May 28 2010

So I missed the last few days. I'm loving Claire's manipulation of Sonny. She's smart and I can see her brain working a mile a minute. Sonny's wrath and self-centeredness continues to make me want to throw beer bottles at the TV. I love Brook Lynn, although I'm not sure how they're writing her. Is she a money obsessed bitch who will do anything to live in the lap of luxury or does she actually feel for Lulu and Dante. Could she just be a complicated character and the answer is both? Nah...this is General Hospital. So let's start, shall we?

We're in Dante's pad with Lulu and the above mentioned Brook Lynn Ashton. Dante tries to convince Lulu to get Brook to sing at the metro-court. Lulu remembers that Brook used to have issues with singing for money. OMG. I just flash backed to that awful audition where all those sad extras had to sing "Milkshake". Oh and Dillon wore a dress.... Anyway, Brook is over that whole issue. It's fun to see Dante being manipulated by Brook.

Michael is pissed at Jason (the only guy in there protecting him) for confronting the guard.

Lucky and Claire argue about Sonny. He thinks that Sonny is manipulating Claire.....but she assures him it's the other way around.

Johnny is being held by Max, Milo and some other thugs because Sonny is too much of a pussy to handle him mano a mano. Johnny plays it cool until Olivia runs up to save her boy toy.

Credits: OK, so it seems they're flip flopping credits every day. One day is Epiphany and Matt and the other day is Steve and Lisa. Today? Steve and Lisa.

Kristina comes to see her cousin at Wyndemere. She asks about Spencer but Nikolas probably doesn't know. I'm sure he's around with the servants somewhere. Anyway, Kristina talks about Michael and how unfair it is. Nik can't help with Michael but tells Kristina that RoadKill's parents will be dropping the wrongful death lawsuit soon. Kristina admits that she misses RoadKill sometimes and then wonders if it sounds ridiculous. Nikolas says (yes) no. He then talks about his woes with Elizabeth.

Lucky worries about Claire. He's known Sonny for a long time and still thinks that Claire's going to be manipulated. Lucky asks a hypothetical, "Assuming you can't get both of them, who would you rather bust: Sonny or Johnny". Claire defiantly answers: "Who says we can't get both"? She admits that Sonny is very convincing but she knows his 'act'. Lucky says he's only known two woman who can hold their own against Sonny: Carly and Diane. Lucky talks about what a great guy Sonny can be and that's how he draws women in. He says that women want to "save him". Claire says she doesn't want to save him. She wants to put him away. Oh god. I hope she never folds. The wheels of cliche foreshadowing are getting me down. She goes on a rant about how awful Sonny is.

Olivia tries to convince Sonny to let Johnny go, though Johnny and Sonny want her to let it go. Finally Sonny, the sexist dick says, "Go on Johnny, let your girlfriend save your ass." Because girls can't be powerful! Girls can't fight! Only men smash!
Dick.

Jason tells Michael that he's there to protect him but he can only do that if he knows what happened. MIchael convinces him to let it go. He proves himself by blocking a test punch from Jason.

Lulu and Dante update Brook Lynn on the Michael situation. And the Carly wrath. Brook puts two and two together. She now knows the full reason why she's there.

CPPP makes an announcement over the GH loudspeaker telling everyone that all her jewelry is on sale. Epiphany angrily takes the phone away from her. CPPP doesn't apologize! She's got cancer! She can do what she wants! Elizabeth wheels her away.

Sonny, "Blah blah blah, women, blah blah blah, you shoulda been dead...blah blah blah." Johnny, "You're nothing without Jason...blah blah blah". Olivia, "Relax, you both have big dicks." Blah. Blah-fuckity-blah. They both threaten each other and...I don't care.

Lulu says she'll talk to Carly although she's a bit wary. Brook makes a break for it but Lulu and Dante convince her to stay for dinner so they can all talk about Benson-fucking-hurst. Brook tells a boring story when Lulu gets interrupted by a work emergency. She goes off leaving the too Brooklynites alone.

Carly visits Michael in jail and is alarmed to see his bruises. It's nice that Pentonville seems to have unlimited visiting hours.

Claire comments on Lucky's knowledge of Sonny's personal life. He tells her of his dad's past with Sonny. Claire hopes it won't be a conflict of interest but Lucky reassures her that it won't. I can't wait until they kiss. She flirts a little, asking him out under the guise of work. Helena interrupts telling Lucky to tell his "secretary" to get back to work because she needs his full attention. Ha! Claire seems amused rather than offended and goes off. After she leaves, Helena wants to know why Lucky won't "let" Elizabeth move to Wyndemere.

Liz mock scolds CPPP. She talks about Nikolas and Wyndemere and ultrasounds and CPPP eats the whole thing up like she's watching a soap opera. She thinks Elizabeth should reconsider living at Wyndemere.

Sam and Kristina walk down a the street with empty cups of coffee. These actors really need to learn how to hold cups and act like there's liquid inside. I mean that's like acting 101. Anyway, Kristina's going Pentonville to visit Michael and Sam wants to talk her out of it. When she realizes she can't, she tries to prepare Kristina for the prison set(ting).

Carly questions Michael about his injuries. Carly worries; Michael prattles. She tells him that Jax is working on getting him out. She also tells him that, "the one person responsible for putting you in here is Dante Falconeri." No one else is to blame. This week.

Sonny visits his eldest. Seriously, can Dante get a lock on his door? Not a great place for a cop to live.

Am I seriously only half way done with this shit? They don't pay me enough. Oh wait, they don't pay me.

Sonny is concerned about Olivia. *bleep-blop* Sonny leaves.

CPPP continues to try to convince Elizabeth to move in with Nikolas.

Also trying to convince someone to have Elizabeth move to Wyndemere? Helena. Lucky tries to tell her he has nothing to do with her decision but Helena's not listening. She thinks Lucky needs to be more pro-active.

Kristina's turn to visit. Michael jokes that he ran into a door. She jokes that he opened a cabinet and a can fell out and hit him in the eye. Ahh, abuse humor. She's come a long way.

Carly is now visiting Jason. She wants to know how he got his bruises. He says he doesn't know but tells her that he's teaching Michael how to fight. She tells herself more than Jason that Michael will get out of here and move on with his life. Sure.

Nikolas checks up on Elizabeth via phone when Lucky enters. He tells her about Helena's visit. Nikolas agrees with Helena that Lucky is responsible for Liz's decisions. Lucky's all perplexed about how cruel Nikolas has been. He blames Emily's death for changing Nikolas. Nikolas suggests that people have affairs all the time and then points out Lucky's affair with Maxie. Nik defends his child-rearing actions and threatens Lucky to stay out of the way.

Michael jokes about the food in prison. Kristina wants to know what she can do to help. He wants her to not take things for granted. He talks about how wonderful Port Charles is; he misses Kelly's and the coffee and french fries there. Times up.

Carly commiserates with Jason about Dante and Lulu although Jason wants her to stop focussing on them. But Carly is like a dog with a bone.

Brook Lynn is back at Dante's and they're cooking. Because that's what Italian's do. Italian's from Brooklyn. They cook! And they go to church!. And they reminisce about block parties! They get into talking about Sonny. Dante hates him but can admit that Sonny can be "nice".

He's not nice now when he gives Max the order to burn Johnny's stuff. Olivia barges in and tells Sonny to stop before he does something he'll regret. That would require a conscience, Olivia.

Nik and Lucky continue to have their little Cassadine/Spencer war. It almost comes to blows and Lucky finally lets it all out on Nikolas about how he cheated with Elizabeth. He compares him to his father who kidnapped Laura and forced her to bore his child. Nikolas responds with, "don't talk about fathers who commit rape. That's one fight you can't win." Duuuuude.

