June 28 2010

First of all, congratulations to Julie Berman for her win last night. Go Lulu!

Sonny explains to Luke that Johnny "has to die". Because...he held hands with Kristina. And this guy is somehow still popular with fans? He says it'll be a car bomb and no one innocent will be harmed. Yeah...remember that car bomb that was meant for you and killed your wife and unborn child? How quickly we forget. It would serve him right if Kristina ended up getting into that car instead of Johnny. Luke thinks the problem is that everyone will know he did it. Sonny doesn't listen to reason because he's Sonny. He just knows that Johnny has to die. Finally, Luke brings up Lily. And he says he hopes Kristina doesn't get caught in the same situation. Do I know this show or what?

Kristina has walked in on Johnny and Olivia doin' the nasty. Olivia tells Kristina to get out. Kristina says it's up to Johnny.

Lulu listens to Brook Lynn talking to Michael about Sonny and Dante. Lulu wants to know why Brook is encouraging Michael to see Sonny when she knows it's against his probation. Brook insists that she's talking long-term. Lulu doesn't want Dante to be a part of Sonny's life ever.

Dante explains the terms of Jason's release to him. Jason's only request is a gun. And the deals off it doesn't happen.

Credits: Lisa/Steve day. I guess Matt and Maxie's storyline is done?

Steve and Lisa "welcome" Patrick to the hospital even though he's still on suspension. Patrick is there as a patient; he slammed his hand in Emma's toy chest. Not very smart for a surgeon. He snarks about some diagnosis on Lisa's computer and then takes it back because he's still on suspension. Passive-aggressive Port Charles!

Michael doesn't want Brook and Lulu to fight but they do anyway. Michael comes to Sonny's defense regarding shooting Dante in the chest. He says that Sonny had just found out that Dante was an undercover cop and that's the way it works. Well that's lame, Michael. Because shooting people is not the way life works. That's why we have laws. Lulu continues to hate Sonny anyway. Brook thinks that not everyone has to hate Sonny. Sure...but they aren't reading my recaps. They argue some more until Brook excuses himself.

Dante and Jason argue about the terms of the deal especially the sticking point of having a gun.

Johnny and Olivia are clothed now. Kristina gets nasty. Olivia realizes at this point that Kristina and Johnny aren't having sex. Kristina thinks that Olivia is just using Johnny to save Sonny.

Sonny says bringing up Lily hurt Truth hurts. Luke tactfully says there are similarities. Sonny doesn't think there are. Really Sonny? Jealous father....acts irrationally....car bomb... No. No similarities there. He wants to know how Luke would feel if it were a teenage Lulu. First of all, Lulu was having sex as a teenager...and she dated Johnny for a long time too. Someone send Sonny some recaps? But Sonny's got it all figured out. So...tired... When's this going to go down? Friday cliffhanger! And he has Kristina's where-abouts all taken care of too. How could anything possibly go wrong??

Steve and Patrick blah blah blah about a patient.

Lulu and Michael discuss Sonny. She says it's ok to love his dad, but not to be like him. Lulu explains why she doesn't want Dante to get close to Sonny. She doesn't want Sonny to take advantage of Dante.

Dante and Jason argue some more about the gun issue. The problem is there's no trust between them. Dante thinks he'll catch Franco. He wants Jason to be the bait. Jason doesn't think that'll work. Dante says he'll be back tomorrow.

Kristina continues to goad Olivia who wants to call Alexis. Olivia yells at Kristina and says her lies almost got Ethan killed and this time her lies are going to get more people killed. She also thinks it has to do with Kiefer. I really have no idea why Johnny isn't on Olivia's side. He knows this will all end in tears....blood. But then Kristina gets all out of control about her dad and how he degrades women....because that's what this idiocy is all about. And Johnny should know this and stop it. He finally gets Kristina to leave. Olivia can't believe how far this has gotten. Johnny wonders if Kristina was right about sleeping with him to protect Sonny.

Luke thinks Anthony will retaliate. Duh. Sonny again doesn't listen to reason. He says that Morgan is safe with Carly and Jax. Yeah...sure. Luke tries a different tactic by brining up Kristina saying she's going to know. But it's like talking to a three year old brick wall.

Patrick leaves with his overly bandaged hand. Steve and Lisa joke about it after he leaves.

Olivia and Johnny cry over spilled relationship.

Claire is pissed at being summoned by Jason....she argues against the gun thing. Jason argues for it.

Lulu comes to see Sonny. She tells him about Jason and Franco and the great 80s sitcom idea. She wants Sonny to make sure Jason doesn't escape. Sonny doesn't think Dante losing his badge would be a bad thing...because he's a dick. Finally he tells Lulu he'll make sure Jason doesn't run but he wants something in return. He wants her to stop talking badly about him to his kids.

Bar of one night stands: Patrick gets a beer at Jake's. Lisa comes in and spars/banters....and yeah, we all know where they'll end up.

Johnny and Olivia continue to break up for good. Olivia leaves in tears.

Claire is worried about Jason escaping and her losing her job. Jason tries to convince her that he has no reason to escape because he'd never be able to come home. She says if they're going to release Jason, it has to be on their terms.

Lulu is back at home wanting to cook for Michael. She tries not to be insulted when he suggests take-out. He guesses that Lulu went to see Sonny. Dante comes home and tells Lulu and Michael that Jason will be released tomorrow. She tells him about her talk with Sonny.

Sonny is a little irked that Lulu went to Sonny. They fight a little which is new. It's actually nice to see them argue like a normal couple. She doesn't want him to risk his life. He says it's his life to risk. She insists that his life is her life....or something more romantic and less wordy than that.

Brook arrives at Jake's and Coleman is happy to see her. She tells him about her metro-court gig that we've yet to see. She asks about Johnny.

Patrick and Lisa play pool and drink beer. Just get to it, already. He says something pretty flirty and egotistical to her which finally makes her get a back bone. She leaves. But for how long?

Brook continues to talk about Coleman's clientele. And....enter Johnny on cue. Brook goes to join him and manipulates her way into his night.

Olivia finds Lulu crying on the docks. Lulu tells her that Dante is stubborn and going to get himself thrown in prison.

Sonny goes to visit Jason. He tells Jason about the plan with Johnny. He also asks Jason not to run.

Patrick follows Lisa to her house. They yell about stupid stuff while I'm just waiting for them to kiss. He finally calls her bluff.

Olivia commiserates with Lulu about Dante. She knows how stubborn he can be. Lulu tells Olivia about the whole Jason/Franco plan.

Dante rues arguing with Lulu. He tells Michael about Jason being unarmed. Michael gets pissed that Jason won't have protection.

Jason still holds a grudge against Dante for putting Michael in prison. Sonny insists that Dante helped Michael get out but according to Jason, that's not enough. Oh and then something weird happens: Sonny talks some sense. Jason wants Dante behind bars to know the hell Michael went through....for a month. Sonny says that if Dante ends up in jail, Michael will be back there too. Words of wisdom...from Sonny's lips...against violence. Did I just see a pig fly outside my window?

And we end up on Patrick goading Lisa calling her on her shit. Again, Lisa makes fun of Patrick the daddy. And finally they kiss.

-end

June 24 2010

OMG! It's raining! Let's interrupt your favorite soap... Those weathermen...love their weather. Well I'm looking outside right now and the skies are blue. Most useless. Job. Ever. Except this one...

And I missed the entire teaser....Credits!

