at Sonny.

In his limo, Sonny calls Max to disable the bomb but no can do.

Kristina and Johnny are still in his apartment arguing about things. She's taken his keys. She wants to stay there and let Sonny stew thinking she's spending the night at Johnny's. He tries to convince her that she doesn't hate Sonny as much as she thinks she does. He empathizes. He yells at her to let it be over. She finally relents, gives him back his keys and tells him to take her home.

Patrick and Lisa: Yeah, you know what happens.

Johnny and Kristina walk towards the car. She says she's relieved they're ending the fake relationship. He's relieved too. He unlocks the doors with his electronic key just as Sonny enters the garage and calls for Kristina. He shields himself from the inevitable explosion.

At the house in Woodstock, Jason and Dante meet Mrs. Franco. She seems just as crazy as Franco...and she says she doesn't have a son.

Maxie sits in the dark as Franco enters with more roses. DUN!

Well that was all anti-climactic.

-end

June 29 2010

Patrick and his overly bandaged hand make out with Lisa. He stops it because he's married...although I can't count how many times he's used that as an excuse...and there he is. Lisa rightly calls him son of a bitch for being a total hypocrite.

Olivia and Lulu continue to talk about the Dante/Franco/Jason thing. Olivia thinks it makes sense but Lulu doesn't want Dante to risk himself. Olivia knows that Dante is stubborn and taking risks for what he believes in is a part of who Dante is. She encourages Lulu to stand by her man.

Michael thinks it's hypocritical that Dante and the police think Jason is bad, yet are using his skills to help them with Franco. Dante says they're just using Jason to lure Franco out, not to kill him. But we all know Jason will somehow end up the hero. Michael's also worried that Jason will run, Dante will be thrown in jail and he'll be sent to jail as well.

Credits: Epiphany/Matt Day

Lucky is waiting for Sonny at his restaurant but insists he's not there as a cop. He says he's worried about Michael. They pointlessly dissect each other's side of the law. Lucky warns Sonny that attempting to see Michael is dangerous. Sonny retorts that Lucky would do the same thing in his position.

Dante thinks Michael will be fine as long as he sticks to the terms of his release. They argue about Jason.

Lulu gets all worked up about how people viewed Dante putting Michael in jail. She and Olivia discuss Dante and his decisions. Lulu doesn't want to back Dante up on what he's doing with Jason, but Olivia says she has no choice.

Patrick blames Lisa for the kiss because for months she flirted with him etc... She thinks he's just not happy with his marriage. He thinks she's dating Steve to make him jealous. Well if it's working, Patrick, that's your fault. She finally gets a back-bone and tells him off, accusing him of not even wanting her and that he just wants to prove he's the best at everything. Interesting theory.

Back at the hospital, Steven has no idea what's going on. He and Liz discuss some work and then of course Shirley. Steven tells her that Shirley's cancer has spread to her brain. Epiphany joins in for a moment so she can earn her weekly paycheck. Steven tries to comfort a devastated Elizabeth.

Lucky thinks it would be best if Sonny gave Michael up but Sonny doesn't see how that's for the best. Lucky compares himself to Michael and says some more words that Sonny seems to actually be listening to. After Lucky leaves, Sonny calls Luke to tell him that Johnny is "about to be taken out." Yeah...he was listening to Lucky.

Dante rues his decisions regarding Michael but Michael doesn't want to talk about it. They argue again about Sonny's involvement with his kids.

Ethan stops by Luke's to give him some Cubans. Luke informs Ethan that he's taking his annual Tony Geary summer vacation. He thinks he needs to distance himself from Port Charles and tries to get Ethan to come with him. Ethan has too much to do here. Ethan gets a phone call from someone who needs to see him.

Pregnant Elizabeth brings Shirley a present. They discuss Shirley's recent diagnosis.

Maxie yells at someone on the phone, sitting on the docks, and it's not about her awful new haircut. Lucky comes by and apparently is her "police escort" for something. She rambles about something I don't caret about. She's worried about Franco's return. With the way James Franco acted last time....we all are.

Ethan arrives out of breath at Johnny's apartment and makes sure he's not there. It was Maya who called him. He answers the door like he lives there. They flirt.

Kate(!) flirts with Coleman...and I really don't get that relationship. She wants him to close the bar early. He moves on to a drinking Patrick and tries to be all bartender therapist. Steven comes in and joins Patrick who half-heartedly apologizes to him. Olivia joins the fray of miserable drinkers. Kate doesn't like that Coleman and Olivia are flirting and starts to throw down.

Kate and Olivia continue to squabble and I'm ready for a girl fight. Brook Lynn amusedly watches. It almost comes to blows, but Steven and Patrick separate them.

Maya starts to tell Ethan a college story when Johnny enters. Ethan continues the apartment facade. All of a sudden, Maya gets all self-rightous about being with someone in a blood-moneyed apartment. Johnny decides to have some fun furthering the lie telling Maya that Ethan is really the one that's in charge. Ethan finally admits that the apartment isn't his. But Maya knew that already. Go girl!

Maxie continues her freak out about Franco. Lucky assures her that it'll be OK.

Lulu comes back to Dante's apartment. Michael makes himself scarce. Dante and Lulu apologize to each other.

After the commercial break, Lulu and Dante continue to over-aplogize to each other. And then they start to have sex.

Michael and Kristina meet on the docks. He tells her about Lulu and Dante and why he had to get away. They discuss Pentonville, staying at Dante's apartment and of course Kristina's hatred for her dad.

Alexis and Sonny discuss their strategy for getting Kristina away from Johnny. He suggests a family meal with everyone including Michael. Alexis thinks he has ulterior motives. Because she's met him.

Post-Coital bliss, Dante and Lulu wonder when Michael will be back. She wants him to be careful. He promises to be.

Lucky comes home to an anxious Luke. Luke is worried about Ethan and tells Lucky why. Smart telling a cop all this.

About Friday, Johnny and Ethan are having some kind of card game and something that will "up the ante".

Kristina and Michael argue some more about Sonny and Claudia. When she brings up Pentonville, Michael freaks out a little bit. She talks about her plan. Michael thinks she needs to learn from Carly about plans. Hee.

Max and Milo discuss the car bomb that's supposed to take out Johnny. Milo is worried and discusses the possibility of the wrong person being blown up....just like what happened to Lily.

Alexis thinks Sonny wants to have dinner with everyone so he can see Michael. She finally agrees to his alibi...I mean the dinner.

-end

June 28 2010

First of all, congratulations to Julie Berman for her win last night. Go Lulu!

Sonny explains to Luke that Johnny "has to die". Because...he held hands with Kristina. And this guy is somehow still popular with fans? He says it'll be a car bomb and no one innocent will be harmed. Yeah...remember that car bomb that was meant for you and killed your wife and unborn child? How quickly we forget. It would serve him right if Kristina ended up getting into that car instead of Johnny. Luke thinks the problem is that everyone will know he did it. Sonny doesn't listen to reason because he's Sonny. He just knows that Johnny has to die. Finally, Luke brings up Lily. And he says he hopes Kristina doesn't get caught in the same situation. Do I know this show or what?

Kristina has walked in on Johnny and Olivia doin' the nasty. Olivia tells Kristina to get out. Kristina says it's up to Johnny.

Lulu listens to Brook Lynn talking to Michael about Sonny and Dante. Lulu wants to know why Brook is encouraging Michael to see Sonny when she knows it's against his probation. Brook insists that she's talking long-term. Lulu doesn't want Dante to be a part of Sonny's life ever.

Dante explains the terms of Jason's release to him. Jason's only request is a gun. And the deals off it doesn't happen.

Credits: Lisa/Steve day. I guess Matt and Maxie's storyline is done?

Steve and Lisa "welcome" Patrick to the hospital even though he's still on suspension. Patrick is there as a patient; he slammed his hand in Emma's toy chest. Not very smart for a surgeon. He snarks about some diagnosis on Lisa's computer and then takes it back because he's still on suspension. Passive-aggressive Port Charles!

Michael doesn't want Brook and Lulu to fight but they do anyway. Michael comes to Sonny's defense regarding shooting Dante in the chest. He says that Sonny had just found out that Dante was an undercover cop and that's the way it works. Well that's lame, Michael. Because shooting people is not the way life works. That's why we have laws. Lulu continues to hate Sonny anyway. Brook thinks that not everyone has to hate Sonny. Sure...but they aren't reading my recaps. They argue some more until Brook excuses himself.

Dante and Jason argue about the terms of the deal especially the sticking point of having a gun.

Johnny and Olivia are clothed now. Kristina gets nasty. Olivia realizes at this point that Kristina and Johnny aren't having sex. Kristina thinks that Olivia is just using Johnny to save Sonny.

Sonny says bringing up Lily hurt Truth hurts. Luke tactfully says there are similarities. Sonny doesn't think there are. Really Sonny? Jealous father....acts irrationally....car bomb... No. No similarities there. He wants to know how Luke would feel if it were a teenage Lulu. First of all, Lulu was having sex as a teenager...and she dated Johnny for a long time too. Someone send Sonny some recaps? But Sonny's got it all figured out. So...tired... When's this going to go down? Friday cliffhanger! And he has Kristina's where-abouts all taken care of too. How could anything possibly go wrong??

Steve and Patrick blah blah blah about a patient.

Lulu and Michael discuss Sonny. She says it's ok to love his dad, but not to be like him. Lulu explains why she doesn't want Dante to get close to Sonny. She doesn't want Sonny to take advantage of Dante.

Dante and Jason argue some more about the gun issue. The problem is there's no trust between them. Dante thinks he'll catch Franco. He wants Jason to be the bait. Jason doesn't think that'll work. Dante says he'll be back tomorrow.

Kristina continues to goad Olivia who wants to call Alexis. Olivia yells at Kristina and says her lies almost got Ethan killed and this time her lies are going to get more people killed. She also thinks it has to do with Kiefer. I really have no idea why Johnny isn't on Olivia's side. He knows this will all end in tears....blood. But then Kristina gets all out of control about her dad and how he degrades women....because that's what this idiocy is all about. And Johnny should know this and stop it. He finally gets Kristina to leave. Olivia can't believe how far this has gotten. Johnny wonders if Kristina was right about sleeping with him to protect Sonny.

