June 10 2010

Ok, so I've been really crappy lately. I've missed almost two weeks. I'll try to be better, I promise :)

So Luke and Tracy are still in their little dungeon cell and I don't see a toilet anywhere. Luke screams for Helena. He does everything from yelling Fire! to screaming that Tracy died to threatening Helena's life if his wife dies. Tracy awakens and gives Luke the bad news (spoiler!) that she remembers their wedding.

Brook Lynn makes up some stupid story about the cable guy to show why she's a big naked slut in front of Dante's door. She ends with, "I need you, Dante. I need you bad". (-ly) And no one in the audience is fooled into thinking that she means what we're supposed to think she means.

Carly pretends she's not mad at Lulu anymore but Sonny sees right through it.

Michael wants to know what Jason is going to do to Prisoner McRapist. And it's still unclear if Prisoner McRapist has lived up to his name.

Credits: It's a Matt/Epiphany day.

Kristina shows Molly some photos she took of the harbor to send to Michael so "he won't feel trapped". Or it may make him feel even more trapped seeing what he can't have. Molly compares Michael to some guy in a novel she's reading...blah blah blah. When she describes the 1920s cliche part of the book where someone gets slapped and then passionately kissed, Kristina gets all wiggy. Then Molly gets all wiggy and apologizes. She runs off and Kristina goes to answer the door: it's Skye.

Ethan visits Johnny and complains about losing money. Johnny tells him where he can get more money. Something about mob money/meeting...whatever. I'm bored. I don't want the head of Sonny Corinthos being cut off only to have Johnny's sprout in it's place. They joke about car bombs which makes Ethan all wiggy (that's three!) until Johnny lures him back with the prospect of gaining ten grand. Also? This guy they're seeing knows and respects Luke.

You know who's the last person you want walking in when you're hot neighbor is wet in a towel in your apartment? Your girlfriend. Lulu overhears sex talk, but it's really lock talk. And Brook is dressed in a Dante-sized shirt.

Carly continues to try to explain why she's not mad at Lulu even though she is. Sonny doesn't buy it. Carly wonders aloud if Michael would be in prison if he'd grown up a Quartermaine with AJ. Probably. But for different reasons. Sonny's offended, of course. Because AJ was an alcoholic which is so much better than being a mobster. /sarcasm.

Michael doesn't want Jason to kill Prisoner McRapist. Jason only knows the rules of the mob which apparently are the same rules of the prison. They argue. Michael makes some sense and seems to be getting through to Jason.

Tracy describes what she remembers from their wedding.

Maxie cut her hair like a boy. She actually looks kinda cute. Matt asks her to wait while he finishes up and seems happy to see her. Meanwhile Steve and Lisa talk plans while Patrick listens and grows more jealous. Patrick says he wants to go back to plan A where Lisa buys him dinner and Steve realizes he's been intruding. Maxie watches all of this with extreme interest. Lisa makes the decision that lunch will involve the three of them and leaves. Patrick gets snippy with someone on the phone and Maxie comes over to give her opinion. She wants to know why he's so jealous of someone who's not his girlfriend.

Lulu interrupts the picking a lock thing. Dante continues to struggle (bad cop) while Brook finally explains the stupid cable guy story. He finally gets her in and Lulu gets a little suspicious.

Kristina describes to Skye how hard it's been for her. Skye spits out platitudes.

Carly continues the lie (truth?) that she never should have married Sonny. She says that she, Sonny and Jason are all to blame for where Michael is....but says the person who turned him in was Dante. They argue for a bit more until Carly leaves.

Luke tries to keep Tracy conscious by talking about their vows. He wants to renew their vows. Tracy worries that since Luke is being so loving and romantic that she must be worse than she thought.

Ethan and Johnny play cards and gamble and drink. Johnny calls that guy Lopez.

Kristina visits Michael in jail. They talk about their dad. Michael wants Kristina to give Sonny another chance.

Sonny visits Jason. Is there really no limit to how many visitors someone can get? He asks her about Carly and what's up. Jason keeps mum.

Tracy wants to know why he wants to renew their vows. She says it's something she should remember since she doesn't remember the first time. Luke gets down on one knee and says some sweet vows. I won't transpose but you can tell that it comes from his heart. Tracy starts hers and it's just as sweet. She starts to cough worse.

Patrick defends himself to Maxie who chides him for replacing Robin because he's someone who constantly needs female affection. Matt interrupts and takes his date away. Lisa and Steve come back and Lisa tells Patrick that he was right and they should all study the investment on their own and she'll have dinner with Steve...alone.

Lulu picks up a baseball bat while telling Dante that she has the rest of the day off. But Dante has a meeting with a lawyer about Michael's appeal.