Gosh, they get a lot of visitors. Next on the list is Sam, visiting Jason. She tells him that she applied for a conjugal visit but she was denied because they're not married.

Lulu approaches Carly about Brook Lynn.

Dante and Brook continue to cook and to talk about cooking and Sonny and she even mentions Brenda.

Sonny and Olivia argue some more about Johnny. And of course he threatens Johnny's life again because that's what he does.

-end

May 25 2010

Retread of Carly telling Lulu not to tell Dante about the abortion. She elaborates by talking about Olivia and her choice. Lulu thinks she should tell Dante the truth.

Brook continues to promote ABC's parent company by singing "When You Wish Upon a Star". That cricket is turning over in his grave. Johnny wants to know who she is.

Liz apologizes for just stopping by to vent but she says tells Lucky she needs him more than ever.

Michael returns to his prison cell and has trouble sitting down. You'll get used to it, Mikey. He asks Jason how it went with Sonny.

Credits: Someone said yesterday that Matt and Epiphany were taken out of the credits for Lisa and Steven. I was all set to comment on this but either they were lying, or it was changed back the next day. Good thing too, because Matt finally got a story line!

Jason assures Michael that he didn't say anything to Sonny. Michael perpetuates the lie that a guard beat him...which I guess is half true. He's also upset to learn that he's messing up Jason's personal life and his business. Jason doesn't regret his decision.

Brook reunites with Dante. She tells him that Lois is touring Europe and living in London. Maxie moves in to tell this bitch to back off on Lulu's behalf but Dante says it's ok because Brook is an old friend. Maxie admits to knowing Brook Lynn and informs Dante that she used to live in Port Charles. Johnny joins the party and Maxie tells everyone that Brook is a Quartermaine. Now that captain exposition has reared his ugly head, can we get going with the plot? Maya is next to join the gang and tells Brook Lynn that they're related. I guess not.

Carly argues against Lulu telling Dante the truth although she claims it's Lulu's decision. Lulu says she'll play it by ear and goes off to Jake's.

Liz talks about how awful Nikolas has been acting. Lucky sympathizes but he says he won't get involved. She wonders if he even cares if she moved to Wyndemere.

Still kidnapped? Tracy. Oh yeah! Skye comes to the haunted star to tell Luke she has news about Tracy. Edward found out that Fiji was a lie. Luke figures out that Tracy has been kidnapped and knows exactly who it is.

Tracy is still wearing the same clothes in her little cell. Helena thinks Luke just doesn't even want to find Tracy. They reference the Wizard of Oz too many times in one minute for my tastes and then Helena finally threatens to kill Tracy if Luke doesn't show up soon.

Luke doesn't know how he could have missed the obvious clues. Skye is pleasantly surprised at how much Luke loves Tracy.

Helena and Tracy snark and banter.

Lucky tries not to care about Elizabeth moving to Wyndemere. She's surprised that he's so laid back about it knowing she would never move to Wyndemere. He says it's up to her.

Lulu comes to Jake's and reunites with Brook. Dante is surprised that they know each other. Lulu likes the idea but Maxie doesn't. Brook feigns that she didn't know about Dante and Lulu's relationship. She jokes that she has tons of dirt on Dante.

Reunion at Jake's: Lulu, Dante and Brook all joke around about Dante's cheesy pick-up lines and how they got together. He tells Brook about Sonny being his father. She again feigns surprise. She then jokes about Lulu stealing Dillon from Georgie. Dante is glad to hear about the dirt but Lulu drags him away. Alone, Brook gets a drink to which Johnny saddles up and pays for. Olivia joins them, surprised to see Brook. She puts her arm around Johnny and it's Brook's turn to really be surprised.

Metro-Court bar: Claire joins Jax. They talk about Jason being in jail. I don't like Jax's new buzzed head. She wonders if Jax has had any luck getting through to higher powers regarding Michael. He hasn't. However, he was "told" that if Sonny goes to prison, it will pave way for Michael's release.

Jason asks Michael about the "schedule" in Pentonville. Michael tells him all about the rigorous schedule. Jason wonders about free time. Michael's voice beings to waver as he tells Jason about the cell doors being open for a while after dinner and then once they're shut, "Nobody's supposed to be able to get in".

To Elizabeth's chagrin, Nikolas is sitting in her house. He's upset because Elizabeth was kicked at work by a guy having a seizure. I'm surprised this is the first time she's been kicked. They continue to argue about it.

Claire visits Lucky. She apologizes about her meltdown in the park. He doesn't think there's anything to be sorry about but she assures him that it won't happen again. Getting to the point, she tells him that she wants to build a case against Sonny that will stick this time. He thinks she's ambitious which she takes as a compliment. She wants his help.

Carly stops by the Metro-Court bar where Jax is still drinking. He tells her about Claire and Jason and Morgan's adoption. He wants to know what happens next. She says after he becomes Morgan's legal father, they move on with their divorce.

Lucky keeps crossing his legs like a lady. Anyway, Claire wonders about some cases involving Jason and Sonny. She noticed that he's excused himself from some cases citing "conflict of interest". He says it's personal. She says that's ok, but she wants to know if this "conflict" will stop him from going after Sonny. He says it won't but he doesn't want it to be part of a personal vendetta.

Jason talks about how he wanted/wants a better life for Michael. (too late) He doesn't think Michael's prepared to be in prison. He wants to teach Michael how to defend himself. (too late) They plan to start tomorrow.

The Catholic Italians boozing it up at Jake's talk about not messing with God etc until Maxie drags Brook Lynn away. On the other side of Jake's, Maya assumes Ethan is now in the mob. She thinks he's an idiot and wonders why he would be involved in "all that crap". Asked and answered. He says he likes living on the edge and it pays a lot. Maya excuses herself. She ain't playin'.
Brook asks Maxie if Johnny and Olivia are really dating each other. Maxie gives her attitude about the whole thing.

Dante is happy to bring Lulu home but she has other things on her mind. He talks about how crazy it was seeing Brook. He knows something is going on with Lulu and wants to know what. She says what she has to tell him is hard. He tells her that nothing she says is going to change his opinion of her. Just wait... She starts to tell him about Dillon and getting pregnant and finally about the abortion.

Nik and Elizabeth? Still fighting. And it's not that it's not interesting. I like the dynamic of these two actors fighting, it's just that there's nothing really new. After telling him that she's going to raise the baby herself, she kicks him out for the second time this week. (night?) He then threatens her that the "days of ordering [him] around are over".

Claire is offended by Lucky's insinuation thinking he was bringing up the baby meltdown again. She calms down when he explains that he was just talking about Sonny. He goes on to talk about this forcefield (Guza) around Sonny that's hard to penetrate. He warns her about losing her soul going after Sonny. She insists that it won't happen to her. Famous last words. They finally make a deal to work together.

Jason gives Michael his pillow to help him sleep. Then he tells Michael that they'll be warmer if they sleep in the same bed. Body heat, ya know? Kidding! Lights out!

Lulu continues to ramble about abortions and Olivia and Dante. Dante says it makes him love her and respect her even more. He goes on to tell her that he won't judge her for making a difficult decision. Right answer, Dante. That's my boy.

Brook reports to Carly. She tells him about everything and thinks it's going to take really long to convert Dante into a cheater. Carly, in turn, gives her all the incentive she needs including a 50 thousand bonus check if she gets it on video. I seriously need to move to Port Charles if these people are throwing all this money around.

-end

May 24 2010

NYC is a large place; How did Carly find Brook Lynn? Who cares. OK - Carly is trying to convince Brook to take money in exchange for helping her. Brook sidesteps but you know she's going to take the deal. She reminds us that she doesn't get her trust fund money until she's 30 and her parents aren't exactly thrilled with her. I wonder if Lois and Ned are back together. Brook wants Carly to get to the point. Carly mentions Dante.