Luke thinks Anthony will retaliate. Duh. Sonny again doesn't listen to reason. He says that Morgan is safe with Carly and Jax. Yeah...sure. Luke tries a different tactic by brining up Kristina saying she's going to know. But it's like talking to a three year old brick wall.

Patrick leaves with his overly bandaged hand. Steve and Lisa joke about it after he leaves.

Olivia and Johnny cry over spilled relationship.

Claire is pissed at being summoned by Jason....she argues against the gun thing. Jason argues for it.

Lulu comes to see Sonny. She tells him about Jason and Franco and the great 80s sitcom idea. She wants Sonny to make sure Jason doesn't escape. Sonny doesn't think Dante losing his badge would be a bad thing...because he's a dick. Finally he tells Lulu he'll make sure Jason doesn't run but he wants something in return. He wants her to stop talking badly about him to his kids.

Bar of one night stands: Patrick gets a beer at Jake's. Lisa comes in and spars/banters....and yeah, we all know where they'll end up.

Johnny and Olivia continue to break up for good. Olivia leaves in tears.

Claire is worried about Jason escaping and her losing her job. Jason tries to convince her that he has no reason to escape because he'd never be able to come home. She says if they're going to release Jason, it has to be on their terms.

Lulu is back at home wanting to cook for Michael. She tries not to be insulted when he suggests take-out. He guesses that Lulu went to see Sonny. Dante comes home and tells Lulu and Michael that Jason will be released tomorrow. She tells him about her talk with Sonny.

Sonny is a little irked that Lulu went to Sonny. They fight a little which is new. It's actually nice to see them argue like a normal couple. She doesn't want him to risk his life. He says it's his life to risk. She insists that his life is her life....or something more romantic and less wordy than that.

Brook arrives at Jake's and Coleman is happy to see her. She tells him about her metro-court gig that we've yet to see. She asks about Johnny.

Patrick and Lisa play pool and drink beer. Just get to it, already. He says something pretty flirty and egotistical to her which finally makes her get a back bone. She leaves. But for how long?

Brook continues to talk about Coleman's clientele. And....enter Johnny on cue. Brook goes to join him and manipulates her way into his night.

Olivia finds Lulu crying on the docks. Lulu tells her that Dante is stubborn and going to get himself thrown in prison.

Sonny goes to visit Jason. He tells Jason about the plan with Johnny. He also asks Jason not to run.

Patrick follows Lisa to her house. They yell about stupid stuff while I'm just waiting for them to kiss. He finally calls her bluff.

Olivia commiserates with Lulu about Dante. She knows how stubborn he can be. Lulu tells Olivia about the whole Jason/Franco plan.

Dante rues arguing with Lulu. He tells Michael about Jason being unarmed. Michael gets pissed that Jason won't have protection.

Jason still holds a grudge against Dante for putting Michael in prison. Sonny insists that Dante helped Michael get out but according to Jason, that's not enough. Oh and then something weird happens: Sonny talks some sense. Jason wants Dante behind bars to know the hell Michael went through....for a month. Sonny says that if Dante ends up in jail, Michael will be back there too. Words of wisdom...from Sonny's lips...against violence. Did I just see a pig fly outside my window?

And we end up on Patrick goading Lisa calling her on her shit. Again, Lisa makes fun of Patrick the daddy. And finally they kiss.

-end

June 22 2010

Steve and Patrick argue about a patient and Lisa tries to interfere. It gets so bad that Patrick punches Steve; Nikolas tries to intervene - but Steve takes care of it: Patrick is suspended.

Kristina doesn't want her mom to interfere with her fake fucking a 30 year old mobster. Alexis tries to talk directly to Johnny.

Now that Dante has gotten Michael out of jail, Brook wants 10 thousand as "severance". Then she tries blackmail.

Dante thought he was clear about Sonny staying away from Michael but he should know by now that Sonny does what he wants despite putting his kids in danger.

Credits: Epiphany/Matt day...

Patrick, "You can't suspend me, I'm the best neurosurgeon in the state." Is Sonny's writer writing for him? Cause seriously? Lisa agrees with Steve, as does Nikolas. Before he rushes off, Patrick snidely says, "Good luck with the patients without me." Oh geez. I so hate arrogance.

Maxie hobbles into the PCPD and sees Lucky. According the SOD, Kirsten Storms broke her foot or something so Maxie will have to suffer by explaining that she's a klutz in five inch heels. And her hair is way too bleached. Anyway, she's there to see Claire Walsh. Lucky wants to know what it's all about. She tells him about Franco.

Alexis and Kristina fight. She threatens to take away the keys to her car. Kristina acts like a total brat chastising her mom for her choices to which Alexis rightly answers, "Then stop following my example!" Kristina pretty much blames her mom for approving of Kiefer. Is she related to Carly somehow? Johnny tries to butt in but Kristina cuts him off. Dayum! Oh gosh, and then all sorts of confusion because Alexis isn't even the one that Kristina wants to hurt but this whole plan is pretty much hurting everyone. And why anyone thought this would be a good story...I just don't know. Anyway, Alexis threatens Johnny...who just seems like he wants to spill the entire truth but is way too caught up in this bullshit. And then Johnny says something even more confusing. He says that he won't pursue Kristina but he won't push her away either. He says it's her choice. And what's your choice, Johnny? Just to be a piece of meat for anyone who wants you? In that case....can I try?

Carly, because she's a big idiot, wants to continue her plan. Brook Lynn doesn't get it. The audience doesn't get it either.

Sonny tries to talk to Michael. Dante tries to usher Sonny out. Sonny thinks he can do whatever he wants. He still wonders what side Dante is on and doesn't realize what an asshole he's being; he doesn't realize what it took to get Michael out. Sonny didn't do it, Dante did. Gawd, did I mention how much I hate arrogance?

Lucky wants to know why Franco is contacting Maxie again. Maxie just wants to get rid of the picture. She runs off her mouth about how much she destroyed Spinelli's faith in her and that she's trying to get it back. Lucky thinks that maybe Maxie should let him go. Agreed!

Steve thanks Nikolas for backing him up earlier. In return, Nikolas wants Steven to talk to Elizabeth about her recent investments.

Kristina and Alexis argue about something that doesn't even matter or should be creating a wedge between them. As it thunders outside, they talk about Sonny and trying to piss him off which neither Johnny nor Kristina really deny. Then Alexis finally says something of note to Johnny, "You stood in my living room and told me that Kristina shouldn't be in Sonny's world. Why is her being in your world any better than that?" Johnny thinks he's better than Sonny. Alexis tells him that Michael is back home - but then goes on to explain Michael being caught in the crossfire and not wanting Kristina to be there as well.

Lulu has her say. She basically calls Sonny selfish (true) and that his being there could send his son back to prison. Sonny: "The judge isn't here right now." ....which may work in five year old court.. Anyway, Lulu finishes and leaves. Even Sonny admits that Lulu is pretty amazing. But Sonny just wants to be a good father. Dante tells him to prove it by going home.

Bar of one night stands: Coleman pours Patrick a shot. Patrick plans to get drunk and hands Coleman his keys. Lisa comes in to make things worse. Patrick continues to act like a toddler - Lisa continues to insult his livelihood. And whatever, after various barbs traded, Lisa gets serious for a moment and brings up Patrick's dad. I guess even the best neurosurgeons have daddy issues.

Carly is at home taking down the "welcome home" sign when the doorbell rings. Lulu stops by and Carly acts all fake. Lulu gets to the point. She tells him about Sonny and Dante and Michael. Carly says she'll talk to Sonny. She also lies that she's grateful to Dante.

Michael finally speaks up and tells Sonny that he's glad his dad came to see him but he should stay away. Sonny, "I just want us all to get to know each other" because he's a deluded freak. Michael says the law says differently. Sonny, "I don't care about the law." Duh times twelve.

Patrick continues to drink as he explains to Coleman why he's so fucked up. Blah blah blah, ex-girlfriend, blah blah blah, steals my patients. He doesn't forget to bring up Robin while he's upset about Steven "stealing" his ex-girlfriend. Because he lurves her. Luke walks in and decides to have his own pity party. Keys to Coleman. Drinks all around. Luke can't go to the Haunted Star because technically it belongs to Tracy.

Maxie apologizes to Lucky for giving him grief about staying with Elizabeth. Lucky thinks he's the last person he should trust to give advice and says that if she wants to work on things with Spinelli, she should. No!!!! Claire arrives. They snark back and forth until Lucky urges Maxie to tell Claire why she's there. She does.

Brook comes by Johnny's with the bad excuse that her car broke down. He calls a tow truck.

Sonny continues to be a selfish prick. He wants the three of them to figure things out and play scrabble and decorate the christmas tree and play with puppies and gawd I'm bored. And same arguments...blah blah blah. Sonny to Dante "Why can't you ever see me in a good light?" Maybe because of lines like "I don't care about the law!" Dante retorts with, "Why can't you do the right thing for once?" Isn't that the eternal question? But Sonny's in hell! Because it's all about Sonny! And he's not going to stop loving his children! And what? Is that...what Dante said? Because I didn't hear that. Sonny leaves as he usually does....as a five year old having a tantrum.

Patrick and Luke drink and talk about their problems....uh oh. Isn't this how Johnny and Olivia ended up in bed?

Claire questions Maxie about the picture. Nothing much comes out except Jason and murder. Lucky walks Maxie out and Claire immediately gets on the phone with someone she needs to see about Franco.

Brook, clothed in Johnny's shirt aks him about Kristina etc... She finally goes to get dressed.

Sonny sees Olivia at the docks. They talk even though she shouldn't. He tells her about Dante and Michael.

Dante and Michael make the couch up. Michael seems open to having a brotherly relationship with Dante. They talk about Sonny. Dante is surprised to hear that Sonny is good at fishing. I'm not. He probably yells at them and tells them they betrayed him before they just up and die. Michael says he feels bad that Dante and Sonny can't make things work.

Patrick and Luke continue talking about their woes. Gosh it's awful being a responsible man in a committed relationship!

It's Ronnie! Claire asks him about Franco and tells him what she knows so far. He thinks she just needs to keep an eye on Jason and she'll find Franco.

Dante agrees that Sonny can be charming but thinks if he's that devoted to his kids, he should walk away - from his business or his kids.

Blah blah blah, Sonny and Olivia and I'm bored again.


-end

June 14 2010

So it was my birthday weekend and I drank tons. I'm feeling better now.