We begin with Luke continuing his pity party. He drunkenly tells his sons that he "belongs" with Tracy. He wants to take her back to Vegas and do it all sober. The last part makes his boys laugh. Lucky thinks he needs to be more sincere with Tracy. Ethan agrees. Luke dismisses their advice. Maya comes by. He wants Maya to help him talk to Tracy face to face.

Carly is scared about Franco. Michael tries to calm her down. Carly makes a phone call to someone she "needs".

Dante and Claire argue about Jason. He wants to let Jason out to deal with Franco; She's just glad a criminal is finally in jail. And who wouldn't be in this town? Dante, apparently. She accuses him once again of focusing on something else so he won't have to deal with his dad.

Alexis begs Jason for help but he thinks talking to Johnny would be fruitless.

Sam tries to get through to Kristina but Johnny argues the other side. Sonny crashes the party. He demands Kristina come home with him. Kristina, "You've tried that before, fuckwad. Don't you remember yesterday? I'm not your property and I'm of age, so fuck off." Actually what she says is, "No, dad, I'm not". But the other stuff was said by her eyes.

Sonny once again tells her to go with him. Try asking, Dick. She refuses again. Sam tells Kristina not to be rude to her father and if she wants to be treated like an adult, she should act like one. Seems to me, she's acting as an adult just fine. Just because Sam disagrees with her actions, doesn't mean she's acting like a child. I mean, she is acting like a child...just not in this particular case. Sam wants them to talk it out. Kristina says they already tried that in therapy. Somehow Sam convinces Kristina to go with Sonny...although I don't know exactly how. Alone now, Sam wants to know how Johnny could be so stupid. Have you seen this show, Sam? Everyone is stupid.

Alexis begs Jason some more. Jason thinks Johnny isn't the problem, Kristina is and that they need to get through to her. Alexis leaves saying she admires him for what he did for Michael....giving up five years of his life to protect him for a month. Yeah...see the last sentence of the above paragraph.

Carly shows Jax the photograph from Franco. She tells him about the photograph Franco left at Josselyn's christening. Jax is pissed that Carly never told him about that.

Luke wants Maya to give him the new security codes to the mansion so he can see Tracy face to face. Why doesn't he just ask Alice to let him in? I guess Maya needs some sort of storyline. Luke tries to explain why he needs to see Tracy. Lucky and Ethan do their part to convince Maya as well.

At the mansion, Tracy dictates some orders to some hot male secretary(?). She also wants to fire Alice! Luke comes in and tells prettyboy to leave. Tracy tells Luke to get out but he won't leave. She finally dismisses her prettyboy and argues with Luke. She even calls the police. Luke gets down on one knee and proposes.

Back at Lucky's, it's a party! Maya sips some ice tea while Ethan plays pool and Lucky thanks her for helping Luke. Maya asks Ethan why Luke can't stay with him at his big luxurious (fake) penthouse!

Dante and Claire arrive at the Jax's. They share information with Carly and Jax. Dante says he has a plan to draw Franco out.

Johnny visits Jason in jail. Why? My God - does Jason actually spend time in jail? They discuss Kristina.

Sonny and Kristina "talk" at the restaurant. They argue about Johnny. And yell. And Sonny gets all territorial and demanding just like an abuser. But he doesn't hit women! And Kristina actually dares him to hit her.

Before things can get worse (too late), Alexis interrupts the feuding father and daughter. Sonny tries to get Alexis to agree with him...which she does. But Kristina calmly explains to her mother that she won't have a relationship with her dad and storms off.

Johnny says he's not trying to hurt Kristina. He also compares Sonny to his own dad which Jason seems to have a problem with....and the comparison isn't far off. Jason warns Johnny that if things go too far, Kristina won't forgive herself. Why is he there again?

Before Dante can tell his plan, Claire interrupts and says that it's a matter for interpol. Dante gets Carly's statement and he and Claire leave. But not before Dante tells Carly she did the right thing for calling him.

Ethan and Lucky explain their dad to Maya evading the apartment conversation. Maya leaves to go to the hospital. Lucky is amused with Ethan for lying about Johnny's penthouse.

Luke continues to propose and convince Tracy to marry him. The doorbell rings and she warns him to get out before the police come. The police enter the living room and arrest Luke for trespassing.

Back at the PCPD, Lucy meets his handcuffed dad. Luke's pretty depressed that Tracy didn't respond to his pleas.

Sonny and Alexis argue about Kristina and their parenting tactics.

Kristina cries outside Johnny's pad. Johnny comes home and lets her in while Kristina whines about her dad.

Soaking in a bubble bath, Sam answers the phone. It's Jason....with a line of convicts behind him. She describes what she's (not) wearing wanting to have a little phone sex....but Jason's uncomfortable... with a line of convicts waiting behind him.

Jax has made arrangements for everyone to have bodyguards. He's thankful that Carly called him.

Kristina talks about her childhood and lack of father figure. She wants Johnny to take everything away from Sonny.

Sonny blah blah blah blahs to his bodyguards, Max and Milo. He's apparently given them orders to do something bad to Johnny...

Sam wants Jason to talk and he's all mumbly. And she finally realizes that he has an audience until the guard sends them all back to their cells. But...Jason gets five more minutes. Because he's Jason.

At the PCPD, Claire gives Dante the good news that they're releasing Jason into Dante's custody. She says if Jason runs, Dante will be arrested for aiding and abetting. D'oh! It's like an 80's sitcom!

-end

June 14 2010

So it was my birthday weekend and I drank tons. I'm feeling better now.

Claire calls Sonny flat out crazy or an ingenious manipulator which turns out is not exclusive of each other since he's both. She needs some eyeshadow. She wants to know what gives Sonny the right to kill Johnny while she looks the other way. Because he's an arrogant S.O.B.

And the reason why Sonny's in such a tiff - Kristina is hanging out at Johnny's with a plan. She wants to pretend she's Johnny's girlfriend. Johnny's not so sure about the plan. He tries to get out of it by being an understanding big brother-type. I'm not even sure what she would get out of this especially since she admits it'll just make her dad out-of-control crazy. Does she really want her dad in prison that badly? And from this plan, the thing that will put him in jail is killing Johnny. Not exactly a win-win here.

Dante quickly puts the picture that Franco sent him away while Lulu jokingly walks out in a towel doing a Brooklyn accent saying she was accidentally locked out. But she sees Dante is upset.

Also upset? Prisoner McRapist. 'Cause Jason just killed him. Before he dies, Prisoner McRapist lets slip that Franco "wants to play". Jason demands to know where Franco is. Why should he tell you? You stabbed him! Prisoner McRapist agrees with me and dies instead of telling Jason anything more.

Credits: Lisa/Steve day.

Jason realizes Michael was watching and yells at him to get back to his cell.

Lulu thinks making fun of Brook Lynn was what made Dante upset. He tries to change the subject but she wants to know what's up. She steers the conversation back to what's bothering him and he says it's just some case that he thought was ended...which I guess isn't an outright lie. Of course the phone rings and it's Maxie. Maxie has some emergency but Lulu wants to have sex. Dante tells her it's ok and that he wants to investigate this "cold case". After she goes, Dante calls someone to come over.

Sonny denies that he wants to kill Johnny. Claire repeats his sentence about killing Johnny Zacharra word for word. They argue about what the law means. She calls him lots of accurate names - but we all know she's going to end up in bed with him. This upsets me. But I will continue to like Claire until that happens. Bottom line, she threatens that if Johnny shows up dead, she'll prosecute Sonny to the fullest extent of the law.