Also sidestepping? Lulu. She claims she's busy with work. Dante thinks Lulu is all frazzled because of Michael. She talks about secrets and the "right time to tell them".

Sonny picks up his phone as instructed by Johnny. He gets some bad news. Johnny mentions some Italian names who are working with him now. Sonny makes an empty threat about killing Johnny.

Jason enters Michael's cell. Michael looks like Liz did on Valentine's day years before. He's totally shellshocked. Don't worry, Mikey - it usually only hurts the first time. Jason tries to get through to him.

Credits: I can't make fun of Matt anymore since he appeared twice in one week so... Monica, "Hey remember me? I'm a veteran!"

At the hospital, Lucky runs into Maya who is on her way out. He asks if she's seen Elizabeth. He was supposed to take the kids home but apparently Liz took them home.

At Liz's house, the kids are running rampant while Elizabeth has a headache. Nikolas is at the door. She forgot her ultra-sound appointment. Nikolas takes it personally for some reason.

Brook recounts the Falconeri/Cerillo connections. Yeah they all knew each other. Carly tells Brook about Sonny being Dante's father. She's surprised but enjoys the gossip.

Sonny holds the gun on Johnny but has no intention of using it. Johnny is just as smug. They both threaten each other and it's so boring. Sonny hides his gun as Ethan and Claire run in. Sonny is pissed at Max for being a bad bodyguard. Claire wants to know what she's doing there. Johnny says he wants to report an attempted murder. His. Points for creativity, Johnny but it's just so stupid. Any court would see that it's a set up.

Jason tries to talk Michael out of the shellshock but has no idea what happened. Right now he just thinks that Michael has been beaten up a little. Michael just rocks back and forth. Jason tries to distract him with other talk. Talk about the beach on the island snaps Michael out of it a little. And no, they're not talking about the final episode of Lost.

Johnny tells Claire that Sonny was holding a gun on him but the gun has already been hidden. He blames Ethan for being late. Claire asks Sonny if he really wants to be on trial for murder so soon after his last trial. Sonny blames Claire for Michael's conviction because he's a hypocritical dick. Sonny kicks everyone out but Claire stays. Sonny snarks that she's working for Johnny. She says she has probable cause to search the place because of what took place and reminds him that she heard him talk about killing Ethan. He tells her to go ahead and says he's going to visit Michael, whose conviction he again blames on Claire because he's a hypocritical dick.

Jason still thinks Michael was just hit and interrogates him about it. Michael doesn't want to talk about it. When Jason goes to touch him, Michael flinches. He blames himself for Jason being in there. Maybe Michael owes him a lil' somethin' somethin'. Hey, it's not rape if it's consensual.

Brook realizes that Carly wants her to go up to Port Charles to sleep with Dante. After she protests that she's not a hooker, Brook finalizes the deal by getting free room and board at the Metro-Court, unlimited spa and room service access. Also? She wants to sing there. I'm getting my plane ticket....now. Where is this magical place called Port Charles where people pay you big bucks to sleep with hot men?

Dante isn't sure what's going on but he wants to skip the argument and make up. Lulu doesn't think he has anything to be sorry about. They rehash the whole Michael decision and I'm bored. Phone! It's Claire. She wants Dante to come to Sonny's. Dante leaves with plans to get a drink with Lulu later at Jake's.

Nikolas doesn't think the baby is Liz's priority. Liz doesn't think that's fair. Lucky shows up and Liz realizes that it's his night with the kids. She's sorry that it slipped her mind. Lucky takes them away. Nik starts to fight again. Nik thinks two kids, being pregnant and a full time job is too much for her and wants to know what she's going to do about it.

It's Matt! Maxie shows up to Jake's with an awful haircut. She feigns that she's there to meet him as a friend.
Johnny and Ethan arrive at Jake's all happy with themselves and order shots to celebrate. Ethan turns and bumps into Maya causing her to spill her beer all over herself.

Claire tells Dante about what happened with Johnny and Sonny. She wants his help to search the house.

Michael wants to know about home. Jason tells him a little about Kristina. They talk about Carly and Dante. Jason admits that he hates Dante. Michael asks Jason not to tell anybody about how he was when he first arrived - all shellshocked and stuff. Jason talks about Brenda and how when he didn't talk, it drove her crazy. He says sometimes he didn't talk just to annoy her. HA! The guard comes over to tell Michael his dad is there.

In the visiting room, Sonny wants to know right away who hit him. Sonny says that Jason will be there to protect him. Michael wants Sonny to know that he's not as weak as Sonny thinks he is.

Elizabeth blames the hormones. Nik thinks she's doing too much. They fight and argue and... He wants her to live at Wyndemere and not work. She says she'll never move to Wyndemere.

Dante makes excuses about not searching the house. Claire thinks Dante is just protecting his father and can't even admit that Sonny shot him. He finally admits it to Claire's surprise and amusement but she says it doesn't do them any good now. It doesn't? Is the statute of limitations 3 months for attempted murder?! Why doesn't she go and arrest Sonny right now? He self-flagellates, she snarks. Did I mention I love Claire?

"Warden Powell" comes to visit Jason. He says he was wary about assigning Michael and Jason as cellmates but he went along with it...although he doesn't say why. He tells Jason that if he gets into any fights, he'll put Jason in solitary for the rest of his term and Michael will get another cellmate. Jason agrees but has a request.

Sonny wants to be all protective dad. (too late) He infers that Michael got beat up because of him. Michael insists he'll be fine. Sonny says he's trying to get him released and tells him to stay out of trouble.

Ethan tries to clean Maya up and accidently cops a feel. Maya takes over. He says he found a new lucrative job and will buy her a new shirt.

Matt and Maxie talk about Milan. She's impressed that he knows so much. She excuses herself to say hi to Johnny. Johnny wonders where Spinelli is. She tells him he's all depressed. Maxie tells Johnny of her plan to rile Spinelli up. Oops, Matt overhears, gets mad and leaves.

Nik and Liz fight some more. He brings up the past. She regrets that they ever slept together and she says she regrets that he's the baby daddy. He threatens that that's the worst thing she could have said to him. She finally kicks him out.

Michael comes back to his cell. A guard takes Michael away and the other guard tells Jason he has a visitor too. He's brought to see Sonny. Sonny makes his second death threat of the episode. Seriously, Sonny? Stop with all the fucking death threats. Who in Port Charles hasn't Sonny threatened?

Liz goes to visit Lucky. She tells him all about Nikolas.

Sonny, "I appreciate what you're doing...but you left me in a hell of a mess." For fucking seriously? Jason is in fucking jail and you're going to make a....oh for... I can't. I quit! I fucking quit. Breathe in. Breathe out. And I'm back. Sonny tells Jason about Johnny and Ethan and Claire. Sonny makes plans to crush Johnny.

Michael is with the prison doc.

Mode Lite! Carly rushes in to see Lulu. She says she's changed her mind and doesn't think Lulu should tell Dante about the abortion.

Dante arrives at Jake's to hear Brook Lynn singing "When you wish upon a star". Thanks, Disney. Yes, we all know ABC is owned by Disney.

Fuckers.

-end

May 21 2010

OMG, y'all. I'm so sorry. My recaps have been few and far between lately and I apologize to my hundreds....let's make that tens of readers. :) This week I've been doing 12 hour days on "Rescue Me". Relax, I was just an extra. Extra work sucks - it's hours of sitting on your ass. Very much a "hurry up and wait" mentality. So yesterday I watched four episodes of GH in a row. Anyway I'm back now - so here we go -

We start with Olivia trying to get out of an awkward dinner/conversation with Sonny. She knows how this usually goes: They anecdote about something stupid and inevitably Sonny says something stupid about Dante that pisses her off.