Michael continues to defend their dad but Kristina argues the other side.

Jason and Sonny talk about Carly further. And...boy did I pick the wrong episode to come back on.

Patrick curiously asks Lisa about her involvement with Steve. He doesn't think Steve's her type. She says her tastes have changed.
Matt assures Maxie that Patrick is "crazy in love with Robin". She thinks he's oblivious and that 'players' always cheat. Matt says she should know since she's the one that's cheating.

Skye approaches Ethan about Kristina. She's concerned and wants Ethan to befriend Kristina.

Kristina comes home in a huff and Molly thinks it's about her. Kristina tells her that she's mad at Sonny for Michael's sake. She's mad and will stay mad!!!

In his cell, Michael talks with Jason about Kristina. The guard calls Jason out of his cell while Prisoner McRapist lurks and watches Michael. Remember that tension between Dante and Lulu before they had sex...and they kept getting interrupted and stuff? It's kinda like that. Only creepy.

Luke frets over a dying Tracy. In his fretting, he accidentally let's slip that their Vegas wedding was fake. This wakes Tracy up. Rut Roh!

Brook brings back Dante's shirt, washed and ironed. Lulu begins to lay down the law while Dante eavesdrops.

Johnny's on the phone, happy about the Lopez shipment. Carly comes to visit him with a present. She really spreads that wealth around. I need get to Port Charles soon. She asks Johnny if he and Dante are on good terms.

Kristina comes to the Corinthos mansion to tell her father that she and Michael were talking about him. Kristina insists she knows the truth that Sonny is abusive.

Prisoner McRapist walks into Michael's cell. Michael prepares his karate kid stance. McR informs Michael that the guard owes him favors. Michael starts to fight but he doesn't have to since Jason opens the cell door.

-end

May 5 2010

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

Lulu and Dante lay on the couch talking about their day. They go from talking about Michael to talking about pizza.

Skye joins Jax at the metro-court bar. He's drinking and commiserating.

Michael cries in jail. Best way to get raped, Michael. Jason visits. He finally wants to listen to Michael instead of telling him what to do. A bit late, Jason.

Credits: Maybe Matt can do something really bad and be Michael's cell mate. Then he'd get some airtime.

Dante surprises Lulu with cheese. Dante wants to make some Italian dish. Because he's Italian. And all Italian's cook.

Michael tells Jason how Dante helped him. I roll my eyes as he talks about Sonny and his claustrophobia. Yeah, it's a good thing the big ol' mobster didn't get thrown in there. Jason wants Michael to think about whales. So he can sleep. Yeah, I don't know.

Skye and Jax talk about Michael's woes and babies and cover-ups and truth.

Olivia hugs Johnny as he thinks about his sister. Wait... He talks about what a dick his dad was and how Claudia protected him by punching a guard in the nose. Wasn't it shown that Claudia was a shy wall-flower as a child?

Dante teaches Lulu had to dice gross tomatoes. They talk about recipes and people who want to poison them. Lulu worries that Jason will come after Dante.

Johnny pours some wine as Olivia buttons her blouse. Did we miss them have sex? Olivia wants to go - I guess we did. They argue about Johnny's life choices. Johnny just wants Olivia to spend the night.

Jax tells Skye about Claire. She doesn't understand why Dante turned Michael in. Jax feels bad that he couldn't protect Michael.

Robin(!) puts Emma to bed when there's a knock at the door. It's Jason.

Oops! Lulu cut her finger, so Dante puts a band-aid around it. He pours wine. This is a pretty mellow episode as compared to the last few. They cheers each other.

Jax wants to salvage his marriage. I like that Jax is so friendly with all his exes. Skye encourages Jax to work on his marriage and stop wasting his time on Sonny.

Jason hates that he brought Michael into his life and Sonny's. Robin remembers that Jason gave everything to Michael. Does she also remember how she told AJ he was Michael's father?

In his cell, Michael remembers Jason's words as he tries to shut everything out so he can sleep.

Johnny and Olivia cuddle. He jokes about leaving the business. He wants to know if she would move in with him if he changed.

Lulu and Dante are finished with dinner. They talk about how they both got yelled at by Carly.

Jason says he came to Robin to apologize to her. He says she was right to tell AJ that he was Michael's father. Robin thinks that Michael may not have been better off with the Quartermaines.

Johnny and Olivia talk about more stuff I don't care about. Time for sex.

Lulu and Dante....seriously, are there no story lines left now that Michael is in jail? Lulu says she has to leave to go to work. Dante asks her to stay. He wants her to spend the night. She does. Time for sex. Part II.

Patrick comes home to Robin who is going through baby pictures of Michael. She tells him about Jason. Time for sex part III?