Claire calls Sonny flat out crazy or an ingenious manipulator which turns out is not exclusive of each other since he's both. She needs some eyeshadow. She wants to know what gives Sonny the right to kill Johnny while she looks the other way. Because he's an arrogant S.O.B.

And the reason why Sonny's in such a tiff - Kristina is hanging out at Johnny's with a plan. She wants to pretend she's Johnny's girlfriend. Johnny's not so sure about the plan. He tries to get out of it by being an understanding big brother-type. I'm not even sure what she would get out of this especially since she admits it'll just make her dad out-of-control crazy. Does she really want her dad in prison that badly? And from this plan, the thing that will put him in jail is killing Johnny. Not exactly a win-win here.

Dante quickly puts the picture that Franco sent him away while Lulu jokingly walks out in a towel doing a Brooklyn accent saying she was accidentally locked out. But she sees Dante is upset.

Also upset? Prisoner McRapist. 'Cause Jason just killed him. Before he dies, Prisoner McRapist lets slip that Franco "wants to play". Jason demands to know where Franco is. Why should he tell you? You stabbed him! Prisoner McRapist agrees with me and dies instead of telling Jason anything more.

Credits: Lisa/Steve day.

Jason realizes Michael was watching and yells at him to get back to his cell.

Lulu thinks making fun of Brook Lynn was what made Dante upset. He tries to change the subject but she wants to know what's up. She steers the conversation back to what's bothering him and he says it's just some case that he thought was ended...which I guess isn't an outright lie. Of course the phone rings and it's Maxie. Maxie has some emergency but Lulu wants to have sex. Dante tells her it's ok and that he wants to investigate this "cold case". After she goes, Dante calls someone to come over.

Sonny denies that he wants to kill Johnny. Claire repeats his sentence about killing Johnny Zacharra word for word. They argue about what the law means. She calls him lots of accurate names - but we all know she's going to end up in bed with him. This upsets me. But I will continue to like Claire until that happens. Bottom line, she threatens that if Johnny shows up dead, she'll prosecute Sonny to the fullest extent of the law.

Kristina whines about how Sonny tortured Claudia. Johnny doesn't want to use her but she says she's willing. He asks her what I asked earlier in the episode: "What does [she] get out of it?" She just wants him to hurt. He asks her to elaborate and how she sees it playing out. She asks if it matters? Johnny, "it does if I'm dead in the end, yeah." Exactly what I said. I could right this show. Which doesn't say much. She assures him that he won't die and that he'll go to jail if he tries. Johnny thinks she should be channeling all that hate energy into something positive and realizes the irony of his being the one to say that.

Luke and Tracy are still stuck in their cell arguing about their fake marriage. He insists he's still in love with her but she thinks he's just in love with her money. Nikolas comes and opens the gates. Luke thinks he's working with Helena.

I just realized that Dante's place reminds me of Courtney's old place. Ah well. Lulu, now dressed, talks about Maxie and how stupid she is...and I don't disagree. She brings up Franco which makes Dante go off on him and how he hurt his girlfriend. They kiss and part ways. Dante takes out the photo again.

Kristina wants to know why Johnny is being so noble/stubborn. He insists he's not a nice guy. He further explains why he can't do this plan. She says she feels safe with him but assures him it's not sexual. She leaves saying if he changes his mind, the offer is still open.

Carly stops by her bar at the metro court and asks Patrick where his dinner companions are. Patrick snidely says that Lisa and Steve are probably sexing it up somewhere. He tells her that Robin is off in Africa. She snidely says, "it must be lonely having a saint for a wife." She tells the bartender that Patrick's tab is on the house and they weirdly flirt. Carly goads him a bit about Lisa.

Nicholas wants to know if Helena locked them in the cell for a good reason. Tracy, "And people call the Quartermaines crazy." Hee. She says there's no reason to lock someone in a dungeon and it almost killed her. Luke takes this as an opportunity to placate his non-wife by telling her more than Nicholas that his undying love and devotion brought her back to health. Nicholas says he'll have them both flown out of there right away. Lucky who was listening to the last sentence, steps in and says that was "awfully big of [him]". But I think he's being sarcastic because he says it all mean-like.

Patrick tells Carly that he has the wrong impression. She thinks she doesn't. He insists he wouldn't cheat on Robin but Carly doesn't buy it.

Back at the cell, Jason tells Michael that he needs his help. He makes sure that Michael denies he knows anything. And not to speak up for him or defend him. Michael says he's learned not to trust the cops and Jason immediately regrets his entire existence. He tells Michael that that's not what he's supposed to learn. But why not? Jason doesn't trust cops. Why should Michael? This reminds me of a fantasy I once had of Jason dressed as a cop. It's not so much that I want him to be a cop....I just think he'd look hot in that uniform. *rowr*

Ronnie is delightfully surprised that Dante called him. Dante gives him the picture and exposits that ever since Franco was labeled a serial killer, the public can't get enough of him. Dante thinks the picture may mean that Franco is killing again. Ronnie thinks that Dante wants to go after Franco so he can avoid going after Sonny.

UGH. Claire is still at Sonny's? This should have ended three scenes ago. They goad and threaten each other and there's nothing new. He thinks the plan might be to take him down instead of Johnny. She wants to know if he's accusing her of a double cross. Yes. Now go home.

Nicholas sends Tracy and Luke upstairs where some guy is going to take them to Athens. Nicholas thinks he done good but Lucky doesn't want to thank him.

Patrick casually changes the subject towards Carly's son. She says it's hard but is glad Jason is in there to protect him. Patrick admits that what Jason did was admirable despite pretty much hating him. Carly takes an incoming phone call. It's Brook telling her that Dante is gone and Lulu just walked in.

Michael wants to know what Prisoner McRapist told Jason. Jason doesn't want to say but insists it wasn't about Michael. He's bothered about all that Michael is learning. Michael says he's learned that killing is about staying alive; not fear and respect.

And Claire is still there. She repeats her terms: If he tricks Johnny into committing an illegal act, she'll arrest Johnny but if Sonny is caught committing an illegal act, she'll arrest Sonny. He somehow starts talking about his kids and their problems and his problems not seeing his kids...and stuff. And I don't know why. They finally finalize the deal. And she finally leaves.

Lucky criticizes Helena's actions but Nikolas defends it because Luke plays the same games. Lucky reminds him that Helena kidnapped him for a year and messed with his head. Something that never really got addressed with the other two Luckys and I hope they delve into that a bit more. He says that Elizabeth was the only thing that got him through all of it and Nikolas came along and took her away from him.

Olivia comes in to talk about a bartender; Sonny tells her to leave because he's meeting Johnny there. But too late, cause Johnny comes in asks him if he should get upset because he's hanging out with his "lady". He tells Sonny to not push his buttons because he won't like how he pushes back.

Dante visits Jason in jail and shows him the picture.

Nikolas doesn't really get it. He says that what Helena did had nothing to do with him and that Elizabeth chose to be with him. Lucky says it's not about Elizabeth; it's about the brother who he trusted.....and then shuts him in the cell.

Sonny makes empty threats while Olivia watches. Johnny makes the same empty threats and leaves.

Carly and Brook Lynn stage a fake fight for Lulu's behalf. Carly fakes a threat to fire Brook for trying to seduce Dante. Brook fake insists that she didn't. Lulu hears this, comes out and tells everyone that it's all ok! Sucker.

Jason plays the staring game and Dante gets mad. The warden walks in and tells Jason, "I warned you what would happen if you caused trouble here".

-end

May 28 2010

So I missed the last few days. I'm loving Claire's manipulation of Sonny. She's smart and I can see her brain working a mile a minute. Sonny's wrath and self-centeredness continues to make me want to throw beer bottles at the TV. I love Brook Lynn, although I'm not sure how they're writing her. Is she a money obsessed bitch who will do anything to live in the lap of luxury or does she actually feel for Lulu and Dante. Could she just be a complicated character and the answer is both? Nah...this is General Hospital. So let's start, shall we?

We're in Dante's pad with Lulu and the above mentioned Brook Lynn Ashton. Dante tries to convince Lulu to get Brook to sing at the metro-court. Lulu remembers that Brook used to have issues with singing for money. OMG. I just flash backed to that awful audition where all those sad extras had to sing "Milkshake". Oh and Dillon wore a dress.... Anyway, Brook is over that whole issue. It's fun to see Dante being manipulated by Brook.

Michael is pissed at Jason (the only guy in there protecting him) for confronting the guard.

Lucky and Claire argue about Sonny. He thinks that Sonny is manipulating Claire.....but she assures him it's the other way around.

Johnny is being held by Max, Milo and some other thugs because Sonny is too much of a pussy to handle him mano a mano. Johnny plays it cool until Olivia runs up to save her boy toy.

Credits: OK, so it seems they're flip flopping credits every day. One day is Epiphany and Matt and the other day is Steve and Lisa. Today? Steve and Lisa.

Kristina comes to see her cousin at Wyndemere. She asks about Spencer but Nikolas probably doesn't know. I'm sure he's around with the servants somewhere. Anyway, Kristina talks about Michael and how unfair it is. Nik can't help with Michael but tells Kristina that RoadKill's parents will be dropping the wrongful death lawsuit soon. Kristina admits that she misses RoadKill sometimes and then wonders if it sounds ridiculous. Nikolas says (yes) no. He then talks about his woes with Elizabeth.

Lucky worries about Claire. He's known Sonny for a long time and still thinks that Claire's going to be manipulated. Lucky asks a hypothetical, "Assuming you can't get both of them, who would you rather bust: Sonny or Johnny". Claire defiantly answers: "Who says we can't get both"? She admits that Sonny is very convincing but she knows his 'act'. Lucky says he's only known two woman who can hold their own against Sonny: Carly and Diane. Lucky talks about what a great guy Sonny can be and that's how he draws women in. He says that women want to "save him". Claire says she doesn't want to save him. She wants to put him away. Oh god. I hope she never folds. The wheels of cliche foreshadowing are getting me down. She goes on a rant about how awful Sonny is.

Olivia tries to convince Sonny to let Johnny go, though Johnny and Sonny want her to let it go. Finally Sonny, the sexist dick says, "Go on Johnny, let your girlfriend save your ass." Because girls can't be powerful! Girls can't fight! Only men smash!
Dick.

Jason tells Michael that he's there to protect him but he can only do that if he knows what happened. MIchael convinces him to let it go. He proves himself by blocking a test punch from Jason.