Carly recognizes Brook Lyn in a picture with her arm around Dante. She tells Spinelli about Ned and Lois....except she pronounces Lois' last name as Cerilla...instead of Cerillo. She ponders how she can use this info. Why is Dante's picture all over the internet when he's an undercover cop? And more importantly, why didn't Spinelli find this before...when he was still undercover? And most importantly, why can't Carly use google like everyone else?

Mayor McCheesey doesn't want Jason sent to Pentonville for some reason. He pretty much knows the little plan. Dante comes in and wants to know what's going on.

Prisoner McRapist tells Michael that the rules change in prison. He gets closer explaining those rules, going as far as touching Michael's face. When Michael doesn't react how he wants, Prisoner McRapist pushes him against the wall and tells him Pentonville is about surviving.

Credits: Matt: "Dude - you missed me. I was on yesterday!"

Everyone argues against the Mayor. The Mayor wants to get Jason for something that will lead to more jail time. The Mayor tells Jason he's going to be spending time at the PCPD for a while. This make Jason angry. Jason smash. The mayor leaves all self-satisfied. Sam thinks Michael will be fine for now.

Prisoner McRapist tries to hit that, but Michael punches him and tries to run away. Prisoner Rapist wants to know where he's supposed to escape to. He leaves saying he'll be repaid his debt. Why is he leaving, then?

For some reason, Olivia hasn't left. They do as she said in the beginning and reminisce and anecdote and intentionally try to bore me.

Mode Lite: Maxie reminds Lulu how the town hates her. She thinks Lulu shouldn't tell Dante about the abortion. Lulu knows that secrets always come out...also, they create walls. Or something.

Carly wants to know everything about Brook Lyn. She also wants to know why the water in Brooklyn seems to make dimples in all the people.

Maxie looks way too skinny. She tells Lulu to tell Dante about the abortion in a public place. Maxie shows Lulu some dresses for her fake date with Matt...who enters through the elevator. MATT! Two days in a row! Lulu drags Maxie to talk to her privately. Lulu thinks it's a bad idea because she's the smart one. Maxie likes "plans" and thinks this will work.

Spinelli talks about Ned, Lois (he says her last name right) and Brook Lyn's whereabouts. And apparently Brook's been a bad girl. Also, she doesn't get her trust fund from Grandpa Quartermaine until she becomes 30. This gives Carly an idea for a plan.

Dante tells Jason he'll talk to the mayor and goes off. Jason thinks he's just going to mess it up. Outside, the Mayor tells Dante that Jason won't be going to Pentonville yet. Dante takes this opportunity to blackmail the Mayor. So much for the law, Dante. Mayor McCheesey has been seeing hookers. Dante goes back into the interrogation room to tell Jason that the guard is on his way.

Matt's wondering if this is a date. Maxie says it's not a date; she just needed an escort. He impresses her with his museum and fashion and New York knowledge. She's intrigued... Is it too soon for Lulu to say, "I told you so"?

Jason worries he's taking Sam for granted. She says she'll be strong. He hugs her by putting his handcuffed hands over her head. Romantic! The guard comes in to take him away. Sam goes out and cries.

Lulu comes to see Spinelli. He graciously lets her in. He talks about his bleak future without his sugar daddy. He understands why she made the decision she did.

Dante comes to the Metro Court to see his mom and dad eating together. Olivia thinks it'll end with her dessert in his face. Dante comes to join them. He snarks at Sonny and his mom: "I wonder what slop they're serving Michael at Pentonville while you're stuffing your faces with this good food". Why you attacking your momma, boy?

It's lock-down and Michael warily goes into his cell. Prisoner McRapist looms by.

Maxie continues to be impressed by Matt when he tells her how he hurt his wrist: He wrestled some guy away from his dog that the guy abused. All that and an animal lover! He wants to take her to Jake's unless "Spinelli will blow a gasket". She says that Spinelli trusts her. Should he? Matt is glad to have a date.

Lulu argues on Dante's behalf. Spinelli is worried about Jason.

Dante chides his mom for eating with Sonny. Sonny tries to be all heroic and tell Dante not to talk to his mom like that, but Dante cuts him off with "I'll get to you in a minute." Nice. He continues with his mom telling her that Sonny is using her to get to him. He then redirects his anger to Sonny telling him that he should be feeling like crap because he got his son in prison. Sonny says it's just dinner. Dante knows it's not. He storms off.

Hey, it's Brook Lyn! Carly enjoys watching her manipulate a hot dog man into giving her a free food and money for the subway. Carly makes her presence known.

Michael wants to do his time in peace! Prisoner McRapist laughs because he has the box set of Oz in his cell. Michael's cell door closes before Prisoner McRapist can live up to his name.

Carly pays the hot dog man and brings Brook away. Brook is not happy to see Carly who tells her she's in the "neighborhood" looking for her.

Dante tells Lulu all about what happened with Mayor McCheesey and Jason and then about Sonny and his mom.

Sonny doesn't think Dante should affect Olivia's mood. She's concerned about seeing this side of Dante and claims he's never been like that. Sonny dips into his fantasy world for a bit and Olivia calls him on it.

Sam gets back to Jason's apartment and cries. Spinelli comes and comforts her.

Michael lies in his cell. Prisoner McRapist finds his way in. He wants some pretty boy tail tonight. I wonder if this is the real reason Drew Garrett left. It makes more sense than "we wanted to go in a different direction."

Carly wonders why Brook has gone all juvie. She offers Brook cash to do her bidding.

Dante's still all upset about his mom and Sonny having dinner. He talks more about his mom's courage of having a kid at 15. Lulu doesn't like where the conversation is going. He sense something is wrong.

Sonny comes home to find Johnny waiting for him. Sonny says he can shoot Johnny for trespassing. The phone rings. Johnny tells Sonny that it's Bernie with bad news.

Jason gets escorted into prison.
Back in the cell, Mayor McRapist is all talk and no action. He tells Michael again that it's time to pay up. Dude - less talking, more screwing. That's my motto, at least.

-end

May 14 2010

Wow, I'm back! It's been a while since I've done a recap so let's go!

Morgan and Sonny have a talk about Dante. Morgan wonders if Sonny hates Dante now because Morgan sure seems to. Sonny tries to defend his eldest. Sonny tells Morgan he's going to stay away from him for a while although he promises to take all his kids to a Yankee game some day. Because that's what matters. Morgan doesn't want his dad to make any promises he can't keep.

Jax wants to make sure he heard Carly right about adopting Morgan. He wonders if that means she wants to stay married.

Dante's trying to look up something at the PCPD to see if he can get Michael off. He runs ideas by Lucky. Lucky doesn't think Michael's sentence is that bad for manslaughter but still wants to help get Michael out.

Claire tries to understand Jason's little plan. She wonders if he's though this through since it will be hard to get him out.

Credits: Matt: Will I be on today? Please! Please!?

Morgan, blah blah blah Yankees. He sounds defeated. And he seems to be really pissed at Dante. Morgan says he understands when Sonny says it's best he stays away from him for a while but his voice totally breaks. Morgan cries as Sonny tries to rationalize. Morgan is kinda confused by Sonny's wishy-washy attitude. He stays away, he's here, he stays away. Sonny promises that they will go to a Yankee game. Because that's what matters.

Carly tells Jax that the marriage is over. She just wants him to be there for Morgan.

Claire argues the cons of Jason going to prison while Jason begs her to arrest him. Everything she says pretty much makes sense: He has enemies at Pentonville; he may not be able to get out once he's in; and many people who care about Michael are working on an appeal. But Jason? Nah - the justice system has to bend to his rules.