Kristina whines about how Sonny tortured Claudia. Johnny doesn't want to use her but she says she's willing. He asks her what I asked earlier in the episode: "What does [she] get out of it?" She just wants him to hurt. He asks her to elaborate and how she sees it playing out. She asks if it matters? Johnny, "it does if I'm dead in the end, yeah." Exactly what I said. I could right this show. Which doesn't say much. She assures him that he won't die and that he'll go to jail if he tries. Johnny thinks she should be channeling all that hate energy into something positive and realizes the irony of his being the one to say that.

Luke and Tracy are still stuck in their cell arguing about their fake marriage. He insists he's still in love with her but she thinks he's just in love with her money. Nikolas comes and opens the gates. Luke thinks he's working with Helena.

I just realized that Dante's place reminds me of Courtney's old place. Ah well. Lulu, now dressed, talks about Maxie and how stupid she is...and I don't disagree. She brings up Franco which makes Dante go off on him and how he hurt his girlfriend. They kiss and part ways. Dante takes out the photo again.

Kristina wants to know why Johnny is being so noble/stubborn. He insists he's not a nice guy. He further explains why he can't do this plan. She says she feels safe with him but assures him it's not sexual. She leaves saying if he changes his mind, the offer is still open.

Carly stops by her bar at the metro court and asks Patrick where his dinner companions are. Patrick snidely says that Lisa and Steve are probably sexing it up somewhere. He tells her that Robin is off in Africa. She snidely says, "it must be lonely having a saint for a wife." She tells the bartender that Patrick's tab is on the house and they weirdly flirt. Carly goads him a bit about Lisa.

Nicholas wants to know if Helena locked them in the cell for a good reason. Tracy, "And people call the Quartermaines crazy." Hee. She says there's no reason to lock someone in a dungeon and it almost killed her. Luke takes this as an opportunity to placate his non-wife by telling her more than Nicholas that his undying love and devotion brought her back to health. Nicholas says he'll have them both flown out of there right away. Lucky who was listening to the last sentence, steps in and says that was "awfully big of [him]". But I think he's being sarcastic because he says it all mean-like.

Patrick tells Carly that he has the wrong impression. She thinks she doesn't. He insists he wouldn't cheat on Robin but Carly doesn't buy it.

Back at the cell, Jason tells Michael that he needs his help. He makes sure that Michael denies he knows anything. And not to speak up for him or defend him. Michael says he's learned not to trust the cops and Jason immediately regrets his entire existence. He tells Michael that that's not what he's supposed to learn. But why not? Jason doesn't trust cops. Why should Michael? This reminds me of a fantasy I once had of Jason dressed as a cop. It's not so much that I want him to be a cop....I just think he'd look hot in that uniform. *rowr*

Ronnie is delightfully surprised that Dante called him. Dante gives him the picture and exposits that ever since Franco was labeled a serial killer, the public can't get enough of him. Dante thinks the picture may mean that Franco is killing again. Ronnie thinks that Dante wants to go after Franco so he can avoid going after Sonny.

UGH. Claire is still at Sonny's? This should have ended three scenes ago. They goad and threaten each other and there's nothing new. He thinks the plan might be to take him down instead of Johnny. She wants to know if he's accusing her of a double cross. Yes. Now go home.

Nicholas sends Tracy and Luke upstairs where some guy is going to take them to Athens. Nicholas thinks he done good but Lucky doesn't want to thank him.

Patrick casually changes the subject towards Carly's son. She says it's hard but is glad Jason is in there to protect him. Patrick admits that what Jason did was admirable despite pretty much hating him. Carly takes an incoming phone call. It's Brook telling her that Dante is gone and Lulu just walked in.

Michael wants to know what Prisoner McRapist told Jason. Jason doesn't want to say but insists it wasn't about Michael. He's bothered about all that Michael is learning. Michael says he's learned that killing is about staying alive; not fear and respect.

And Claire is still there. She repeats her terms: If he tricks Johnny into committing an illegal act, she'll arrest Johnny but if Sonny is caught committing an illegal act, she'll arrest Sonny. He somehow starts talking about his kids and their problems and his problems not seeing his kids...and stuff. And I don't know why. They finally finalize the deal. And she finally leaves.

Lucky criticizes Helena's actions but Nikolas defends it because Luke plays the same games. Lucky reminds him that Helena kidnapped him for a year and messed with his head. Something that never really got addressed with the other two Luckys and I hope they delve into that a bit more. He says that Elizabeth was the only thing that got him through all of it and Nikolas came along and took her away from him.

Olivia comes in to talk about a bartender; Sonny tells her to leave because he's meeting Johnny there. But too late, cause Johnny comes in asks him if he should get upset because he's hanging out with his "lady". He tells Sonny to not push his buttons because he won't like how he pushes back.

Dante visits Jason in jail and shows him the picture.

Nikolas doesn't really get it. He says that what Helena did had nothing to do with him and that Elizabeth chose to be with him. Lucky says it's not about Elizabeth; it's about the brother who he trusted.....and then shuts him in the cell.

Sonny makes empty threats while Olivia watches. Johnny makes the same empty threats and leaves.

Carly and Brook Lynn stage a fake fight for Lulu's behalf. Carly fakes a threat to fire Brook for trying to seduce Dante. Brook fake insists that she didn't. Lulu hears this, comes out and tells everyone that it's all ok! Sucker.

Jason plays the staring game and Dante gets mad. The warden walks in and tells Jason, "I warned you what would happen if you caused trouble here".

-end

June 10 2010

Ok, so I've been really crappy lately. I've missed almost two weeks. I'll try to be better, I promise :)

So Luke and Tracy are still in their little dungeon cell and I don't see a toilet anywhere. Luke screams for Helena. He does everything from yelling Fire! to screaming that Tracy died to threatening Helena's life if his wife dies. Tracy awakens and gives Luke the bad news (spoiler!) that she remembers their wedding.

Brook Lynn makes up some stupid story about the cable guy to show why she's a big naked slut in front of Dante's door. She ends with, "I need you, Dante. I need you bad". (-ly) And no one in the audience is fooled into thinking that she means what we're supposed to think she means.

Carly pretends she's not mad at Lulu anymore but Sonny sees right through it.

Michael wants to know what Jason is going to do to Prisoner McRapist. And it's still unclear if Prisoner McRapist has lived up to his name.

Credits: It's a Matt/Epiphany day.

Kristina shows Molly some photos she took of the harbor to send to Michael so "he won't feel trapped". Or it may make him feel even more trapped seeing what he can't have. Molly compares Michael to some guy in a novel she's reading...blah blah blah. When she describes the 1920s cliche part of the book where someone gets slapped and then passionately kissed, Kristina gets all wiggy. Then Molly gets all wiggy and apologizes. She runs off and Kristina goes to answer the door: it's Skye.

Ethan visits Johnny and complains about losing money. Johnny tells him where he can get more money. Something about mob money/meeting...whatever. I'm bored. I don't want the head of Sonny Corinthos being cut off only to have Johnny's sprout in it's place. They joke about car bombs which makes Ethan all wiggy (that's three!) until Johnny lures him back with the prospect of gaining ten grand. Also? This guy they're seeing knows and respects Luke.

You know who's the last person you want walking in when you're hot neighbor is wet in a towel in your apartment? Your girlfriend. Lulu overhears sex talk, but it's really lock talk. And Brook is dressed in a Dante-sized shirt.