Lulu and Dante update Brook Lynn on the Michael situation. And the Carly wrath. Brook puts two and two together. She now knows the full reason why she's there.

CPPP makes an announcement over the GH loudspeaker telling everyone that all her jewelry is on sale. Epiphany angrily takes the phone away from her. CPPP doesn't apologize! She's got cancer! She can do what she wants! Elizabeth wheels her away.

Sonny, "Blah blah blah, women, blah blah blah, you shoulda been dead...blah blah blah." Johnny, "You're nothing without Jason...blah blah blah". Olivia, "Relax, you both have big dicks." Blah. Blah-fuckity-blah. They both threaten each other and...I don't care.

Lulu says she'll talk to Carly although she's a bit wary. Brook makes a break for it but Lulu and Dante convince her to stay for dinner so they can all talk about Benson-fucking-hurst. Brook tells a boring story when Lulu gets interrupted by a work emergency. She goes off leaving the too Brooklynites alone.

Carly visits Michael in jail and is alarmed to see his bruises. It's nice that Pentonville seems to have unlimited visiting hours.

Claire comments on Lucky's knowledge of Sonny's personal life. He tells her of his dad's past with Sonny. Claire hopes it won't be a conflict of interest but Lucky reassures her that it won't. I can't wait until they kiss. She flirts a little, asking him out under the guise of work. Helena interrupts telling Lucky to tell his "secretary" to get back to work because she needs his full attention. Ha! Claire seems amused rather than offended and goes off. After she leaves, Helena wants to know why Lucky won't "let" Elizabeth move to Wyndemere.

Liz mock scolds CPPP. She talks about Nikolas and Wyndemere and ultrasounds and CPPP eats the whole thing up like she's watching a soap opera. She thinks Elizabeth should reconsider living at Wyndemere.

Sam and Kristina walk down a the street with empty cups of coffee. These actors really need to learn how to hold cups and act like there's liquid inside. I mean that's like acting 101. Anyway, Kristina's going Pentonville to visit Michael and Sam wants to talk her out of it. When she realizes she can't, she tries to prepare Kristina for the prison set(ting).

Carly questions Michael about his injuries. Carly worries; Michael prattles. She tells him that Jax is working on getting him out. She also tells him that, "the one person responsible for putting you in here is Dante Falconeri." No one else is to blame. This week.

Sonny visits his eldest. Seriously, can Dante get a lock on his door? Not a great place for a cop to live.

Am I seriously only half way done with this shit? They don't pay me enough. Oh wait, they don't pay me.

Sonny is concerned about Olivia. *bleep-blop* Sonny leaves.

CPPP continues to try to convince Elizabeth to move in with Nikolas.

Also trying to convince someone to have Elizabeth move to Wyndemere? Helena. Lucky tries to tell her he has nothing to do with her decision but Helena's not listening. She thinks Lucky needs to be more pro-active.

Kristina's turn to visit. Michael jokes that he ran into a door. She jokes that he opened a cabinet and a can fell out and hit him in the eye. Ahh, abuse humor. She's come a long way.

Carly is now visiting Jason. She wants to know how he got his bruises. He says he doesn't know but tells her that he's teaching Michael how to fight. She tells herself more than Jason that Michael will get out of here and move on with his life. Sure.

Nikolas checks up on Elizabeth via phone when Lucky enters. He tells her about Helena's visit. Nikolas agrees with Helena that Lucky is responsible for Liz's decisions. Lucky's all perplexed about how cruel Nikolas has been. He blames Emily's death for changing Nikolas. Nikolas suggests that people have affairs all the time and then points out Lucky's affair with Maxie. Nik defends his child-rearing actions and threatens Lucky to stay out of the way.

Michael jokes about the food in prison. Kristina wants to know what she can do to help. He wants her to not take things for granted. He talks about how wonderful Port Charles is; he misses Kelly's and the coffee and french fries there. Times up.

Carly commiserates with Jason about Dante and Lulu although Jason wants her to stop focussing on them. But Carly is like a dog with a bone.

Brook Lynn is back at Dante's and they're cooking. Because that's what Italian's do. Italian's from Brooklyn. They cook! And they go to church!. And they reminisce about block parties! They get into talking about Sonny. Dante hates him but can admit that Sonny can be "nice".

He's not nice now when he gives Max the order to burn Johnny's stuff. Olivia barges in and tells Sonny to stop before he does something he'll regret. That would require a conscience, Olivia.

Nik and Lucky continue to have their little Cassadine/Spencer war. It almost comes to blows and Lucky finally lets it all out on Nikolas about how he cheated with Elizabeth. He compares him to his father who kidnapped Laura and forced her to bore his child. Nikolas responds with, "don't talk about fathers who commit rape. That's one fight you can't win." Duuuuude.

Gosh, they get a lot of visitors. Next on the list is Sam, visiting Jason. She tells him that she applied for a conjugal visit but she was denied because they're not married.

Lulu approaches Carly about Brook Lynn.

Dante and Brook continue to cook and to talk about cooking and Sonny and she even mentions Brenda.

Sonny and Olivia argue some more about Johnny. And of course he threatens Johnny's life again because that's what he does.

-end

May 5 2010

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

Lulu and Dante lay on the couch talking about their day. They go from talking about Michael to talking about pizza.

Skye joins Jax at the metro-court bar. He's drinking and commiserating.

Michael cries in jail. Best way to get raped, Michael. Jason visits. He finally wants to listen to Michael instead of telling him what to do. A bit late, Jason.

Credits: Maybe Matt can do something really bad and be Michael's cell mate. Then he'd get some airtime.

Dante surprises Lulu with cheese. Dante wants to make some Italian dish. Because he's Italian. And all Italian's cook.

Michael tells Jason how Dante helped him. I roll my eyes as he talks about Sonny and his claustrophobia. Yeah, it's a good thing the big ol' mobster didn't get thrown in there. Jason wants Michael to think about whales. So he can sleep. Yeah, I don't know.

Skye and Jax talk about Michael's woes and babies and cover-ups and truth.

Olivia hugs Johnny as he thinks about his sister. Wait... He talks about what a dick his dad was and how Claudia protected him by punching a guard in the nose. Wasn't it shown that Claudia was a shy wall-flower as a child?

Dante teaches Lulu had to dice gross tomatoes. They talk about recipes and people who want to poison them. Lulu worries that Jason will come after Dante.

Johnny pours some wine as Olivia buttons her blouse. Did we miss them have sex? Olivia wants to go - I guess we did. They argue about Johnny's life choices. Johnny just wants Olivia to spend the night.

Jax tells Skye about Claire. She doesn't understand why Dante turned Michael in. Jax feels bad that he couldn't protect Michael.

Robin(!) puts Emma to bed when there's a knock at the door. It's Jason.

Oops! Lulu cut her finger, so Dante puts a band-aid around it. He pours wine. This is a pretty mellow episode as compared to the last few. They cheers each other.

Jax wants to salvage his marriage. I like that Jax is so friendly with all his exes. Skye encourages Jax to work on his marriage and stop wasting his time on Sonny.

Jason hates that he brought Michael into his life and Sonny's. Robin remembers that Jason gave everything to Michael. Does she also remember how she told AJ he was Michael's father?

In his cell, Michael remembers Jason's words as he tries to shut everything out so he can sleep.

Johnny and Olivia cuddle. He jokes about leaving the business. He wants to know if she would move in with him if he changed.

Lulu and Dante are finished with dinner. They talk about how they both got yelled at by Carly.

Jason says he came to Robin to apologize to her. He says she was right to tell AJ that he was Michael's father. Robin thinks that Michael may not have been better off with the Quartermaines.

Johnny and Olivia talk about more stuff I don't care about. Time for sex.

Lulu and Dante....seriously, are there no story lines left now that Michael is in jail? Lulu says she has to leave to go to work. Dante asks her to stay. He wants her to spend the night. She does. Time for sex. Part II.

Patrick comes home to Robin who is going through baby pictures of Michael. She tells him about Jason. Time for sex part III?

Jason comes home to Sam who has too much chinese food! He tells her about Michael.

Jax visits Michael. Geez - how long are visiting hours? Jax tells him that he's sorry.

Robin talks more about Jason. Patrick tells Robin that she turned him on to love and he can't understand what it was like for her to lose Stone. Well of course Robin was your first love - you can't have great loves until you arrive in Port Charles.

Sam tries to cheer up Jason. Oh GOD, I'm so freaking bored.

Michael tells Jax he has nothing to feel sorry for. He understands why Jax wanted to protect Michael from Sonny's life. He wants that for Morgan but thinks it's too late for him. He says he can take care of himself. Yeah? Why don't you get a cellmate. And then start crying again.

Dante lights candles which is the unequivocal beginning of sex. And so it begins... Lulu thinks they're going to be interrupted but he says he unplugged the phone and jokes(?) that he threw the cell phones out the window. I hope it's worth it, kids. And they finally do it.

-end

May 3 2010

Lucky's gun is on Jason. Jason doesn't think Lucky will shoot him. Lucky, "Not in any place that will kill ya". Hee! Michael doesn't want anyone shot because of him. Jason just wants to take Michael away. Lucky wants to do what Michael wants. Jason informs Lucky of what transpired at the court house.

Claire is pissed that Jax knew everything. He argues that Sonny needs to pay for his lifetime of his crimes. Claire threatens that if her career goes down because of this (and I don't see why it would..), that he'll go down with her. Or on her?

Carly yells at Lulu. Lulu insists that Dante is the only one who is doing the right thing.

Sonny wants to know why Dante would hurt Michael. Dante is trying to save Michael so he doesn't grow up to be like Sonny.

Credits: Matt: Why couldn't I have been a Corinthos? Then I could get more screen time.

Jax house: Kristina and Molly meet Morgan there. He tells them that Ronnie was there looking for Michael. Kristina tells Morgan about what Dante did at court. Morgan can't believe that Dante give up Michael. Molly reminds him that Dante tricked him into giving away Michael's location. To the court room!

Carly and Lulu argue. Words like 'bitch' and 'selfish' pass Carly's lips. That's the bitch calling the kettle selfish.

Sonny doesn't understand this word called 'justice'. All he knows is the word 'protection'. Dante tries...but it's like teaching a stupid dog new tricks. Of course Sonny turns it into being about him and Dante tells him, "it's not about you!" But...Sonny Corinthos doesn't understand those words. Dante tells him that he wants to get Michael away from Sonny and his lifestyle.