New set! Pentonville yard: Michael stands scared while all the prisoners work out and one eyes him like he's fresh meat. A guard comes over and harasses him. He doesn't like that Michael's a rich boy. Also, his brother was in the hospital because of Sonny. Possible Rapist approaches Michael and offers him a smoke. Possible Rapist tells Michael to stick with him.

Lucky and Dante continue to try to figure out how to set Michael free when Judge Carrol enters. He compliments Dante and insults Lucky.

Dante asks the judge to reconsider Michael's sentence. The judge refuses. He thinks it'll teach Michael not to follow in his father's footsteps. Lucky argues that Michael isn't a criminal but the Judge (and I) think he is...or at least has the potential to be one. After the Judge leaves, Lucky wants to find "dirty laundry" on the Judge.

Jason begs Claire some more. Claire rightfully points out that this whole thing could have been avoided had they not all covered the murder up. But...she agrees to help Jason out because it will help her career. How? They both agree that the other is doing the right thing.

Jax tells Carly to think about it before doing something drastic. But Carly is all about being drastic; making big decisions without thinking. Jax finally agrees.

Diane and Alexis discuss Alexis' woes. Diane is worried about what RoadKill's parents will do. They both think the Bauers will go after Kristina. Kristina walks in and overhears Alexis say the word 'trial' and immediately freaks out like only Kristina can do. Why did we not see any of the criminal trial?? I guess we were overloaded with Sonny's trial.

Diane explains the "wrongful death" suit that the Bauers plan to bring against Alexis. She warns Kristina that she may be called to the stand. Kristina whinges and whines and moans and cries and freaks out because that's all she knows how to do. Get a fucking spine, Kristina. She runs off. Diane tells Alexis not to go after Kristina because she needs to process all she just heard.

Jason comes to the PCPD and asks to see Lucky privately. Lucky apologizes for not letting Michael go with him when he had the chance. Jason tells him it's not his fault. He informs Lucky that he's going to prison.

Lulu brings Dante coffee. Dante tells her that Jason took Lucky into the interrogation room. Lulu thinks Jason is trying to turn Lucky against Dante.

Morgan tells Sonny about his karate stuff and Sonny tries not to look bored and then Carly comes in. He tells Carly why he's there: He wanted to explain to Morgan that he'll be staying away for a while to keep him safe but it won't be forever. So why now? Why not later? Will Sonny's life get less dangerous later? Or will Sonny just not care if Morgan is safe later? This whole thing stinks of self-absorbed guilt which is nothing new from Sonny. I really shouldn't be surprised. Carly asks to talk to Sonny alone for a few. He hugs his dad good-bye (just for a while!) and goes off upstairs. Carly makes it clear that she doesn't want Sonny to see Morgan at all; to cut all ties. She tells Sonny about asking Jax to adopt Morgan.

Kristina comes to cousin Nikolas to ask for help. She tells him about the case and that she might be put on the stand. Why wasn't she put on the stand at the criminal case? Nikolas tells Kristina he can help.

Sonny and Carly argue about Jax adopting Morgan. They argue and argue and argue. She wants Morgan to grow up to be like Jax. Sonny says it's not going to happen.

Jason tells Lucky about what Claire is going to do. Lucky tells Jason about the possible blackmail.
Outside, Lulu and Dante talk about Jason.
Back inside, Jason thanks Lucky for being a dad to Jake. Jason says he'll be in prison within 24 hours.
Jason leaves. He's stopped by Lulu who wants to make sure that Dante is safe. Jason snarks at Lulu for defending her boyfriend instead of defending the family who cares about her. He stalks off. Dante wants to know what the hell is going on. Lucky tells him and adds, "which is a hell of a lot more then any of us are doing." Yeah - real fucking noble. And real fucking stupid. Want to help Michael? Stop being a fucking criminal.

Nikolas assures Kristina that he'll make sure it doesn't go to trial. Kristina is thankful because if she went to her dad, he would just kill them. NIkolas: "I take a different approach. I just make people wish they were dead." Hee. Can we have more of this Nikolas? He asks her how's she doing. She's getting better about understanding how wrong she was. Nik gets it because of what he did with Lucky and Elizabeth.

Lulu and Dante agree that Jason's plan might be good. He tells her that they're looking for dirt on Judge Carroll.

Jax is on the phone when Sonny busts in telling him that he can't have his son. Jax reminds Sonny that he signed away his rights to Morgan. They both think the other is the reason that Michael is where he is. Sonny threatens Jax...because that's what he does.

Carly tells Jason about the adoption. Jason tries not to judge. She tells him that they'll raise Morgan as divorced parents. Jason thinks it all goes back to him. He says asking Sonny to be Michael's father was the worst decision he ever made.

Lulu visits Luke. He's overjoyed to see her. She's glad he's not mad at her. She asks him if he has any dirt on Judge Carroll. He doesn't but he's happy that her kids are trying to blackmail a judge! Now that's good parenting!

Jax calls Sonny's bluff. Sonny, "You couldn't put me in prison. So now you're trying to steal my son." Because everything is about Sonny!! Jax tries to explain that it's about being a good parent. And now...Michael is in Pentonville because of Jax. God, I hate this guy. SO. MUCH. And...enter Dante.

The prisoners at Pentonville are called to line up. The guard yells at Michael for not knowing how to stand in a line. And seriously? Who walks over to the wall when all the other prisoners are standing in a line in the center... Are we sure he's not Jason's kid? The guard tells Michael he's going to be treated worse because of who his father is.

Carly is happy but skeptical that Jason is so accepting of her decision. Jason tells her about his plan to go to Pentonville. He tells her that he'll be with Michael 24 hours a day. Claire calls him - it's done - he has 5 years in Pentonville. She warns him that even if Michael gets out, he won't.

-end

Emmy Noms 2010

Sorry I haven't been recapping lately. I've been getting home late and haven't really had the time or the energy.
I will continue tomorrow. In the mean time, I wanted to comment on the emmy noms. I'm pretty excited. I'm used to the same old GH people being nominated, i.e., Maurice Benard and Anthony Geary. I'm glad neither one got noms this year.

I am, however, delighted to see Carolyn Hennessey get a much deserved nom, despite the fact she's not even a contract player. I was also happy to see Drew Garrett get a nom. He did an amazing job this year and I still don't get this "we decided to go in another direction with Michael" thing. I have yet to see this "new direction". The new Michael is fine but he's not that different from the old Michael, looks-wise, personality-wise or age-wise. And I hope GH is regretting their decision.

I'm happy to see Jonathan Jackson in the running, although besides the first few scenes he was given, there hasn't been much. I don't really get the Bradford Anderson nom...although he should probably get a nomination just for his memorization skills. As an actor, I can't imagine getting through those lines every day.

I generally just like Julie Berman in general, but I'm not sure if she had any highlights this year. And Sarah Brown: You go, girl.

-end

May 6 2010

2 second news report. We now join GH already in progress! Helena wants to see Steven Webber to make sure Elizabeth has the best care possible when she delivers the baby - Epiphany assures her that she will...as does everyone else who comes into the hospital. She's not really asking for Elizabeth's sake but because the baby is her grandkid. She deems Epiphany unhelpful, spies Elizabeth and goes to harass her. She demands Elizabeth to take a leave of absence. Lucky comes to Liz's aid.

Mike enters the mob restaurant. Conan compliments him for his restaurant choice before realizing that he's there to see Sonny. Oh, I see. This is going to be a running gag thing. Yay. Mike wanders into Sonny's office where he finds his son laying in the dark.