Carly continues to try to explain why she's not mad at Lulu even though she is. Sonny doesn't buy it. Carly wonders aloud if Michael would be in prison if he'd grown up a Quartermaine with AJ. Probably. But for different reasons. Sonny's offended, of course. Because AJ was an alcoholic which is so much better than being a mobster. /sarcasm.

Michael doesn't want Jason to kill Prisoner McRapist. Jason only knows the rules of the mob which apparently are the same rules of the prison. They argue. Michael makes some sense and seems to be getting through to Jason.

Tracy describes what she remembers from their wedding.

Maxie cut her hair like a boy. She actually looks kinda cute. Matt asks her to wait while he finishes up and seems happy to see her. Meanwhile Steve and Lisa talk plans while Patrick listens and grows more jealous. Patrick says he wants to go back to plan A where Lisa buys him dinner and Steve realizes he's been intruding. Maxie watches all of this with extreme interest. Lisa makes the decision that lunch will involve the three of them and leaves. Patrick gets snippy with someone on the phone and Maxie comes over to give her opinion. She wants to know why he's so jealous of someone who's not his girlfriend.

Lulu interrupts the picking a lock thing. Dante continues to struggle (bad cop) while Brook finally explains the stupid cable guy story. He finally gets her in and Lulu gets a little suspicious.

Kristina describes to Skye how hard it's been for her. Skye spits out platitudes.

Carly continues the lie (truth?) that she never should have married Sonny. She says that she, Sonny and Jason are all to blame for where Michael is....but says the person who turned him in was Dante. They argue for a bit more until Carly leaves.

Luke tries to keep Tracy conscious by talking about their vows. He wants to renew their vows. Tracy worries that since Luke is being so loving and romantic that she must be worse than she thought.

Ethan and Johnny play cards and gamble and drink. Johnny calls that guy Lopez.

Kristina visits Michael in jail. They talk about their dad. Michael wants Kristina to give Sonny another chance.

Sonny visits Jason. Is there really no limit to how many visitors someone can get? He asks her about Carly and what's up. Jason keeps mum.

Tracy wants to know why he wants to renew their vows. She says it's something she should remember since she doesn't remember the first time. Luke gets down on one knee and says some sweet vows. I won't transpose but you can tell that it comes from his heart. Tracy starts hers and it's just as sweet. She starts to cough worse.

Patrick defends himself to Maxie who chides him for replacing Robin because he's someone who constantly needs female affection. Matt interrupts and takes his date away. Lisa and Steve come back and Lisa tells Patrick that he was right and they should all study the investment on their own and she'll have dinner with Steve...alone.

Lulu picks up a baseball bat while telling Dante that she has the rest of the day off. But Dante has a meeting with a lawyer about Michael's appeal.

Michael continues to defend their dad but Kristina argues the other side.

Jason and Sonny talk about Carly further. And...boy did I pick the wrong episode to come back on.

Patrick curiously asks Lisa about her involvement with Steve. He doesn't think Steve's her type. She says her tastes have changed.
Matt assures Maxie that Patrick is "crazy in love with Robin". She thinks he's oblivious and that 'players' always cheat. Matt says she should know since she's the one that's cheating.

Skye approaches Ethan about Kristina. She's concerned and wants Ethan to befriend Kristina.

Kristina comes home in a huff and Molly thinks it's about her. Kristina tells her that she's mad at Sonny for Michael's sake. She's mad and will stay mad!!!

In his cell, Michael talks with Jason about Kristina. The guard calls Jason out of his cell while Prisoner McRapist lurks and watches Michael. Remember that tension between Dante and Lulu before they had sex...and they kept getting interrupted and stuff? It's kinda like that. Only creepy.

Luke frets over a dying Tracy. In his fretting, he accidentally let's slip that their Vegas wedding was fake. This wakes Tracy up. Rut Roh!

Brook brings back Dante's shirt, washed and ironed. Lulu begins to lay down the law while Dante eavesdrops.

Johnny's on the phone, happy about the Lopez shipment. Carly comes to visit him with a present. She really spreads that wealth around. I need get to Port Charles soon. She asks Johnny if he and Dante are on good terms.

Kristina comes to the Corinthos mansion to tell her father that she and Michael were talking about him. Kristina insists she knows the truth that Sonny is abusive.

Prisoner McRapist walks into Michael's cell. Michael prepares his karate kid stance. McR informs Michael that the guard owes him favors. Michael starts to fight but he doesn't have to since Jason opens the cell door.

-end

May 25 2010

Retread of Carly telling Lulu not to tell Dante about the abortion. She elaborates by talking about Olivia and her choice. Lulu thinks she should tell Dante the truth.

Brook continues to promote ABC's parent company by singing "When You Wish Upon a Star". That cricket is turning over in his grave. Johnny wants to know who she is.

Liz apologizes for just stopping by to vent but she says tells Lucky she needs him more than ever.

Michael returns to his prison cell and has trouble sitting down. You'll get used to it, Mikey. He asks Jason how it went with Sonny.

Credits: Someone said yesterday that Matt and Epiphany were taken out of the credits for Lisa and Steven. I was all set to comment on this but either they were lying, or it was changed back the next day. Good thing too, because Matt finally got a story line!

Jason assures Michael that he didn't say anything to Sonny. Michael perpetuates the lie that a guard beat him...which I guess is half true. He's also upset to learn that he's messing up Jason's personal life and his business. Jason doesn't regret his decision.

Brook reunites with Dante. She tells him that Lois is touring Europe and living in London. Maxie moves in to tell this bitch to back off on Lulu's behalf but Dante says it's ok because Brook is an old friend. Maxie admits to knowing Brook Lynn and informs Dante that she used to live in Port Charles. Johnny joins the party and Maxie tells everyone that Brook is a Quartermaine. Now that captain exposition has reared his ugly head, can we get going with the plot? Maya is next to join the gang and tells Brook Lynn that they're related. I guess not.

Carly argues against Lulu telling Dante the truth although she claims it's Lulu's decision. Lulu says she'll play it by ear and goes off to Jake's.

Liz talks about how awful Nikolas has been acting. Lucky sympathizes but he says he won't get involved. She wonders if he even cares if she moved to Wyndemere.

Still kidnapped? Tracy. Oh yeah! Skye comes to the haunted star to tell Luke she has news about Tracy. Edward found out that Fiji was a lie. Luke figures out that Tracy has been kidnapped and knows exactly who it is.

Tracy is still wearing the same clothes in her little cell. Helena thinks Luke just doesn't even want to find Tracy. They reference the Wizard of Oz too many times in one minute for my tastes and then Helena finally threatens to kill Tracy if Luke doesn't show up soon.

Luke doesn't know how he could have missed the obvious clues. Skye is pleasantly surprised at how much Luke loves Tracy.

Helena and Tracy snark and banter.

Lucky tries not to care about Elizabeth moving to Wyndemere. She's surprised that he's so laid back about it knowing she would never move to Wyndemere. He says it's up to her.

Lulu comes to Jake's and reunites with Brook. Dante is surprised that they know each other. Lulu likes the idea but Maxie doesn't. Brook feigns that she didn't know about Dante and Lulu's relationship. She jokes that she has tons of dirt on Dante.

Reunion at Jake's: Lulu, Dante and Brook all joke around about Dante's cheesy pick-up lines and how they got together. He tells Brook about Sonny being his father. She again feigns surprise. She then jokes about Lulu stealing Dillon from Georgie. Dante is glad to hear about the dirt but Lulu drags him away. Alone, Brook gets a drink to which Johnny saddles up and pays for. Olivia joins them, surprised to see Brook. She puts her arm around Johnny and it's Brook's turn to really be surprised.