Jax tells Claire to 'think like a lawyer." Claire threatens that he doesn't want her to think like a lawyer because she can prosecute him. Jax changes the subject by asking her if she thinks the judge believed Carly about Sonny killing Claudia. She thinks they need to still find Michael and Michael needs to agree with Carly's story.

Johnny talks badly about Dante to Olivia. He doesn't get why people protect Sonny. Me neither. Olivia tells Johnny that Dante is just doing his duty as a cop. Johnny thinks Jason will kill Dante over this.

Michael tells Jason he was going to confess anyway if his dad was found guilty. Jason and Lucky argue some more. Lucky yells at Jason to stop living Michael's life for him. Jason still doesn't budge. He pleads with Lucky to turn his head for 30 seconds. Lucky takes Michael away and Jason instructs Michael to wait for Diane. After they leave, Jason calls Diane and tells her to go to the PCPD.

Olivia doesn't think that Jason would kill a cop - but Johnny insists he will and he'll make it look like an accident. Johnny is furious with Dante, but doesn't want to see anything happen that will hurt Olivia.

Sonny: "blah blah blah, protection." Dante, "Your 'protection' hasn't done anything". Dante says he's only concerned with Michael having a better life.

Carly and Lulu.....ugh... so repetitive.

Claire thinks Jax is arrogant for framing Sonny. They argue some more....and I don't care. This whole episode is boring. It's just everyone blaming everyone else. Everyone else is wrong! No one owns up to anything.

Lucky brings Michael in. Diane tries to intervene but Mac stops her. He tells her that he needs to be processed first. Michael tries to tell Diane he's OK but she warns him to say nothing. Mac assures Diane that everything will be done by the book. Michael hasn't been arrested yet so he hasn't been 'Mirandized'. Wow....my mac recognized that word. Anyway, Mac Mirandizes Michael. Lucky takes him away for processing. Jason comes rushing in. Diane tells him that Mac wouldn't let Michael anywhere near her. Jason panics because this is the Worst Thing Ever.

Sam arrives at the PCPD. He fills her in and tells her the Judge wants to talk to Michael directly.

Lucky goes into judge's chambers. The judge is weary that Lucky didn't properly arrest him. He's confused to why Lucky brought him in despite Michael's confession to Dante and that Michael's been missing for weeks. Lucky says his orders were to serve the subpoena only. The Judge thinks he's being played. He thinks the reason why Lucky didn't arrest Michael was because he would have had to tell the court everything that Michael said.

Carly doesn't want to talk to Jax right now! Blah blah blah. Carly is mad at the world. All this is everyone's fault but hers! Jax wants to find away to fix this because apparently Carly is that good in bed.

Lulu and Dante commiserate. They both believe they're doing the right thing for Michael even though it looks like a betrayal to everyone else. Dante wants to teach Michael about being a good, honorable, law-abiding person! The wrath of Morgan comes in. He wants to know why Dante would give up their brother!

Olivia visits Sonny.....and there is more arguing. Betrayal! The Betrayal! To Sonny, it's Un. Forgivable. He actually says it like it's two words. Olivia brings up that Sonny shot Dante. IN THE CHEST. She wonders if he's going to finish the job. I'm not fast forwarding through the commercial right away because I'm dreading the..."I didn't know he was my son!" defense.

Jason tells Sam about Lucky holding a gun on him. Sam tells him that he needs to figure out a way to get Michael out of this.

The Judge asks Lucky if he has any ties to Michael. Cousins! The judge wants to know why Lucky didn't recuse himself from the case. Because everyone in Port Charles is fucking related. He says Mac asked him to find Michael. The judge asks Michael some psychological and totally inappropriate questions about Michael...which I don't think would ever happen. Lucky makes an impassioned speech about Michael.

Dante explains to Morgan why he did what he did. Dante is more optimistic than anyone else that nothing bad will happen to Michael. Morgan is worried that Michael will go to jail and Molly argues that Dante doesn't even like Michael that much. Dante says it's more complicated than that.

Olivia wants to know if Jason will kill Dante. Sonny says that if it were anyone else, they'd be dead. Olivia thinks if Sonny just told the truth...but Sonny was trying to 'protect'...blah blah blah. And don't worry, Sonny. Carly will never go to jail for perjury. He keeps using the words, "going after..." and doesn't realize that Dante's not "going after" anyone. He also uses the word "betrayal" a whole bunch of times until the word loses all meaning.

Carly finally admits to some blame by saying she shouldn't have gone along with the cover-up. She regrets the way Michael was brought up and she appreciates how Jax has brought Morgan up. Nice...how long will that last? She doesn't see a way back for them, but she hopes Jax will remain a constant in Morgan's life. They're interrupted by the phone. A judge clerk tells her about Michael.

Lulu and Dante try to reason with the kids who aren't making it easy. Morgan seems to understand though - which he tells Carly when she frantically runs over to her son. Carly instructs Kristina to take the kids home. She yells at Dante for lying to Morgan about Michael being OK.

Diane and Claire return to the court. They both agree that the case has gotten out of control and that Judge Carroll is playing by his own rules and they don't even know why they're there. It's a nice little camaraderie between lawyers.

Outside, Lulu comforts Dante. He sees his mom walking in with Sonny and goes to talk to her while Sonny comes to talk to Lulu. He, too, gets on her case. Lulu tiredly tries to explain again that they're trying to help Michael. Sonny: "You're not the person I thought you were." UGH - so. hypocritical. Head. Going. To. Explode.
On the other side, Dante wants to know why Olivia is showing up with Sonny. She's worried about him and warns him to stay out of trouble.
Jason and Sam watch them all go into the courtroom.

Who's Sonny blaming now? Diane! For not being able to get close to Michael. Diane snits that she told him to let Michael tell the truth from the beginning. She says it's out of her hands.

Everyone sits and gets ready for the Judge to enter. Hey! Mike is there! The Judge says he'll question Michael himself and there will be no interruptions. He makes a list of Nos. Michael enters in cuffs. They're removed before he sits down. First question, "Michael Corinthos III, did you kill your step-mother?"

DUN!

April 29 2010

Mob Restaurant: Diane comes to visit Jason and Sonny with nothing new to report. She thinks the jury is working toward a guilty verdict.

Johnny continues to subvert the law by talking with Lisa about Claudia. Instead of calling the court, Lisa tries to reason with Johnny. He speaks the truth about Sonny thinking he's above the law and says if he's acquitted, Sonny will be proven right.

Michael tells Kristina that Dante knows he killed Claudia. He tells Kristina he's going to wait for the verdict. Kristina thinks Dante is easy to talk to and cool. Michael isn't sure. Alexis barges in and wants to know what Michael is doing there.

Claire thinks Dante is obstructing justice. Dante says he's been bending over backwards to do his job.

Carly is still trying to convince Olivia to help her find Michael. Carly: "I will owe you forever." Why don't you promise to be her best friend? Or you could always try, "Pretty please with sugar on top." Oh, she also says that helping her will help Dante. I can't wait to hear how.

Credits: Bets on if Matt will show up today?

So here's how: Carly thinks if Olivia finds Michael, she'll get him out of the country and that will take the pressure off Dante. Reaching there, Mrs. Jax.

Dante, like everyone else thinks Claire is only doing this for her career. Claire just wants to do her job. They argue again about putting Morgan on the stand. Claire turns it around asking why Dante doesn't just go work for his daddy. He accuses her of bending the law. He's interested in justice!

Diane thinks a hung jury would be great. Or a hung Max. Zing! She thinks the better option is that there's a hold-out on the jury. She leaves but not before telling them to keep their cells on because a verdict can come in at anytime. Jason tells Sonny about Michael's call.

Alexis tells Michael that his being there is putting her in a terrible position. She says she has to call the authorities. Kristina yells that she needs him there.

OY, now Carly is pulling the "this is your fault and you owe me" card, which means she's getting desperate. Olivia still won't help because she's smart enough not to fall for the 'Carly and Sonny blame everyone but themselves' thing. Jax comes in and wants to know what's going on. Carly tells him. Jax agrees with Carly and tries to convince Olivia. Olivia doesn't budge...but she leaves.

Johnny continues to be inappropriate. Lisa explains her job as a juror. She says what she should do is go to the judge. Get going, girl.

Jason explains what Michael will do depending on the verdict.

Kristina argues that there's no reason to turn Michael in since the jury is already in deliberation. Alexis thinks she's in too much trouble to be harboring a fugitive. Is fugitive the right word? Anyway, she starts dialing and tells Mac that Michael is in her living room....but Michael has left.

Is Wife Swap really still on?

Carly talks about how nice it was the other night playing board games together. Jax liked it too. She admits the cover-up was a mistake. She tells him that if Michael ends up suffering because of Jax, she won't be able to forgive him.

Johnny arrives home in his new penthouse -which he didn't redecorate-exhausted. Olivia comes to see him. She tells him about Carly. Johnny finally tells Olivia that it was Michael that killed Claudia and not Sonny. (I KNEW HE KNEW!!!) He still thinks that Sonny deserves what he gets for putting it all into motion.

At the courthouse, the Judge stops a rushing Lisa. She says she got caught up and the Judge wonders if he should be concerned. She tells him no and rushes off to the room. She apologizes for being late and AngryJuror tells her she can make it up to them by changing her vote.

Sonny wants Jason to leave it alone. Jason thinks Dante will turn Michael in if Sonny is acquitted. He doesn't understand the faith Sonny has in Dante.

Ronnie comes to visit Dante. Can anyone just walk into his apartment? Ronnie of course wants Dante to turn Michael in. Dante tells Ronnie that Michael killed Claudia. Ronnie thinks Dante should just keep quiet and let Sonny go to prison.

Johnny tells Olivia that Jason told him about who killed Claudia. He says he never blamed Michael. But he still blames Sonny.

Jason still doesn't know why Sonny trusts Dante. Blah blah blah. We get it, you don't like Dante. Tired old conversation.

Dante and Ronnie discuss the law and justice and Mr. Poletti and what Sonny deserves.

Claire comes to visit Jax. She tells him that Alexis saw Michael. She says that the Judge will allow her to put Michael on the stand but it doesn't really matter since she thinks the jury will give a guilty verdict.