Oh no! New Morgan! I don't understand these new changes...it's not like they SORASed them much. The new Morgan is even nerdier than the old one and a little gayer too if that's possible. He thinks Michael looks cool in his handcuffs. Case. In. Point. Carly tells him not to be inappropriate. New Morgan thinks Michael will be out of those clothes soon....Check and Mate.

Post-Coital: Dante and Lulu wake up. Dante suddenly remembers he has an early meeting. Kidding! Nah, they cuddle and kiss and be all cute and stuff.

Credits: Matt: "If I were a cop instead of a surgeon, I could've had some of that."

Helena tells Lucky to "run along" calling him 'little boy'. Elizabeth warns Helena that if she doesn't stay away, she'll have her arrested for stalking. After Liz leaves, Helena mocks Lucky for still being so totally pussy-whipped. Lucky doesn't agree with his dad that Helena is charming. He thinks she's sick. He warns her to not mess with Elizabeth. The Spencer testosterone gets Helena hot. She then utters a phrase made popular by a fun movie from ten years ago. No, not Dude, Where's My Car? She says, "Bring it On!".

Dante and Lulu eat pasta in bed. No, that's not a euphemism. Lulu is happy that they did it. I bet there'll be a pregnancy scare. He still hasn't heard about her abortion. They make out again.

New Morgan thinks it's all going to be OK. Carly warns Morgan about Dante. She says what he did was "the most arrogant thing I've seen anyone do. Including myself." Ha! Morgan tries to tell her that Dante was doing his job. But then Carly talks about the betrayal. The Betrayal! Even Michael sort of agrees with Dante. Michael is worried about Carly's future.

Mike rehashes the past few months. Sonny knows it's not over. He's concerned about Michael and he hates what Dante did. Mike tells Sonny to prove to Dante that he can be a good influence to Michael. He uses the phrase "kill two birds with one stone.." which is a mistake. Never use the word 'kill' with Sonny.

Skye and Maya have lunch. Maya wants to know what she's doing there. Me too! Maya thinks she's Skye's alibi. Skye admits that she's helping out Edward. But Maya is a prideful girl! Skye tries to convince her of the perks of being a Quartermaine. Enter Tracy who is not so much happy to see a "convention of grifters". She wants to buy them both off.

Nikolas promises Spencer a family. Helena interrupts. She thinks it's all touching. Nik finds an excuse to get his son out of the room. Helena thinks Spencer could be a "proper" Cassadine despite his matronage...ness. She seems to have just as much a problem with Elizabeth as she did with Courtney...so why does this new kid get to be the heir? Because that's the way it's written folks. Don't argue! Helena tells Nikolas about Lucky's heroics at the hospital.

Mode Lite! Kate yells at Maxie. Didn't she promise she was going to stop doing that when Maxie almost died? Maxie realizes that Kate is upset about something else. Kate defense mechanisms by threatening to fire Maxie and Lulu. Seriously, who just doesn't show up to work? Why hasn't Lulu been fired!?

I guess it's important when you're in bed with a stud like Dante. Phone rings - it's Maxie. She doesn't answer. I guess he didn't really throw their cells out the window. They begin the sex again. She wants to do it in the shower. Condoms don't work in water, missy.

Elizabeth notices that CPPP has been admitted again. Epiphany tells her that she was found passed out. Before Liz can run off, Epiphany warns her they were expecting this. Liz runs off anyway. CPPP tells Liz what happened. She thinks it's no big deal but she has a fever of 102. CPPP wants to know about Liz's love life.

Dante in a towel. 'nuff said. I think Lulu is there too. He says he's never been in love before. Of course! We learned that yesterday with Patrick. You can't be in love until you go to Port Charles. Lulu says something too. Interruption! It's Lucky. Oh...seeing your sister and her boyfriend in bath towels is the last thing he needs. Apparently Maxie called Lulu in as a potential suicide to get her to come into the office. Seriously, why doesn't Kate just fire them? Lulu goes to change. Lucky and Dante make small talk. Awkward!

The Quartermaine girls have drinks. Skye explains the history and dangers of Tracy. Tracy explains Skye as a gold-digging tramp. Maya thinks that's how Tracy sees her. Tracy, "you haven't earned 'tramp' yet". Hee. They argue about what she's there for.

Morgan and Carly have lunch at the metro-court. Morgan wants to throw Michael a party. A theme party! Carly doesn't think that's a good idea. This new kid is annoying.

Sonny is visited by Kate. He knows she's there to admit that she knew Dante was Sonny's son. More betrayal!

Helena exaggerates what happened at the hospital between her and Lucky. She wants Nikolas to be wary of Lucky.

CPPP doesn't want to hear about her medical woes. She wants to hear about Liz's love life. Because it's like a soap opera. Elizabeth tells CPPP about Helena and the Cassadines. Liz is happy that Lucky's first instinct is to protect her.

Dante visits Michael in the interrogation room. They joke about Jason killing Dante. That's ...funny. They talk about the sentencing. Dante wants to be a brother now that his job as a cop is done.

Kate and Sonny....*bleep-blop*

Lucky comes to Wyndemere to tell Nikolas to do something about Helena. But...Helena has apparently gotten to Nikolas. He snarks at Lucky's white knight routine and tells him to butt out.

Lulu finally makes it into work. She's pissed that Maxie told Jason about Michael. Maxie guesses that Lulu had sex.

Dante arrives home to find Sonny in his kitchen. Sonny makes valid points about the little security his loft has. He wonders if Dante thinks he's still under his protection despite what Dante "did to [his] brother". Oh, I'm already tired of this.

Helena talks to the hot ManTender who killed the lab tech. He assures her that no one suspects anything. They will if she keeps talking about it that loudly. And Tracy overhears the word "Spencer". Helena lies and covers up. Tracy wants to know why Helena is bothering since Nikolas already has an heir. That's what I want to know!

Lucky and Nik argue about Helena and Elizabeth.

Lulu talks about the sex and Maxie is happy to hear it. Then they talk about the loyalty and whatever.

Dante and Sonny disagree on what's best for Michael and What Dante Did. Sonny gets a call from the court. It's sentencing time!

-end

May 5 2010

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

Lulu and Dante lay on the couch talking about their day. They go from talking about Michael to talking about pizza.

Skye joins Jax at the metro-court bar. He's drinking and commiserating.

Michael cries in jail. Best way to get raped, Michael. Jason visits. He finally wants to listen to Michael instead of telling him what to do. A bit late, Jason.

Credits: Maybe Matt can do something really bad and be Michael's cell mate. Then he'd get some airtime.

Dante surprises Lulu with cheese. Dante wants to make some Italian dish. Because he's Italian. And all Italian's cook.

Michael tells Jason how Dante helped him. I roll my eyes as he talks about Sonny and his claustrophobia. Yeah, it's a good thing the big ol' mobster didn't get thrown in there. Jason wants Michael to think about whales. So he can sleep. Yeah, I don't know.

Skye and Jax talk about Michael's woes and babies and cover-ups and truth.

Olivia hugs Johnny as he thinks about his sister. Wait... He talks about what a dick his dad was and how Claudia protected him by punching a guard in the nose. Wasn't it shown that Claudia was a shy wall-flower as a child?

Dante teaches Lulu had to dice gross tomatoes. They talk about recipes and people who want to poison them. Lulu worries that Jason will come after Dante.

Johnny pours some wine as Olivia buttons her blouse. Did we miss them have sex? Olivia wants to go - I guess we did. They argue about Johnny's life choices. Johnny just wants Olivia to spend the night.

Jax tells Skye about Claire. She doesn't understand why Dante turned Michael in. Jax feels bad that he couldn't protect Michael.

Robin(!) puts Emma to bed when there's a knock at the door. It's Jason.

Oops! Lulu cut her finger, so Dante puts a band-aid around it. He pours wine. This is a pretty mellow episode as compared to the last few. They cheers each other.