Metro-Court bar: Claire joins Jax. They talk about Jason being in jail. I don't like Jax's new buzzed head. She wonders if Jax has had any luck getting through to higher powers regarding Michael. He hasn't. However, he was "told" that if Sonny goes to prison, it will pave way for Michael's release.

Jason asks Michael about the "schedule" in Pentonville. Michael tells him all about the rigorous schedule. Jason wonders about free time. Michael's voice beings to waver as he tells Jason about the cell doors being open for a while after dinner and then once they're shut, "Nobody's supposed to be able to get in".

To Elizabeth's chagrin, Nikolas is sitting in her house. He's upset because Elizabeth was kicked at work by a guy having a seizure. I'm surprised this is the first time she's been kicked. They continue to argue about it.

Claire visits Lucky. She apologizes about her meltdown in the park. He doesn't think there's anything to be sorry about but she assures him that it won't happen again. Getting to the point, she tells him that she wants to build a case against Sonny that will stick this time. He thinks she's ambitious which she takes as a compliment. She wants his help.

Carly stops by the Metro-Court bar where Jax is still drinking. He tells her about Claire and Jason and Morgan's adoption. He wants to know what happens next. She says after he becomes Morgan's legal father, they move on with their divorce.

Lucky keeps crossing his legs like a lady. Anyway, Claire wonders about some cases involving Jason and Sonny. She noticed that he's excused himself from some cases citing "conflict of interest". He says it's personal. She says that's ok, but she wants to know if this "conflict" will stop him from going after Sonny. He says it won't but he doesn't want it to be part of a personal vendetta.

Jason talks about how he wanted/wants a better life for Michael. (too late) He doesn't think Michael's prepared to be in prison. He wants to teach Michael how to defend himself. (too late) They plan to start tomorrow.

The Catholic Italians boozing it up at Jake's talk about not messing with God etc until Maxie drags Brook Lynn away. On the other side of Jake's, Maya assumes Ethan is now in the mob. She thinks he's an idiot and wonders why he would be involved in "all that crap". Asked and answered. He says he likes living on the edge and it pays a lot. Maya excuses herself. She ain't playin'.
Brook asks Maxie if Johnny and Olivia are really dating each other. Maxie gives her attitude about the whole thing.

Dante is happy to bring Lulu home but she has other things on her mind. He talks about how crazy it was seeing Brook. He knows something is going on with Lulu and wants to know what. She says what she has to tell him is hard. He tells her that nothing she says is going to change his opinion of her. Just wait... She starts to tell him about Dillon and getting pregnant and finally about the abortion.

Nik and Elizabeth? Still fighting. And it's not that it's not interesting. I like the dynamic of these two actors fighting, it's just that there's nothing really new. After telling him that she's going to raise the baby herself, she kicks him out for the second time this week. (night?) He then threatens her that the "days of ordering [him] around are over".

Claire is offended by Lucky's insinuation thinking he was bringing up the baby meltdown again. She calms down when he explains that he was just talking about Sonny. He goes on to talk about this forcefield (Guza) around Sonny that's hard to penetrate. He warns her about losing her soul going after Sonny. She insists that it won't happen to her. Famous last words. They finally make a deal to work together.

Jason gives Michael his pillow to help him sleep. Then he tells Michael that they'll be warmer if they sleep in the same bed. Body heat, ya know? Kidding! Lights out!

Lulu continues to ramble about abortions and Olivia and Dante. Dante says it makes him love her and respect her even more. He goes on to tell her that he won't judge her for making a difficult decision. Right answer, Dante. That's my boy.

Brook reports to Carly. She tells him about everything and thinks it's going to take really long to convert Dante into a cheater. Carly, in turn, gives her all the incentive she needs including a 50 thousand bonus check if she gets it on video. I seriously need to move to Port Charles if these people are throwing all this money around.

-end

April 21 2010

Luke and Lucky talk about Ethan. Lucky doesn't want Ethan to run since it will make him look guilty. Luke has an idea of how Lucky can help...but it may require him "losing his badge".

Oh My God! Someone's actually checking out Sonny's old penthouse! It's been years since anyone lived there! I can't wait to see it! I've missed that place. Oh and by the way, it's Johnny looking. He's with Olivia. Are they moving in with each other?

Morgan continues to listen to Jax and Claire argue about the case. Jax criticizes Claire for putting kids through hell. Claire doesn't seem offended, just miffed that everyone is a freaking hypocrite.

Dante hands NuMichael the subpoena. And I still don't get the recast. I'm sure this guy Chad is fine but there was nothing wrong with Drew.

Credits: Matt: "Why don't they just recast me?"

Nikolas visits Elizabeth at the hospital to see how she's doing. She tells him that she and the baby are fine. They talk about oncology and Emily and...weird party music comes on. They see outside that CancerPatientPlotPoint is teaching Patrick to dance the Rumba.

Morgan calls NuMichael to tell him that Dante's on his way over. Too late! NuMichael lies to Morgan that it'll be OK and Dante hasn't found him yet. Dante tells NuMichael that Max and Milo have been "taken care of".

Max and Milo? In prison. Goofy music plays. Because it's all so goofy. Apparently Milo accidently asked the guard to fuck him from behind. Accidently. Yeah.

Jason doesn't think the "owner" will sell to Johnny. Olivia thinks that'll it will help the peace process for them to live across the hall from each other. What? How? Shut up, Olivia. We don't get to see the place, because Johnny, Olivia and the real estate agent leave.

Claire sounds reasonable when she tries to explain to Jax what she's doing and why. Jax says he doesn't use children. Yes, and Sonny doesn't hit women. You're all fucking saints. Claire tries to convince Jax that Michael's testimony is a necessity. Carly enters. Claire tries to leave but Carly stops her. She's got a few things to say. Mmm Hmm.

Patrick awkwardly dances with CPPP. She finally stops the music because it's all a little too much to bear. CPPP, this is Nikolas. Nikolas - CPPP. Patrick leaves to show Robin how he can't dance. CPPP reminisces about the 40s or 20s? MATT! It's Matt! He brings CPPP a big yellow boa and then she wraps it around his neck. Awesome. Way to earn that paycheck, Matt.

Lucky doesn't want to do anything illegal. Luke compliments Lucky about being a good brother and a good cop but thinks his talent is wasted. Maya enters hoping she's not interrupting. You are. Go away. Whoa. I gave that girl about three days before I started judging her. Come on Maya, give me a reason to give you a chance. Lucky leaves, so I guess she's there to see Luke. Maya wants insight about the Qs, specifically Edward.

Maxie barges into Jason's apartment yapping her gums. Something about a sauna. Jason doesn't want a sauna. She's so wacky! She should be in jail with Max and Milo. But Jason knows something's up because he's observant.

Carly tells Claire she's going to pay for what she did to Morgan. Claire pretty much calls Carly a hypocrite for bringing Josselyn into the courtroom. Carly says Claire tried to mince her words. Again, Claire calls 'hypocrite' because Carly committed perjury for a mob kingpin who makes life hell for his kids including one of them getting shot. Instead of defending her actions, Carly rubs her testimony in Claire's face. Claire leaves but not before giving Jax a bit of advice: "Best of luck. She's a real peach." Hee! Carly: "Don't you want to follow your girlfriend?" It's not a bad idea, Jax. If I had just heard that exchange, I'd be looking at my wife a bit differently too. Like some great epiphany or something...not the nurse kind. Jax asks why Carly lied for Sonny. She says she didn't lie for Sonny. She lied for Michael. Jax says that he was the one who stopped Ronnie from catching Michael. Carly says that's because he thinks Michael's testimony will set Sonny free. He says he did it because he loves Michael and he'll always be grateful to him for saving her and Josselyn. He walks off, dejectedly.