Alice again explains what jurors do. AngryJuror again insults Lisa for being a hold-out. Alice again defends Lisa. But apparently Lisa has been convinced. She asks for another vote.

Lulu comes back to the loft. She brings work with her because Maxie is in Milan. She asks Dante if he's made any decisions about Michael. He's been thinking about Mr. Poletti and what he would do. He talks about baseball and little league and the Yankees of course - and it would make so much more sense if Dante was a Mets fan. It would further push him and Sonny apart. He goes on and on about how awesome Mr. Poletti is - and it's all really nice to hear.

Alice passes out the ballots telling Lisa that there's no reason for her to vote if she's not ready. Lisa makes an impassioned speech about what Sonny's intentions were when he swung that axe.

At the courthouse, Claire and Carly snark at each other. Claire and her beautiful hair color purposefully lets slip that Alexis called the police after seeing Michael.

Molly comes home to Kristina. Kristina tells Molly what happened with Michael and Alexis. She tells Molly where Michael is but makes her swear not to tell anyone. They leave to drive over to see him.

Michael stands at the boathouse flashbacking to when he (didn't) hit Claudia. They never show him and Claudia in the same frame so I'm assuming they didn't get her back just to refilm the scene. Morgan comes to see him. Michael tells him that Dante knows the truth now.

A cop tells Dante that he overheard the jury and thinks they're going to find Sonny guilty.

Sonny defends his delusions that he and Dante will one day be father and son. Diane calls Sonny and tells him to come to court and that the jury reached a verdict.

Morgan and Michael hide from a noise. When he realizes it's Molly and Kristina, he let's them in. Molly wonders if Michael will tell the truth. He says he will if the court finds Sonny guilty.

Claire and her noisy heels walk into court. Sonny watches Jax enter and approaches him. Sonny blah blah blahs. Diane brings him back to the defense table. He then sees Johnny and goes to antagonize him. The mayor comes in and tells him to go back to his seat.

Outside, Carly tells Jason about Michael being found by Alexis. Back inside, Diane tells Sonny to stop antagonizing people. All rise! Court is in session! The jury files in. Will Lisa's impassioned speech help? Has the jury reached a verdict? Alice is about to answer when Dante interrupts and says he has new evidence. Claire and Diane both object! The judge warns Dante. Dante announces to the whole court that Sonny didn't kill Claudia and that Michael did. Oy! Jax, Johnny, Carly and Jason all face-palm. Sonny looks disappointed and Claire just looks confused. DUN!

-end

April 12 2010

Sorry folks! Missed another two days... Been so busy. Oh, and a good friend of mine just had a screen test for All My Children! He...didn't get it, but I know he'll keep trying. Stay tuned! Good shows last week! So much to snark about and so much to be happy about. I hate that I didn't get a chance to recap! Oh well...here we go!

Alexis tells a stunned Mac that she's responsible for Kiefer's hit and run.

Ethan is yelling at both Maya and Kristina. And what pisses me off is he gets slack from Lucky. I think Ethan has a right to be upset and to yell at Kristina who is now accusing him of a different crime didn't commit. Enough is enough. Kristina is a victim of physical abuse and that sucks and all but what she did to Ethan and continues to do is inexcusable.

Also yelling? The whole court! "You're out of order, Mr. Falconeri", cries the judge! No you're out of order! This whole court is out of order!, cries Dante!

Credits. Still there, Matt?

Mac rushes Alexis into the interrogation room and tells her to think it through before she says something she regrets. But Alexis is ready to talk.

Ethan tries to explain to Lucky what a total cuntrag Kristina is being, but Maya and Lucky think Kristina is just a little girl who can't take it. I call Shenanigans! So does Ethan. Kristina admits she did lie. Doesn't matter, because Lucky gets Ethan to leave. Kristina's a victim! After Ethan leaves, Lucky calms Kristina down as Maya looks lustily on thinking 'oh my. he's so dreamy when he's sympathetic'.

Luke tells Tracy that he thinks Dante is at fault for Ethan getting beat up in prison. Tracy just thinks that Luke doesn't like Dante because he's a cop and dating his daughter. She does think he's wrong for Lulu but she doesn't think he had Ethan beaten up. Tracy comes up with another scenario: anger displacement....maybe he's really mad at Lucky. Tracy, when did you get your psychology license, girl?

Dante is still screaming at the court about the mishandling of Morgan. Diane is thrilled. The judge orders the bailiff to take Dante into custody.

Now Morgan gets upset that Dante is being taken away. Carly steps in and takes Morgan off the stand. The judge warns her but she yells that Morgan was taken out of school without her permission. The judge yields although warns her that Michael may be recalled. No one in this court room looks happy except for Diane.

Alexis has a sit-down with Mac. She bravely tells the entire truth to Mac who listens and interjects at appropriate interludes. Nancy Grahn does an amazing job. After she's done, Mac tells her he'll arrest her and let her go of her own recognizance. He instructs her to go out and get the best attorney she can and then she'll plead out and it will all be over. She cries that she doesn't know what's going to happen to her girls if she has to go to prison.

Kristina, who will now be known as DeadToMe tries to explain what happened. Lucky insists it's not her fault and sorta gets through to her about what kind of man Kiefer was. Maya, who's business it isn't, weighs in on the subject. Lucky tells her she'll get through it.

Ethan comes back to the Haunted Star all pissed and stuff. After some prompting, he tells Tracy and Luke about Lucky.

Ronnie brings Dante into the interrogation room and Dante just kinda acts like a dick. They talk about Morgan and argue. Dante's right when he says Ronnie shouldn't have manipulated Morgan but he goes way over the line when he compares Ronnie and Claire to Sonny. Ronnie gets pissed, and appropriately so, telling Dante that maybe he should just quit the force and join his "daddy" in the mob.

Lucky comes to the Haunted Star for 'round two'. He yells at Ethan again. Ethan yells back. Luke wants to butt in.

Alexis welcomes DeadToMe back to her room. DeadToMe tells Alexis about her therapy session. She doesn't like Dr. Winters. Alexis waxes which makes DeadToMe wonder what's wrong. She tells DeadToMe that she was the one who hit Kiefer. DeadToMe asks if she hit Kiefer on purpose.

Alexis and Claire are in the judge's chambers. They argue their cases. The judge reprimands them both. Claire gets a thousand dollar fine. He puts them on ethical notice. He threatens a mistrial.

At the PCPD, Sonny wants to see Dante. Ronnie snarks on him for a while. Sonny thinks that Ronnie is just scared. That he'll go to the dark side! I can't believe I haven't made the Darth Vader/Luke Skywalker reference before.

Back at the Jax home, Morgan worries about Dante. Carly thinks he'll be fine. Morgan tells Carly and Luke about what Ronnie did. Doorbell. It's Lulu. Morgan tells Lulu that Dante got arrested. Carly explains.

Sonny visits Dante in his cell. Dante tells him to get lost but Sonny stays cause....where can Dante go? Sonny is glad that Dante saw how the justice system works. Dante's not convinced that Sonny's way of life is better. Sonny says at least he's honest about it. What? First of all, no you're not. Secondly, I hate when people say "At least I'm honest about it" like it's some great excuse that makes everything OK. "I'm a bitch. But at least I'm honest about it." Yeah...but you're still a bitch. Sonny goes on... he actually suggests that Dante give up being a cop. Seriously, what a fucking turdball.

Jax gets on Claire's case about putting Morgan on the stand. Claire stands her ground. Jax thinks Claire needs to step down and goes on to threaten her. She makes the case, using examples from Jax's life like a good lawyer, why she needs to and is going to win.

Morgan worries to Carly and Jason that he messed up on the stand. They said he did fine. Morgan tells them that he wouldn't let the lawyer trick him into telling her that Michael killed Claudia. Jason goes off on Dante and Jax but Morgan loves everyone. Jason relents and says he just wants Morgan to have a good life. He wants Morgan to have more than a life breaking the law.

Lulu asks Ronnie if she can see Dante. He tells her that Sonny is with him now. They argue about Dante's intentions. Ronnie asks her to talk to Dante and make sure he's not crossing over to the dark side.

Sonny...*sigh*. His arguments just don't make any sense. Dante explains justice to Sonny like he's two years old. And that's what he needs.

Alexis tells DeadToMe that she doesn't remember if she did it on purpose or not. DeadToMe forgives her mom and knows she wouldn't do it on purpose. They hug. DeadToMe wonders what happens now.

Lucky is on the phone with Mac. After he gets off, he tells Luke and Ethan about Alexis. Ethan hates that everyone has him as an automatic number one suspect.

Alexis tells DeadToMe that she's already made a full confession; she was charged and released. DeadToMe is worried.

Kiefer or...RoadKill's mom comes to Mac to ask him who ran down RoadKill. After excusing her behavior, Mac names Alexis.

Lulu laughs at Dante in jail. They flirt; they banter. He tells her about Sonny's visit. Lulu tells Dante that Morgan is OK. Dante mentions something about Sonny being right about something but I choose to ignore it.

Lucky and Ethan argue like brothers. Now, Lucky wants Ethan to apologize to Kristina. He leaves. Luke gets pissed. He agrees that Ethan should apologize to Kristina but Kristina should apologize to him first. He adds, and Sonny...and Alexis...and the whole PCPD!

Alexis tries to change the subject. They talk about getting away. To France! Roadkill's mom comes in all snarky and on the offense.

Jax is home! Carly lays into him about Claire and what she did.

Lulu pep talks Dante. They flirt some more. Wouldn't it be great if this was the place they finally did it?

Restaurant. Sonny comes in and tells Jason that Morgan might be recalled. Sonny, "If Claire was a man, I'd arrange to have him have an accident." Because he has morals! And anyway, didn't he kill Faith? And I have no doubt he would have killed Claudia if Michael hadn't. Jason thinks it's a bad idea since she's a fed. On cue, Claire walks in. She jokes that they're all serious and wonders if they're plotting her death. She's there to offer Sonny a deal. Shouldn't she be talking to his lawyer?

-end

April 7 2010

Boy, it's a hot day in New York today. I think it hit 90. I bet things are hot in Port Charles too. Sorry I missed yesterday's recap. I was busy...putting together a desk. At least trying to. It's not done yet. I may miss tomorrow's too. But yesterday was awesome. Great performances by Kristina and Alexis. Awesome performance by Dante. I loved his speech at Sonny. Loved Alexis' guilt. Ethan has finally been exonerated but for fuck's sake - now he's going to be accused of mowing down Kiefer?? And Kiefer? Dead. Let's get started with today's episode!