Jax wants to salvage his marriage. I like that Jax is so friendly with all his exes. Skye encourages Jax to work on his marriage and stop wasting his time on Sonny.

Jason hates that he brought Michael into his life and Sonny's. Robin remembers that Jason gave everything to Michael. Does she also remember how she told AJ he was Michael's father?

In his cell, Michael remembers Jason's words as he tries to shut everything out so he can sleep.

Johnny and Olivia cuddle. He jokes about leaving the business. He wants to know if she would move in with him if he changed.

Lulu and Dante are finished with dinner. They talk about how they both got yelled at by Carly.

Jason says he came to Robin to apologize to her. He says she was right to tell AJ that he was Michael's father. Robin thinks that Michael may not have been better off with the Quartermaines.

Johnny and Olivia talk about more stuff I don't care about. Time for sex.

Lulu and Dante....seriously, are there no story lines left now that Michael is in jail? Lulu says she has to leave to go to work. Dante asks her to stay. He wants her to spend the night. She does. Time for sex. Part II.

Patrick comes home to Robin who is going through baby pictures of Michael. She tells him about Jason. Time for sex part III?

Jason comes home to Sam who has too much chinese food! He tells her about Michael.

Jax visits Michael. Geez - how long are visiting hours? Jax tells him that he's sorry.

Robin talks more about Jason. Patrick tells Robin that she turned him on to love and he can't understand what it was like for her to lose Stone. Well of course Robin was your first love - you can't have great loves until you arrive in Port Charles.

Sam tries to cheer up Jason. Oh GOD, I'm so freaking bored.

Michael tells Jax he has nothing to feel sorry for. He understands why Jax wanted to protect Michael from Sonny's life. He wants that for Morgan but thinks it's too late for him. He says he can take care of himself. Yeah? Why don't you get a cellmate. And then start crying again.

Dante lights candles which is the unequivocal beginning of sex. And so it begins... Lulu thinks they're going to be interrupted but he says he unplugged the phone and jokes(?) that he threw the cell phones out the window. I hope it's worth it, kids. And they finally do it.

-end

May 4 2010

We begin where we left off: Michael says he did kill Claudia but the judge wants Michael to repeat the question and answer it again because the powers that be want to milk this as the entire teaser. After a flashback and ramblings by the judge regarding the rules of the court and warnings to answer the question, even though he did and more ramblings about Dante's testimony, the question is asked again. Michael answers, "Yes". Again. But this, too, is not good enough for the judge. He needs to hear "the words". Worst. Judge. Ever. And so Michael says all the words.

And after one scene, we get the credits.

And now the judge wants him to explain the whole thing. He starts with the party and tells the Judge everything we already know about what happened that night. Carly cries and everyone looks solemn. After the story, Michael tells the Judge that Sonny was never there. I really hope Carly gets jail time for perjury and Sam, Jason and Sonny get some for covering up a murder. The judge asks Michael if he meant to kill Claudia. He says he was just trying to save his mom and sister. The judge commends Dante and announces future sentencing for Michael. No trial? I mean was that really his trial? He doesn't get a jury? Diane tries to intercede but the Judge won't hear about bail. Dante requests to take Michael for processing. The judge allows it. Dante officially arrests Michael and Mirandizes him. He leads Michael off. After they leave, the judge drops all the charges against Sonny and then reprimands everyone. And I mean everyone. And finishes with a "get the hell out of my court room."

Gosh! 12 minutes down and only one scene.

Diane and Claire commiserate the possibility of being prosecuted. Olivia warns Jason to stay away from her son. She's glad that Lulu is in Dante's corner. Jax asks Claire what the Judge will do with Michael. Claire is more worried about her own ass - and I don't blame her. She thinks Carly did the most harm with all of the perjuring. She thinks the best Michael will get is a suspended sentence and mandatory therapy but she thinks Carly may not be so lucky.

Sonny talks to Carly and wonders what she's planning. Carly yells at Sonny: "I saw my son being handcuffed by your bastard". Ooooh...snap!

Dante books Michael. Michael wants to know why Dante turned him in. Dante explains that he did it for him. He wants a better life for him. People keep bringing up Michael's brain damage but he doesn't exactly ever act like someone with brain damage.

Sonny and Carly stupidly think that Dante wants to hurt Michael. They yell at each other. She blames Dante for everything. And once again it's everyone's fault but hers. Betrayal! Then she yells at Lulu again. But that's kinda Lulu's stupid fault for trying to approach her. And then Tracy! TRACY! Tracy lashes out with "Why are you blaming Lulu for a situation you created? You stole Michael from the Quartermaines. You gave him to Sonny. You have nobody but yourself to blame for all this misery!" FUCKING AWESOME.

Tracy and Carly have words while Michael gets mug shot and fingerprinted and gets put in jail.

Alice is disappointed when the judge tells the jury that the case has been dismissed. She tries to argue but the Judge tells him that Sonny's son confessed. Inappropriate! Diane congratulates Sonny for being a free man.

Jason's pad. He wants Spinelli to hack into the PCPD to make sure that Michael is treated well. Yes, do more crime. Jason thinks that Sonny now knows who Dante is.

At the docks, Olivia makes Sonny promise that Jason won't go after Dante. Sonny blah blah blahs...you kept him from me! blah blah blah, Dante betrayed me...! Oh the betrayal! Olivia finally speaks the truth: "This is happening to Michael because of you." She's floored that he can't see that. Welcome to the club, doll.

Carly waits at the PCPD interrogation room for Michael. Dante enters.

Carly calmly tells Dante that she wants to see her son. Dante tries to soften things but Carly starts to get annoyed. After he says that he's doing what's best for Michael because if Sonny had gotten away with murder, "Michael would have been sucked further into the mob", she asks, "Who the hell are you to make that pronouncement. Do you have some God-given ability to see the future?" Do you, Carly? I mean what did you think would happen to your guilt-ridden son when he saw his father be put away for a murder he committed? Dante tries to explain that Michael wanted to follow in Sonny's footsteps. Carly thinks Sonny would never allow it. Dante reasons that they couldn't stop him.

Olivia tries to make Sonny realize that his lifestyle is horrible for his kids. He doesn't get it. It's like talking to a brick wall. She's still not satisfied that Jason won't go after Sonny. She wants him to call Jason off.

Carly hugs her son and yells at Dante to get out. Michael doesn't want his mom to be mad at him but she isn't.

Spinelli updates Sam and Jason of his crime-related help. Jason wants Spinelli to join Bernie down in the Caribbean. Spinelli thinks Jason is going to kill Dante.

Carly assures Michael that he'll get a suspended sentence. Michael says that Dante said the same thing. Carly tells Michael not to trust Dante. A cop interrupts them to say that time is up. They reassure each other that everything will be fine and then part.

Jason doesn't answer the question which makes Spinelli thinks he's right. Jason blames himself. Spinelli tries to reason with Jason that if he's tied to this murder, Jason will go to jail for life....plus other reasons.

Johnny and Olivia commiserate about the whole mess. Johnny tells Olivia he'll keep going after Sonny.

Lulu and Dante meet at his loft.

Sonny visits Michael in his cell.

Olivia begs Johnny not to put his life in danger. She wants Johnny to stop the violence. As much as I like Johnny and Olivia together, she's a big ol' hypocrite for trading one mobster for another.

Carly arrives home. She tries to act brave for Morgan and tells him what happened. Morgan cries for his brother.

Dante tells Lulu what happened with Michael. He's glad Lulu has faith in him. Lulu is upset about Carly. Dante has faith that Michael will be free after Friday.

Michael and Sonny have a moment apologizing to each other....and then Sonny ruins it by blaming Dante. UGH. This guy. Jason watches as they talk.