Dante tells Michael the facts from the case that put him at the scene. NuMichael finally tells Dante that Sonny wasn't there and he killed Claudia. Oy.

Maya tells Luke that Lucky was pretty blunt about Edward. She then asks him how a "cool guy like [him] could be married to Tracy. Eww, Maya. Hitting on an old man? They discuss Tracy. Luke tells her his original intentions for Tracy. Maya talks about her sister. Luke tells her that Edward always expects something in return. She wants to know if she can trust Edward. Luke: "Hell no!"

Maxie talks about Spinelli to an uncomfortable Jason. She wants more than Spinelli. She wants someone dangerous. Blah blah blah. If it ends the Maxie/Spinelli relationship, I'm all for it. But no, she's doing this all to keep them together. Spinelli comes home.

NuMichael starts to explain everything OldMichael did but Dante tells him to stop. Dante thinks NuMichael is lying. NuMichael insists he did it. Dante wants proof. NuMichael shows him proof: the bloody shirt.

The real estate agent shows Johnny and Olivia a new apartment. I thought maybe it was Sonny's apartment but it's backwards and smaller but looks similar in design. It's incredibly tacky. Olivia doesn't know why Johnny wants a new apartment. He jokes that he's got a girlfriend he's trying to impress. He describes the amenities. Olivia "holy shit"s at the price. Oh God, I hope they redecorate. The furniture/paneling is seriously tacky.

Dante doesn't think the shirt proves anything. Michael says it's Claudia's blood and tells the rest of the story. So Sonny got rid of his shirt but not Michael's? Michael answers my question by saying he gave Sonny his clothes but hid the shirt. And Sonny didn't notice that the shirt was missing? Dante still doesn't buy it. Michael says Franco has photos. He thinks it's about time everyone stopped covering for him although because Sonny has gone through all of this, NuMichael thinks Dante should appreciate their dad more. Shut up, NuMichael.

Patrick is at Jake's drinking. He sees a drinking Claire. Patrick gets a text from Robin that she's staying home. He airs his grievances to Claire who begins to air a few grievances of her own without revealing exactly what's bothering her. Now this is a couple I might like to see.

Jax meets Skye 45 minutes late at the Metro-Court. After they sit, he tells her a little about the case and that it may not go in his favor after Carly's testimony. He also wonders if it was all worth it even if Sonny does go to prison.

Jax continues to talk about his part in Sonny's trial, including hiring Claire Walsh. He's beginning to regret hiring her since she put Morgan on the stand. Skye makes a valid point that Sonny has no boundaries, so why should the prosecuting attorney? Jax ignores the little dose of wisdom and says he could make some calls to get the case to mistrial. Skye tries to bring Jax back down to Earth, asking him why he started this whole thing to begin with. Jax: "To get my whole family out of the line of fire." Because of that, Skye advises Jax to stay the course. Hmm, leaving Port Charles makes you all sensible-like. Careful, Skye. You're back now. Jax admits there's something he can't tell Skye that might ruin his marriage more than it already is. She tells him he has to make a choice then and ask himself what's more important: the war on Sonny or his family. And...we still don't know why Skye is back.

Claire and her drink joins Patrick and his. They discuss ethics. She brings up her moral dilemma. He tells her that he knows who she is. She blames the internet. Hee. He tells her that his wife is Dr. Robin Scorpio. She guesses that he's not her biggest fan. He proves her wrong by buying her a thank-you drink.

Also at Jake's? Maxie and Spinelli. He wants to know why the decorating is so important to her. Have you met Maxie? I mean she is a fashionista. But poor Spinelli is right. There is another reason she's not telling him: the danger. Wait. Danger of interior design? I know it's something like that.

Back at Jason's pad, Sam arrives. He tells her that Maxie forced him to do the interior designing but I think he secretly enjoys picking out fabric samples. Sam gets it. It's because of the danger. And the over-compensation. And the...well, I'm glad they get it. Sam knows what it's like to be hot for bad boys. She brings up the 'volunteering for prison' thing again. I'm actually glad she didn't just let that go so easily.

Olivia and Johnny watch the view from his potentially new apartment. She observes that Jason's apartment is right across the street. She jokes they can wave at each other or shoot at each other from across the street. I think it's so Johnny can catch Jason in a towel. That's why I'd move there. Price, be damned. He says he wants the apartment for her. He wants them to move in together. Olivia says that can never happen. She leaves. Is the real estate agent still outside? She's patient.

Jason tries to explain his choice to go to prison for Sonny. He lists a lot of reasons which don't include Sam. He apologizes and she conveniently forgives him and then they discuss sex costumes. Yeah. So I guess that discussion is over.

Maxie explains why she wants to redecorate except she doesn't mention the danger and the bad boys and the over-compensation. He says that all he needs is her.

Patrick tells Claire about Robin's fascination and blindness with Sonny. He says that Claire has an advantage to everyone else in Port Charles because she doesn't have any emotional ties to Sonny. Yet. Better not get to close to him, Claire - he might impregnate you just by looking at you. He renews her confidence that she's doing the right thing.

NuMichael and Sonny are on a plane back to Port Charles. Dante thinks forensics will prove NuMichael wrong about his confession. Michael asks what happens if he gets proven right. Dante: "If you get proven right, I don't know what I'm gonna do."

-end

April 12 2010

Sorry folks! Missed another two days... Been so busy. Oh, and a good friend of mine just had a screen test for All My Children! He...didn't get it, but I know he'll keep trying. Stay tuned! Good shows last week! So much to snark about and so much to be happy about. I hate that I didn't get a chance to recap! Oh well...here we go!

Alexis tells a stunned Mac that she's responsible for Kiefer's hit and run.

Ethan is yelling at both Maya and Kristina. And what pisses me off is he gets slack from Lucky. I think Ethan has a right to be upset and to yell at Kristina who is now accusing him of a different crime didn't commit. Enough is enough. Kristina is a victim of physical abuse and that sucks and all but what she did to Ethan and continues to do is inexcusable.

Also yelling? The whole court! "You're out of order, Mr. Falconeri", cries the judge! No you're out of order! This whole court is out of order!, cries Dante!

Credits. Still there, Matt?

Mac rushes Alexis into the interrogation room and tells her to think it through before she says something she regrets. But Alexis is ready to talk.

Ethan tries to explain to Lucky what a total cuntrag Kristina is being, but Maya and Lucky think Kristina is just a little girl who can't take it. I call Shenanigans! So does Ethan. Kristina admits she did lie. Doesn't matter, because Lucky gets Ethan to leave. Kristina's a victim! After Ethan leaves, Lucky calms Kristina down as Maya looks lustily on thinking 'oh my. he's so dreamy when he's sympathetic'.

Luke tells Tracy that he thinks Dante is at fault for Ethan getting beat up in prison. Tracy just thinks that Luke doesn't like Dante because he's a cop and dating his daughter. She does think he's wrong for Lulu but she doesn't think he had Ethan beaten up. Tracy comes up with another scenario: anger displacement....maybe he's really mad at Lucky. Tracy, when did you get your psychology license, girl?