Jason comes home to Sam who has too much chinese food! He tells her about Michael.

Jax visits Michael. Geez - how long are visiting hours? Jax tells him that he's sorry.

Robin talks more about Jason. Patrick tells Robin that she turned him on to love and he can't understand what it was like for her to lose Stone. Well of course Robin was your first love - you can't have great loves until you arrive in Port Charles.

Sam tries to cheer up Jason. Oh GOD, I'm so freaking bored.

Michael tells Jax he has nothing to feel sorry for. He understands why Jax wanted to protect Michael from Sonny's life. He wants that for Morgan but thinks it's too late for him. He says he can take care of himself. Yeah? Why don't you get a cellmate. And then start crying again.

Dante lights candles which is the unequivocal beginning of sex. And so it begins... Lulu thinks they're going to be interrupted but he says he unplugged the phone and jokes(?) that he threw the cell phones out the window. I hope it's worth it, kids. And they finally do it.

-end

April 2 2010

Dante and Lucky continue their good cop/bad cop routine with Keifer. It's so obvious, yet so totally cute. Lucky gets into it but Keifer remains silent.

Alexis and Kristina talk about mundane things like SATs and college. If Kristina remains a popular character, she'll be going to PCU. Sorry, Alexis. Alexis brings up self-defense classes. Can't Sam teach her self-defense? I mean, she had that TV show. Alexis breaks the news that the police may continue to investigate. Kristina thinks her mom lied to her.

Carly is worried about Sonny's trial. She and Jason are both worried that Michael will still confess.

At court, Robin is still on the stand. Claire reiterates Robin's testimony. She asks if Sonny mentioned the baby that night. After some nudging, Robin quotes Sonny, "Thank God that baby wasn't born into our lives" and "Thank God, you'll never bore my child". Don't worry, he'll make more.

Credits: Did anyone else's credits do this weird thing where the music just got a decibel louder half way through?

Jax and Skye reunite at the Haunted Star. Tracy and Luke watch as Jax explains his separation and tells Skye about his daughter. Luke thinks that Tracy inviting Jax over was low.

Kiefer tries to dig himself out of the hole but ends up sounding more like an asshole. Lucky point blank tells him he left the party early and went to beat up Kristina. Keifer calmly tells them that that's now what happened. He begins to slip up as he remembers what really happened. Dante and Lucky work it cheesily but hey, it's working.

Kristina is pissed at Alexis. who tries to calm her down. She let's Kristina know that Luke wanted to pursue it because he believes Ethan is innocent and he has that right. Kristina sorta understands but she still doesn't like being kept in the dark. She's awfully judgmental of lying consider she's a big ol' liar herself.

Carly and Jason talk about Sonny jumping bail and going to South America. Jason thinks Michael should go with him but Carly doesn't want Michael going. Jason says that if he doesn't, then Claire will bring Michael back and question him. They agree that there are no 'good' options.

Claire again goes over the testimony instead of asking new questions. Diane and the judge pretty much ask her to move it along. She asks Robin when Claudia took Carly hostage. Robin answers it was when Sonny sent his bodyguards after Claudia to take her home. Claire gets Robin to compare the size of her bodyguards to the size of Claudia. She also makes it seem like Claudia was like a trapped animal. Before Robin can save her testimony, Claire cuts her off and says she's done with the witness. Diane couner-cross examines. Before she begins, she makes note that Sonny's primary bodyguard is "237 pounds dripping wet." Hee. And she should know! Robin explains why Sonny was so furious that night. Objection! Overruled! She goes on to praise Sonny. There are a lot of objections and sustains and overruled and people talking over each other until Diane asks Robin if she's known Sonny to ever be abusive to a woman.

Diane repeats the question. Robin questions if abuse is more than just physical but finally says she's never seen Sonny hit a woman. Does it count that he shot his ex-wife in the head while she was in labor with Morgan? Robin? Dismissed. Patrick follows her out. She's upset because she thinks she hurt Sonny with her testimony. Who's up next? Maxie Jones.

But Maxie is still in the hospital. She and Lulu are talking work. Spinelli is there too. She seems to be doing better.

Michael is bored on the island. He can't get internet, phone..etc. Max tells Michael that he heard from Diane. He lies that the trial is going well.

Jason thinks that Robin's testimony might help but Carly thinks Robin is too honest. Hee.

Kiefer gets mad until he finally realizes the obvious: That Lucky and Dante are playing him. He walks off but not before Dante warns him to stay away from Kristina. Lucky and Dante both now believe without a shadow of a doubt that Kiefer is the attacker. Dante vows to get Keifer. He refers to Kristina as his sister, often. Although he's not accepting Sonny yet, he seems to really be accepting the rest of his newfound family, which I really like.