Can we get a new story line tomorrow?

-end

May 3 2010

Lucky's gun is on Jason. Jason doesn't think Lucky will shoot him. Lucky, "Not in any place that will kill ya". Hee! Michael doesn't want anyone shot because of him. Jason just wants to take Michael away. Lucky wants to do what Michael wants. Jason informs Lucky of what transpired at the court house.

Claire is pissed that Jax knew everything. He argues that Sonny needs to pay for his lifetime of his crimes. Claire threatens that if her career goes down because of this (and I don't see why it would..), that he'll go down with her. Or on her?

Carly yells at Lulu. Lulu insists that Dante is the only one who is doing the right thing.

Sonny wants to know why Dante would hurt Michael. Dante is trying to save Michael so he doesn't grow up to be like Sonny.

Credits: Matt: Why couldn't I have been a Corinthos? Then I could get more screen time.

Jax house: Kristina and Molly meet Morgan there. He tells them that Ronnie was there looking for Michael. Kristina tells Morgan about what Dante did at court. Morgan can't believe that Dante give up Michael. Molly reminds him that Dante tricked him into giving away Michael's location. To the court room!

Carly and Lulu argue. Words like 'bitch' and 'selfish' pass Carly's lips. That's the bitch calling the kettle selfish.

Sonny doesn't understand this word called 'justice'. All he knows is the word 'protection'. Dante tries...but it's like teaching a stupid dog new tricks. Of course Sonny turns it into being about him and Dante tells him, "it's not about you!" But...Sonny Corinthos doesn't understand those words. Dante tells him that he wants to get Michael away from Sonny and his lifestyle.

Jax tells Claire to 'think like a lawyer." Claire threatens that he doesn't want her to think like a lawyer because she can prosecute him. Jax changes the subject by asking her if she thinks the judge believed Carly about Sonny killing Claudia. She thinks they need to still find Michael and Michael needs to agree with Carly's story.

Johnny talks badly about Dante to Olivia. He doesn't get why people protect Sonny. Me neither. Olivia tells Johnny that Dante is just doing his duty as a cop. Johnny thinks Jason will kill Dante over this.

Michael tells Jason he was going to confess anyway if his dad was found guilty. Jason and Lucky argue some more. Lucky yells at Jason to stop living Michael's life for him. Jason still doesn't budge. He pleads with Lucky to turn his head for 30 seconds. Lucky takes Michael away and Jason instructs Michael to wait for Diane. After they leave, Jason calls Diane and tells her to go to the PCPD.

Olivia doesn't think that Jason would kill a cop - but Johnny insists he will and he'll make it look like an accident. Johnny is furious with Dante, but doesn't want to see anything happen that will hurt Olivia.

Sonny: "blah blah blah, protection." Dante, "Your 'protection' hasn't done anything". Dante says he's only concerned with Michael having a better life.

Carly and Lulu.....ugh... so repetitive.

Claire thinks Jax is arrogant for framing Sonny. They argue some more....and I don't care. This whole episode is boring. It's just everyone blaming everyone else. Everyone else is wrong! No one owns up to anything.

Lucky brings Michael in. Diane tries to intervene but Mac stops her. He tells her that he needs to be processed first. Michael tries to tell Diane he's OK but she warns him to say nothing. Mac assures Diane that everything will be done by the book. Michael hasn't been arrested yet so he hasn't been 'Mirandized'. Wow....my mac recognized that word. Anyway, Mac Mirandizes Michael. Lucky takes him away for processing. Jason comes rushing in. Diane tells him that Mac wouldn't let Michael anywhere near her. Jason panics because this is the Worst Thing Ever.

Sam arrives at the PCPD. He fills her in and tells her the Judge wants to talk to Michael directly.

Lucky goes into judge's chambers. The judge is weary that Lucky didn't properly arrest him. He's confused to why Lucky brought him in despite Michael's confession to Dante and that Michael's been missing for weeks. Lucky says his orders were to serve the subpoena only. The Judge thinks he's being played. He thinks the reason why Lucky didn't arrest Michael was because he would have had to tell the court everything that Michael said.

Carly doesn't want to talk to Jax right now! Blah blah blah. Carly is mad at the world. All this is everyone's fault but hers! Jax wants to find away to fix this because apparently Carly is that good in bed.

Lulu and Dante commiserate. They both believe they're doing the right thing for Michael even though it looks like a betrayal to everyone else. Dante wants to teach Michael about being a good, honorable, law-abiding person! The wrath of Morgan comes in. He wants to know why Dante would give up their brother!

Olivia visits Sonny.....and there is more arguing. Betrayal! The Betrayal! To Sonny, it's Un. Forgivable. He actually says it like it's two words. Olivia brings up that Sonny shot Dante. IN THE CHEST. She wonders if he's going to finish the job. I'm not fast forwarding through the commercial right away because I'm dreading the..."I didn't know he was my son!" defense.

Jason tells Sam about Lucky holding a gun on him. Sam tells him that he needs to figure out a way to get Michael out of this.

The Judge asks Lucky if he has any ties to Michael. Cousins! The judge wants to know why Lucky didn't recuse himself from the case. Because everyone in Port Charles is fucking related. He says Mac asked him to find Michael. The judge asks Michael some psychological and totally inappropriate questions about Michael...which I don't think would ever happen. Lucky makes an impassioned speech about Michael.

Dante explains to Morgan why he did what he did. Dante is more optimistic than anyone else that nothing bad will happen to Michael. Morgan is worried that Michael will go to jail and Molly argues that Dante doesn't even like Michael that much. Dante says it's more complicated than that.

Olivia wants to know if Jason will kill Dante. Sonny says that if it were anyone else, they'd be dead. Olivia thinks if Sonny just told the truth...but Sonny was trying to 'protect'...blah blah blah. And don't worry, Sonny. Carly will never go to jail for perjury. He keeps using the words, "going after..." and doesn't realize that Dante's not "going after" anyone. He also uses the word "betrayal" a whole bunch of times until the word loses all meaning.

Carly finally admits to some blame by saying she shouldn't have gone along with the cover-up. She regrets the way Michael was brought up and she appreciates how Jax has brought Morgan up. Nice...how long will that last? She doesn't see a way back for them, but she hopes Jax will remain a constant in Morgan's life. They're interrupted by the phone. A judge clerk tells her about Michael.

Lulu and Dante try to reason with the kids who aren't making it easy. Morgan seems to understand though - which he tells Carly when she frantically runs over to her son. Carly instructs Kristina to take the kids home. She yells at Dante for lying to Morgan about Michael being OK.

Diane and Claire return to the court. They both agree that the case has gotten out of control and that Judge Carroll is playing by his own rules and they don't even know why they're there. It's a nice little camaraderie between lawyers.

Outside, Lulu comforts Dante. He sees his mom walking in with Sonny and goes to talk to her while Sonny comes to talk to Lulu. He, too, gets on her case. Lulu tiredly tries to explain again that they're trying to help Michael. Sonny: "You're not the person I thought you were." UGH - so. hypocritical. Head. Going. To. Explode.
On the other side, Dante wants to know why Olivia is showing up with Sonny. She's worried about him and warns him to stay out of trouble.
Jason and Sam watch them all go into the courtroom.

Who's Sonny blaming now? Diane! For not being able to get close to Michael. Diane snits that she told him to let Michael tell the truth from the beginning. She says it's out of her hands.

Everyone sits and gets ready for the Judge to enter. Hey! Mike is there! The Judge says he'll question Michael himself and there will be no interruptions. He makes a list of Nos. Michael enters in cuffs. They're removed before he sits down. First question, "Michael Corinthos III, did you kill your step-mother?"

DUN!