Dante is still screaming at the court about the mishandling of Morgan. Diane is thrilled. The judge orders the bailiff to take Dante into custody.

Now Morgan gets upset that Dante is being taken away. Carly steps in and takes Morgan off the stand. The judge warns her but she yells that Morgan was taken out of school without her permission. The judge yields although warns her that Michael may be recalled. No one in this court room looks happy except for Diane.

Alexis has a sit-down with Mac. She bravely tells the entire truth to Mac who listens and interjects at appropriate interludes. Nancy Grahn does an amazing job. After she's done, Mac tells her he'll arrest her and let her go of her own recognizance. He instructs her to go out and get the best attorney she can and then she'll plead out and it will all be over. She cries that she doesn't know what's going to happen to her girls if she has to go to prison.

Kristina, who will now be known as DeadToMe tries to explain what happened. Lucky insists it's not her fault and sorta gets through to her about what kind of man Kiefer was. Maya, who's business it isn't, weighs in on the subject. Lucky tells her she'll get through it.

Ethan comes back to the Haunted Star all pissed and stuff. After some prompting, he tells Tracy and Luke about Lucky.

Ronnie brings Dante into the interrogation room and Dante just kinda acts like a dick. They talk about Morgan and argue. Dante's right when he says Ronnie shouldn't have manipulated Morgan but he goes way over the line when he compares Ronnie and Claire to Sonny. Ronnie gets pissed, and appropriately so, telling Dante that maybe he should just quit the force and join his "daddy" in the mob.

Lucky comes to the Haunted Star for 'round two'. He yells at Ethan again. Ethan yells back. Luke wants to butt in.

Alexis welcomes DeadToMe back to her room. DeadToMe tells Alexis about her therapy session. She doesn't like Dr. Winters. Alexis waxes which makes DeadToMe wonder what's wrong. She tells DeadToMe that she was the one who hit Kiefer. DeadToMe asks if she hit Kiefer on purpose.

Alexis and Claire are in the judge's chambers. They argue their cases. The judge reprimands them both. Claire gets a thousand dollar fine. He puts them on ethical notice. He threatens a mistrial.

At the PCPD, Sonny wants to see Dante. Ronnie snarks on him for a while. Sonny thinks that Ronnie is just scared. That he'll go to the dark side! I can't believe I haven't made the Darth Vader/Luke Skywalker reference before.

Back at the Jax home, Morgan worries about Dante. Carly thinks he'll be fine. Morgan tells Carly and Luke about what Ronnie did. Doorbell. It's Lulu. Morgan tells Lulu that Dante got arrested. Carly explains.

Sonny visits Dante in his cell. Dante tells him to get lost but Sonny stays cause....where can Dante go? Sonny is glad that Dante saw how the justice system works. Dante's not convinced that Sonny's way of life is better. Sonny says at least he's honest about it. What? First of all, no you're not. Secondly, I hate when people say "At least I'm honest about it" like it's some great excuse that makes everything OK. "I'm a bitch. But at least I'm honest about it." Yeah...but you're still a bitch. Sonny goes on... he actually suggests that Dante give up being a cop. Seriously, what a fucking turdball.

Jax gets on Claire's case about putting Morgan on the stand. Claire stands her ground. Jax thinks Claire needs to step down and goes on to threaten her. She makes the case, using examples from Jax's life like a good lawyer, why she needs to and is going to win.

Morgan worries to Carly and Jason that he messed up on the stand. They said he did fine. Morgan tells them that he wouldn't let the lawyer trick him into telling her that Michael killed Claudia. Jason goes off on Dante and Jax but Morgan loves everyone. Jason relents and says he just wants Morgan to have a good life. He wants Morgan to have more than a life breaking the law.

Lulu asks Ronnie if she can see Dante. He tells her that Sonny is with him now. They argue about Dante's intentions. Ronnie asks her to talk to Dante and make sure he's not crossing over to the dark side.

Sonny...*sigh*. His arguments just don't make any sense. Dante explains justice to Sonny like he's two years old. And that's what he needs.

Alexis tells DeadToMe that she doesn't remember if she did it on purpose or not. DeadToMe forgives her mom and knows she wouldn't do it on purpose. They hug. DeadToMe wonders what happens now.

Lucky is on the phone with Mac. After he gets off, he tells Luke and Ethan about Alexis. Ethan hates that everyone has him as an automatic number one suspect.

Alexis tells DeadToMe that she's already made a full confession; she was charged and released. DeadToMe is worried.

Kiefer or...RoadKill's mom comes to Mac to ask him who ran down RoadKill. After excusing her behavior, Mac names Alexis.

Lulu laughs at Dante in jail. They flirt; they banter. He tells her about Sonny's visit. Lulu tells Dante that Morgan is OK. Dante mentions something about Sonny being right about something but I choose to ignore it.

Lucky and Ethan argue like brothers. Now, Lucky wants Ethan to apologize to Kristina. He leaves. Luke gets pissed. He agrees that Ethan should apologize to Kristina but Kristina should apologize to him first. He adds, and Sonny...and Alexis...and the whole PCPD!

Alexis tries to change the subject. They talk about getting away. To France! Roadkill's mom comes in all snarky and on the offense.

Jax is home! Carly lays into him about Claire and what she did.

Lulu pep talks Dante. They flirt some more. Wouldn't it be great if this was the place they finally did it?

Restaurant. Sonny comes in and tells Jason that Morgan might be recalled. Sonny, "If Claire was a man, I'd arrange to have him have an accident." Because he has morals! And anyway, didn't he kill Faith? And I have no doubt he would have killed Claudia if Michael hadn't. Jason thinks it's a bad idea since she's a fed. On cue, Claire walks in. She jokes that they're all serious and wonders if they're plotting her death. She's there to offer Sonny a deal. Shouldn't she be talking to his lawyer?

-end

April 2 2010

Dante and Lucky continue their good cop/bad cop routine with Keifer. It's so obvious, yet so totally cute. Lucky gets into it but Keifer remains silent.

Alexis and Kristina talk about mundane things like SATs and college. If Kristina remains a popular character, she'll be going to PCU. Sorry, Alexis. Alexis brings up self-defense classes. Can't Sam teach her self-defense? I mean, she had that TV show. Alexis breaks the news that the police may continue to investigate. Kristina thinks her mom lied to her.

Carly is worried about Sonny's trial. She and Jason are both worried that Michael will still confess.

At court, Robin is still on the stand. Claire reiterates Robin's testimony. She asks if Sonny mentioned the baby that night. After some nudging, Robin quotes Sonny, "Thank God that baby wasn't born into our lives" and "Thank God, you'll never bore my child". Don't worry, he'll make more.

Credits: Did anyone else's credits do this weird thing where the music just got a decibel louder half way through?

Jax and Skye reunite at the Haunted Star. Tracy and Luke watch as Jax explains his separation and tells Skye about his daughter. Luke thinks that Tracy inviting Jax over was low.

Kiefer tries to dig himself out of the hole but ends up sounding more like an asshole. Lucky point blank tells him he left the party early and went to beat up Kristina. Keifer calmly tells them that that's now what happened. He begins to slip up as he remembers what really happened. Dante and Lucky work it cheesily but hey, it's working.

Kristina is pissed at Alexis. who tries to calm her down. She let's Kristina know that Luke wanted to pursue it because he believes Ethan is innocent and he has that right. Kristina sorta understands but she still doesn't like being kept in the dark. She's awfully judgmental of lying consider she's a big ol' liar herself.