Sam tells Jason that she is worried that Kirstina is going to think that someone ran down Kiefer on purpose. They did!

Lucky asks Ethan what happened to his car. Ethan says he thinks he hit a deer. Lucky tells Ethan that if there's anything to know, than he needs to know now.

Molly tells Kristina about Kiefer's accident. Kristina wants to know how bad it is. Molly tells her that it's critical.

A guilt-ridden Alexis overhears Steven telling the Bauers to take as much time as they need. The Bauers mourn their dead abusive son. Mom Bauer sees Alexis and says it's all her fault. She don't know the half of it!

Credits: I do more work than Jason Cook. Can I have his salary?

At the elevator, Olivia gets defensive with Dante before he has a chance to speak. But he doesn't want to talk about that. He wants to talk about his tree house. What? Apparently she not only protected him from Sonny, but from a tree house as well. He apologizes for being mad at her for protecting him.

Sam is happy that Jason had nothing to do with Kiefer's "accident". But she's upset that she couldn't see the truth. Jason doesn't say 'I told you so' because he wants to get into her pants sometime in the future.

Kristina thinks Sonny ordered Jason to hit Kiefer. Molly doesn't think it's Jason's M.O. Kristina is still making excuses for Kiefer. Molly still thinks it was an accident.

Mommy Bauer yells at Alexis. She 'knows' her son. "My son is good. My son is kind." Obviously, you don't know your son. Alexis flashbacks to the 'accident''. Daddy Bauer tells Alexis to go. Alexis gets that cute red nose thing when she's upset.

Ethan's car has been towed. He's upset and wants his car back. Lucky says there's nothing to worry about; they'll check his car and if he's innocent, he'll get his car back.

Dante and Olivia have a sit down. Dante tells Olivia that he punched Sonny. Dante lists all the things Sonny has done wrong to his kids. I'm dreading the day that Dante forgives and tries to get to know Sonny. I know it will happen eventually but I'm enjoying the Sonny-hate while it lasts. Dante and his mom reconcile.

Alexis tells Sam and Jason that Kiefer didn't make it. Sam says she'll help Alexis tell Kristina.

Kristina wants to get out of bed to see Kiefer. Molly thinks its her fault that she pushed Kristina towards Kiefer. Kristina again tries to defend Kiefer. UGH...it's kinda icky. Enter Alexis and Sam. Kristina wants to know if Kiefer is OK. Sam breaks the news. Alexis holds her sobbing daughter. It really is kinda heart-breaking and icky all at the same time.

Car shop - Johnny talks to a thug about Sonny. After some hard-ball, Thug agrees to work with Johnny. Olivia interrupts. Johnny excuses Thug named Eddie. After he leaves, Olivia tells Johnny that she "got [her] son back". And Stella? Got her groove back.

Jason tells Dante that Kiefer is dead. Dante asks Jason how he does what he does. They talk about protection and loyalty. They disagree on the definitions of those words.

Ethan tells Lucky that he thought he was being followed. Lucky grabs his ringing cellphone. Out of earshot of Lucky, Luke asks Ethan if he's telling the truth. Ethan admits he's making it up because he can't exactly tell Lucky what he was really doing. Lucky comes back and tells them the phone call was from Mac: He tells them that Kiefer is dead which means this is a homicide.

Daddy Bauer gives a press conference about his son with Mommy Bauer at his side. Alexis watches from the doorway. He's giving a reward to anyone who can help with whoever mowed his dead abusive son down. Mac pulls Alexis aside and asks for her statement. She tells him: "A boy I encouraged to take out my daughter was secretly abusing her. And now he's dead. And I'm the one who..." Mac: "One who what?" Exactly.

Alexis feels guilty over not seeing what was happening with Kiefer and Kristina. Mac can empathize. He talks about Georgie. Alexis talks about Kiefer's mother and how much she's grieving. She says she hates Kiefer for what he did but didn't want him dead. Then you shouldn't have run him down, Alexis.

Lulu comes to visit a sulking Dante. They flirt a bit. He tells Lulu about how lucky he is to have his mom.

Johnny and Olivia have a drink in honor of her reconciliation with her son. They plan a romantic night.

Molly has all these feelings! She hates Kiefer! But she liked him before! And now he's dead! Sam tells Alexis that she'll take Molly home. Molly cries and hugs her sister. Before Sam leaves, Kristina asks her to get Jason.

Kristina asks Jason if he or Sonny killed Kiefer. Jason says he had nothing to do with the accident. She whines a bit about needing a listener. Jason flexes his butt.

Mac calls Lucky again. Lucky has to arrest Ethan again. He breaks the news to Ethan.

Olivia jokes that Johnny is taking a long time with his cars and that people might suspect that his place is a cover. Johnny got a pizza! MMMM, pizza. Johnny suggests moving in together.

Dante questions his mother's taste in men. Lulu likes that she went from a bad boy to a good boy without having to change men. Dante's also worried about his sibs. He changes the subject and the non-sexually-active lovebirds flirt again...until Dante talks about his mom again. Buzzkill! He also says that his mom could have taken the easy way out when she got pregnant with him and had an abortion. Apparently he doesn't know that Lulu had one. RUT ROH!

Olivia thinks she and Johnny have a good thing and shouldn't ruin it by moving in together. Except she says it more subtly than that. He tells her to think about it. They make out by candle-light.

Dante tells Lulu that Olivia "could have been selfish" by aborting him. Ohhh....I sense this ending badly. Open mouth, Falconeri, insert foot. Lulu gets uncomfortable. She tries to leave and makes excuses for doing so. Lulu flashes back to a chat with her dad about having an abortion.

At the PCPD, Luke yells at Mac while Lucky brings Ethan in. Mac yells back.

Jason comforts Kristina. She mourns her dead abusive lover.

In the hallway, Alexis asks Steven to give her daughter drugs. He gets paged and leaves. Alexis sees on the news that Ethan has been arrested.

-end

April 5 2010

Morgan, Dante and Sonny will be unhappy to know that the Yankees lost their first game of the season. Whoo hoo! Of course, they film about a month in advance, so I'm sure it won't be mentioned. The Mets? So far winning their first game of the season. Suck it, Corinthos.

We begin with Maxie doing her fake cough in front of the judge at GH. The bailiff brings her a bottle of water. Claire doesn't buy Maxie's sick routine but Maxie milks it for all it's worth. The judge wants to get out of there and Maxie says she doesn't remember the question. Claire says she's not surprised because she asked so long ago. Yeah, it feels like two days! Claire asks again if Michael was in the car. Maxie paddles around in a pool of ramblings and doesn't really answer the question. Claire asks one more time. Maxie? Coughs.

Why is Sonny not listening to this testimony? Sonny and Carly don't believe in Maxie. Jason thinks Maxie will do fine and only acts ditzy. He tells Sonny that if he really thinks Maxie is going to incriminate him, than he needs to get out of the country. ASAP!

Michael packs a bag and attempts to leave when Max stops him. How many times can we see this happen?

Alexis finds a bleeding Kristina and cries more than Kristina does. She asks if Kiefer did this.

Credits

Good Cop/Bad Cop drive. Dante wants to talk to Kristina again. They agree that they need proof or a confession from Kristina.

Alexis takes an apologizing and bleeding Kristina out of the Lake House.

Michael brown noses Max. He tries to reason with Max that he's not a kid and that Sonny will die in prison. Max tries to convince Michael that Diane and Sonny will pull off an acquittal.

Maxie finally answers that she doesn't know if anyone else was in the car. Claire asks a different way but Diane objects. Sustained! Claire asks about Spinelli. They get snarky with each other and it's kind of funny and totally unprofessional.

Sonny doesn't want to leave the country. He thinks they can still pull of an acquittal. Carly thinks he wants to stay because of Dante. I think it's because Maurice Benard wants to keep his day job.

Sonny says he wants to stay for Michael and Morgan. Carly disagrees. She wants him to "smell the coffee". Jason goes off to GH to check on Maxie. Carly thinks Jason left because he leaves whenever Sonny talks about Dante. Carly tries to get it into Sonny's head that Dante will never love him.

Maya introduces herself to Epiphany as the new intern. Epiphany is happy to see another black person in Port Charles. Steven comes by and introduces himself to Maya. Edward interrupts basically not-so-subtly requesting special treatment for his granddaughter. Maya tells Steven that she doesn't want or expect special treatment. Edward: "What good is money if you can't use it to buy influence?" Hee. Maya argues. Steven says that Maya got into the program by her merits, not her family and won't be getting any special treatment.

Ethan is at the Quartermaine's stealing an egg. A Faberge egg...not an egg from a chicken. Because that would be ridiculous. Skye walks in. She wonders why she's there. Skye looks fabulous in magenta. He wonders why she's so hostile and she says it's because he's a pig who beats up on teenage girls.

Dante and Lucky, guns drawn, enter the Lake house because things look amiss with the doors open. After checking out the place, they realize it's empty. Dante finds some blood on the floor. Lucky calls Ethan.

Alexis drives and cries. Kristina is unconscious in the back. Alexis remembers Keifer running passed her. She sees Keifer on the road and runs him down. Oh my God!!! Well if he's dead, I'm glad it was Alexis and not Sonny who killed him.

Dante tried to reach Alexis and Kiefer, neither of which answered. Lucky couldn't get ahold of Ethan either. They wait for forensics.

Epiphany catches Spinelli waiting for Maxie. She sasses. He sasses back. She warns him to stay out of the way. The court files out and Spinelli rolls in. Maxie tells Spinelli that Jason owes her big time. Jason, overhearing, comes in and says "I know."

Sonny and Carly argue about Dante. Sonny thinks Carly is the key to his acquittal.

Maya drags Edward away to chide him for being a total dick. She goes back to Steven who accepts her with open arms.
Alexis comes in with Kristina who hands her over to Steven. Maya hears Steven mention Ethan's name.

Ethan sits with Skye. He explains his history with Kristina. He calmly explains everything and Skye seems to be listening without judgement. She apologizes for jumping the gun and then says she understands why Kristina would lash out, talking smack about her parents.

At the Lake House, the forensic team is doing their job. Lucky gets a call from the hospital and tells Dante and the crew that Kristina was brought in. Dante gets all big-brother-pissed-off. He tells Lucky he'll go to the hospital. Lucky wants to track Ethan down.