Back at the Haunted Star, Luke sulks and Tracy calls him on it. They joke and banter. Luke moans about his kids but is happy to have Tracy by his side.

Jax and Skye drink at the Metro-Court. They're interrupted by someone named Warren, a handsome older gentleman who I didn't recognize at first as Keifer's father. After introducing Warren to Skye, they talk shop for a few seconds. Warren excuses himself. Jax tells Skye about Kristina. Over at the bar, Warren talks tensely on the phone before he's interrupted by Kiefer. Kiefer tells his dad what happened at Kelly's.

Maxie, Spinelli and Lulu talk about useless things until Epiphany comes in with a guy holding a summons. He basically throws it at her. She responds by having a (fake?) coughing fit.

Diane tells the judge that Maxie is at the hospital and cannot testify. Claire claims that Diane is trying to block the testimony.
Outside the courtroom, Patrick tries to cheer up Robin although she knows that he still wants Sonny in jail.
Back inside, the judge calls a recess to find out if Maxie is well enough to testify. He warns everyone not to leave the building.
Sonny walks outside the courtroom to find an apologetic Robin. She hugs him and tells him that she's sorry.

Maxie fixes her make-up to make it look paler and sicker. She asks Spinelli to go out and find a way to fix the machines to make it seem like she had a relapse. He leaves. Lulu wants to know why Maxie doesn't want to testify. She thinks that Maxie should tell the court what she saw. Maxie thinks ruining Sonny's life will ruin Jason's and by default, Spinelli's. She also thinks that Lulu's Sonny-hate will affect Dante. Lulu says that Dante's hate for Sonny is just as bad as hers but Maxie doesn't think so.

Back at the Metro-Court, Jax talks about his Carly woes.
At the bar, Kiefer and his dad talk about the case. Kiefer is worried. Warren thinks Kiefer should never have gotten involved with Kristina. He encourages Kiefer to talk to Kristina. It looks like he has some experience in these situations.

Lucky and Dante see Luke at the Haunted Star. They tell him that they're close to solving the case.

Michael somehow got a hold of a phone and calls Kristina. She tells him that the trial is going terribly and about Sonny going crazy in the courtroom. Even though Kristina knows that Michael killed Claudia, she still thinks her dad is guilty.

Sonny comforts Robin and tells her that she has nothing to be sorry about. Robin is still upset about her testimony. The judge has come to a decision: "If Miss. Jones can't come to court. Court will go to her." Field trip!

Sonny tells Jason and Carly about Robin's testimony back at his office. Carly thinks Robin should have lied. Sonny tells them that the next witness is Maxie.

Epiphany warns Maxie and Spinelli not to fuck with the machines. After Epiphany is gone, Maxie gets nervous. Spinelli reassures her. Epiphany comes in with a wheelchair for Maxie.

Alexis visits the Haunted Star. He tells her that he has news and that Ethan will be exonerated. Alexis still thinks Ethan is the attacker and hopes that she and Luke can get passed this.

Kiefer visits Kristina and she stupidly tells him that she's alone. Kiefer anxiously barges in and asks Kristina for help and then freaks out when she asks why. He wants her to reinstate the charges and stick to her story. She says that Dante and Lucky will figure it out and he freaks out some more and says they already have. Kristina finally comes to her senses but at the worst possible moment realizing she never should have blamed Ethan for something that Kiefer did. And that did it. Kiefer smacks her and she falls to the couch.

Sonny and Carly are worried about Maxie's testimony but Jason isn't.

At the hospital, the judge and council are set up with cameras so that the jury can see. Maxie fakes a coughing fit and Diane tells the judge that Maxie is too sick to do this. The judge warns Maxie of faking. Maxie swears to tell the truth...etc. Claire asks Maxie what she saw the night Claudia was murdered. Maxie begins to tell the tale of the koi pond. Claire finds it hard to believe that she was meeting a poolman at 3am. Diane snarks that Claire knows nothing about Kate, "although that's been obvious from the beginning." Zing! Maxie continues to tell what she saw. Claire states that Sonny was driving Michael's car. Maxie finally admits that it was. Claire asks if Michael was in the car with Sonny.

Michael gets his backpack out and sees the shirt he was wearing the night he killed Claudia. He flashbacks to swinging the axe.

Dante and Lucky interrupt Keifer's parents eating dinner at the Metro-Court. Warren objects. Lucky tells them that they're trying to establish a timeline. Warren again objects to the "misleading statements of a teenage girl."

Kristina is unconscious and bleeding on the lake house floor as Keifer yells at her. He runs off knocking into Alexis as he goes. Alexis finds her unconscious daughter.

-end