Maxie tells Jason about her testimony. Spinelli and Jason are proud.

Sonny and Carly Zxzxxxxxxxxx. Sorry. Fell asleep for a second. So, Sonny and Carly dasjisdoas;asd. Wow, hit the keyboard that time. They're interrupted (thank God!) by Diane who tells Sonny and Carly about Maxie's testimony. Sonny gets a call from Alexis.

Spinelli and Maxie are thankful for Jason's gratitude. Maxie wants to know why she perjured herself, but she's realized by herself that Michael killed Claudia. Spinelli tells her everything.

Michael and Max argue some more. He still feels guilty about killing Claudia.

At the hospital, Alexis tells Sonny what happened. She doesn't want Sonny to go in because, "You scare her sometimes." Fair enough. Sonny waits outside while Alexis goes in. Steven thinks there might be a concussion. Kristina cries and apologizes some more. Sonny tells Jason that Ethan has to die.

Diane shares some wine with Carly. Carly tells Diane that she thinks Ethan is innocent and Kiefer is the guilty party.

At the hospital, Sonny greets Dante. He tells Dante to go in and look at Kristina and then tell him it was a good idea to drop the charges on Ethan. Dick. Dante talks to Kristina. Kristina blames herself. Dante comforts her. Steven: No broken bones but he wants to keep her overnight. Dante asks Kristina what happened.

At the Q house, Ethan is still collecting valuables. Maya interrupts. Worst. Burglar. Ever. She tells him about Kristina.

Jason sees Lucky at the Haunted Star. Lucky tells him that Ethan is no where to be found. Jason tells him that Ethan should be running. Lucky: "Did Sonny order you to kill him?" Jason: "I'm not going to answer that". Lucky pleads that Ethan didn't do it. Jason needs proof.

Sonny listens to Kristina and Dante talking. Dante brings up Keifer. He asks her again who did it. She finally admits it was Keifer.

Kiefer? Not dead...and slowly waking up on the ground.

Mets? Still winning. Suck it, Corinthos.

-end

April 2 2010

Dante and Lucky continue their good cop/bad cop routine with Keifer. It's so obvious, yet so totally cute. Lucky gets into it but Keifer remains silent.

Alexis and Kristina talk about mundane things like SATs and college. If Kristina remains a popular character, she'll be going to PCU. Sorry, Alexis. Alexis brings up self-defense classes. Can't Sam teach her self-defense? I mean, she had that TV show. Alexis breaks the news that the police may continue to investigate. Kristina thinks her mom lied to her.

Carly is worried about Sonny's trial. She and Jason are both worried that Michael will still confess.

At court, Robin is still on the stand. Claire reiterates Robin's testimony. She asks if Sonny mentioned the baby that night. After some nudging, Robin quotes Sonny, "Thank God that baby wasn't born into our lives" and "Thank God, you'll never bore my child". Don't worry, he'll make more.

Credits: Did anyone else's credits do this weird thing where the music just got a decibel louder half way through?

Jax and Skye reunite at the Haunted Star. Tracy and Luke watch as Jax explains his separation and tells Skye about his daughter. Luke thinks that Tracy inviting Jax over was low.

Kiefer tries to dig himself out of the hole but ends up sounding more like an asshole. Lucky point blank tells him he left the party early and went to beat up Kristina. Keifer calmly tells them that that's now what happened. He begins to slip up as he remembers what really happened. Dante and Lucky work it cheesily but hey, it's working.

Kristina is pissed at Alexis. who tries to calm her down. She let's Kristina know that Luke wanted to pursue it because he believes Ethan is innocent and he has that right. Kristina sorta understands but she still doesn't like being kept in the dark. She's awfully judgmental of lying consider she's a big ol' liar herself.

Carly and Jason talk about Sonny jumping bail and going to South America. Jason thinks Michael should go with him but Carly doesn't want Michael going. Jason says that if he doesn't, then Claire will bring Michael back and question him. They agree that there are no 'good' options.

Claire again goes over the testimony instead of asking new questions. Diane and the judge pretty much ask her to move it along. She asks Robin when Claudia took Carly hostage. Robin answers it was when Sonny sent his bodyguards after Claudia to take her home. Claire gets Robin to compare the size of her bodyguards to the size of Claudia. She also makes it seem like Claudia was like a trapped animal. Before Robin can save her testimony, Claire cuts her off and says she's done with the witness. Diane couner-cross examines. Before she begins, she makes note that Sonny's primary bodyguard is "237 pounds dripping wet." Hee. And she should know! Robin explains why Sonny was so furious that night. Objection! Overruled! She goes on to praise Sonny. There are a lot of objections and sustains and overruled and people talking over each other until Diane asks Robin if she's known Sonny to ever be abusive to a woman.

Diane repeats the question. Robin questions if abuse is more than just physical but finally says she's never seen Sonny hit a woman. Does it count that he shot his ex-wife in the head while she was in labor with Morgan? Robin? Dismissed. Patrick follows her out. She's upset because she thinks she hurt Sonny with her testimony. Who's up next? Maxie Jones.

But Maxie is still in the hospital. She and Lulu are talking work. Spinelli is there too. She seems to be doing better.

Michael is bored on the island. He can't get internet, phone..etc. Max tells Michael that he heard from Diane. He lies that the trial is going well.

Jason thinks that Robin's testimony might help but Carly thinks Robin is too honest. Hee.

Kiefer gets mad until he finally realizes the obvious: That Lucky and Dante are playing him. He walks off but not before Dante warns him to stay away from Kristina. Lucky and Dante both now believe without a shadow of a doubt that Kiefer is the attacker. Dante vows to get Keifer. He refers to Kristina as his sister, often. Although he's not accepting Sonny yet, he seems to really be accepting the rest of his newfound family, which I really like.

Back at the Haunted Star, Luke sulks and Tracy calls him on it. They joke and banter. Luke moans about his kids but is happy to have Tracy by his side.

Jax and Skye drink at the Metro-Court. They're interrupted by someone named Warren, a handsome older gentleman who I didn't recognize at first as Keifer's father. After introducing Warren to Skye, they talk shop for a few seconds. Warren excuses himself. Jax tells Skye about Kristina. Over at the bar, Warren talks tensely on the phone before he's interrupted by Kiefer. Kiefer tells his dad what happened at Kelly's.

Maxie, Spinelli and Lulu talk about useless things until Epiphany comes in with a guy holding a summons. He basically throws it at her. She responds by having a (fake?) coughing fit.

Diane tells the judge that Maxie is at the hospital and cannot testify. Claire claims that Diane is trying to block the testimony.
Outside the courtroom, Patrick tries to cheer up Robin although she knows that he still wants Sonny in jail.
Back inside, the judge calls a recess to find out if Maxie is well enough to testify. He warns everyone not to leave the building.
Sonny walks outside the courtroom to find an apologetic Robin. She hugs him and tells him that she's sorry.

Maxie fixes her make-up to make it look paler and sicker. She asks Spinelli to go out and find a way to fix the machines to make it seem like she had a relapse. He leaves. Lulu wants to know why Maxie doesn't want to testify. She thinks that Maxie should tell the court what she saw. Maxie thinks ruining Sonny's life will ruin Jason's and by default, Spinelli's. She also thinks that Lulu's Sonny-hate will affect Dante. Lulu says that Dante's hate for Sonny is just as bad as hers but Maxie doesn't think so.

Back at the Metro-Court, Jax talks about his Carly woes.
At the bar, Kiefer and his dad talk about the case. Kiefer is worried. Warren thinks Kiefer should never have gotten involved with Kristina. He encourages Kiefer to talk to Kristina. It looks like he has some experience in these situations.

Lucky and Dante see Luke at the Haunted Star. They tell him that they're close to solving the case.

Michael somehow got a hold of a phone and calls Kristina. She tells him that the trial is going terribly and about Sonny going crazy in the courtroom. Even though Kristina knows that Michael killed Claudia, she still thinks her dad is guilty.

Sonny comforts Robin and tells her that she has nothing to be sorry about. Robin is still upset about her testimony. The judge has come to a decision: "If Miss. Jones can't come to court. Court will go to her." Field trip!

Sonny tells Jason and Carly about Robin's testimony back at his office. Carly thinks Robin should have lied. Sonny tells them that the next witness is Maxie.

Epiphany warns Maxie and Spinelli not to fuck with the machines. After Epiphany is gone, Maxie gets nervous. Spinelli reassures her. Epiphany comes in with a wheelchair for Maxie.

Alexis visits the Haunted Star. He tells her that he has news and that Ethan will be exonerated. Alexis still thinks Ethan is the attacker and hopes that she and Luke can get passed this.

Kiefer visits Kristina and she stupidly tells him that she's alone. Kiefer anxiously barges in and asks Kristina for help and then freaks out when she asks why. He wants her to reinstate the charges and stick to her story. She says that Dante and Lucky will figure it out and he freaks out some more and says they already have. Kristina finally comes to her senses but at the worst possible moment realizing she never should have blamed Ethan for something that Kiefer did. And that did it. Kiefer smacks her and she falls to the couch.

Sonny and Carly are worried about Maxie's testimony but Jason isn't.

At the hospital, the judge and council are set up with cameras so that the jury can see. Maxie fakes a coughing fit and Diane tells the judge that Maxie is too sick to do this. The judge warns Maxie of faking. Maxie swears to tell the truth...etc. Claire asks Maxie what she saw the night Claudia was murdered. Maxie begins to tell the tale of the koi pond. Claire finds it hard to believe that she was meeting a poolman at 3am. Diane snarks that Claire knows nothing about Kate, "although that's been obvious from the beginning." Zing! Maxie continues to tell what she saw. Claire states that Sonny was driving Michael's car. Maxie finally admits that it was. Claire asks if Michael was in the car with Sonny.

Michael gets his backpack out and sees the shirt he was wearing the night he killed Claudia. He flashbacks to swinging the axe.

Dante and Lucky interrupt Keifer's parents eating dinner at the Metro-Court. Warren objects. Lucky tells them that they're trying to establish a timeline. Warren again objects to the "misleading statements of a teenage girl."

Kristina is unconscious and bleeding on the lake house floor as Keifer yells at her. He runs off knocking into Alexis as he goes. Alexis finds her unconscious daughter.

-end