Carly and Jason talk about Sonny jumping bail and going to South America. Jason thinks Michael should go with him but Carly doesn't want Michael going. Jason says that if he doesn't, then Claire will bring Michael back and question him. They agree that there are no 'good' options.

Claire again goes over the testimony instead of asking new questions. Diane and the judge pretty much ask her to move it along. She asks Robin when Claudia took Carly hostage. Robin answers it was when Sonny sent his bodyguards after Claudia to take her home. Claire gets Robin to compare the size of her bodyguards to the size of Claudia. She also makes it seem like Claudia was like a trapped animal. Before Robin can save her testimony, Claire cuts her off and says she's done with the witness. Diane couner-cross examines. Before she begins, she makes note that Sonny's primary bodyguard is "237 pounds dripping wet." Hee. And she should know! Robin explains why Sonny was so furious that night. Objection! Overruled! She goes on to praise Sonny. There are a lot of objections and sustains and overruled and people talking over each other until Diane asks Robin if she's known Sonny to ever be abusive to a woman.

Diane repeats the question. Robin questions if abuse is more than just physical but finally says she's never seen Sonny hit a woman. Does it count that he shot his ex-wife in the head while she was in labor with Morgan? Robin? Dismissed. Patrick follows her out. She's upset because she thinks she hurt Sonny with her testimony. Who's up next? Maxie Jones.

But Maxie is still in the hospital. She and Lulu are talking work. Spinelli is there too. She seems to be doing better.

Michael is bored on the island. He can't get internet, phone..etc. Max tells Michael that he heard from Diane. He lies that the trial is going well.

Jason thinks that Robin's testimony might help but Carly thinks Robin is too honest. Hee.

Kiefer gets mad until he finally realizes the obvious: That Lucky and Dante are playing him. He walks off but not before Dante warns him to stay away from Kristina. Lucky and Dante both now believe without a shadow of a doubt that Kiefer is the attacker. Dante vows to get Keifer. He refers to Kristina as his sister, often. Although he's not accepting Sonny yet, he seems to really be accepting the rest of his newfound family, which I really like.

Back at the Haunted Star, Luke sulks and Tracy calls him on it. They joke and banter. Luke moans about his kids but is happy to have Tracy by his side.

Jax and Skye drink at the Metro-Court. They're interrupted by someone named Warren, a handsome older gentleman who I didn't recognize at first as Keifer's father. After introducing Warren to Skye, they talk shop for a few seconds. Warren excuses himself. Jax tells Skye about Kristina. Over at the bar, Warren talks tensely on the phone before he's interrupted by Kiefer. Kiefer tells his dad what happened at Kelly's.

Maxie, Spinelli and Lulu talk about useless things until Epiphany comes in with a guy holding a summons. He basically throws it at her. She responds by having a (fake?) coughing fit.

Diane tells the judge that Maxie is at the hospital and cannot testify. Claire claims that Diane is trying to block the testimony.
Outside the courtroom, Patrick tries to cheer up Robin although she knows that he still wants Sonny in jail.
Back inside, the judge calls a recess to find out if Maxie is well enough to testify. He warns everyone not to leave the building.
Sonny walks outside the courtroom to find an apologetic Robin. She hugs him and tells him that she's sorry.

Maxie fixes her make-up to make it look paler and sicker. She asks Spinelli to go out and find a way to fix the machines to make it seem like she had a relapse. He leaves. Lulu wants to know why Maxie doesn't want to testify. She thinks that Maxie should tell the court what she saw. Maxie thinks ruining Sonny's life will ruin Jason's and by default, Spinelli's. She also thinks that Lulu's Sonny-hate will affect Dante. Lulu says that Dante's hate for Sonny is just as bad as hers but Maxie doesn't think so.

Back at the Metro-Court, Jax talks about his Carly woes.
At the bar, Kiefer and his dad talk about the case. Kiefer is worried. Warren thinks Kiefer should never have gotten involved with Kristina. He encourages Kiefer to talk to Kristina. It looks like he has some experience in these situations.

Lucky and Dante see Luke at the Haunted Star. They tell him that they're close to solving the case.

Michael somehow got a hold of a phone and calls Kristina. She tells him that the trial is going terribly and about Sonny going crazy in the courtroom. Even though Kristina knows that Michael killed Claudia, she still thinks her dad is guilty.

Sonny comforts Robin and tells her that she has nothing to be sorry about. Robin is still upset about her testimony. The judge has come to a decision: "If Miss. Jones can't come to court. Court will go to her." Field trip!

Sonny tells Jason and Carly about Robin's testimony back at his office. Carly thinks Robin should have lied. Sonny tells them that the next witness is Maxie.

Epiphany warns Maxie and Spinelli not to fuck with the machines. After Epiphany is gone, Maxie gets nervous. Spinelli reassures her. Epiphany comes in with a wheelchair for Maxie.

Alexis visits the Haunted Star. He tells her that he has news and that Ethan will be exonerated. Alexis still thinks Ethan is the attacker and hopes that she and Luke can get passed this.

Kiefer visits Kristina and she stupidly tells him that she's alone. Kiefer anxiously barges in and asks Kristina for help and then freaks out when she asks why. He wants her to reinstate the charges and stick to her story. She says that Dante and Lucky will figure it out and he freaks out some more and says they already have. Kristina finally comes to her senses but at the worst possible moment realizing she never should have blamed Ethan for something that Kiefer did. And that did it. Kiefer smacks her and she falls to the couch.

Sonny and Carly are worried about Maxie's testimony but Jason isn't.

At the hospital, the judge and council are set up with cameras so that the jury can see. Maxie fakes a coughing fit and Diane tells the judge that Maxie is too sick to do this. The judge warns Maxie of faking. Maxie swears to tell the truth...etc. Claire asks Maxie what she saw the night Claudia was murdered. Maxie begins to tell the tale of the koi pond. Claire finds it hard to believe that she was meeting a poolman at 3am. Diane snarks that Claire knows nothing about Kate, "although that's been obvious from the beginning." Zing! Maxie continues to tell what she saw. Claire states that Sonny was driving Michael's car. Maxie finally admits that it was. Claire asks if Michael was in the car with Sonny.

Michael gets his backpack out and sees the shirt he was wearing the night he killed Claudia. He flashbacks to swinging the axe.

Dante and Lucky interrupt Keifer's parents eating dinner at the Metro-Court. Warren objects. Lucky tells them that they're trying to establish a timeline. Warren again objects to the "misleading statements of a teenage girl."

Kristina is unconscious and bleeding on the lake house floor as Keifer yells at her. He runs off knocking into Alexis as he goes. Alexis finds her unconscious daughter.

-end

April 1, 2010

So I've been out a few days - Happy Passover! - and I've watched the last few episodes. I have to say that it's been pretty good lately. We've seen court outbursts, the introduction of Maya Ward, our newest Quartermaine; we've seen Luke be a super-awesome dad, Sonny be a total dick, Conan, the over-attentive waiter, Claire, the sassy lawyer and Ghost Georgie come and gone so quickly. And Skye. SKYE!!! I generally don't read spoilers so I had no idea she was coming, but I have to say I'm beyond delighted and I hope it's not too fleeting. We've seen Kristina almost break a few times but no one can get through yet. I wonder who will finally break her?

Well let's start today's recap, shall we?

Maya is outside the Spencer house introducing herself to Lucky. He goes on about how much the Ward family was a big part of his childhood. Maya briefly tells Lucky about Grandpa Quartermaine's deal.

Kiefer fakes concern about Kristina for Dante's benefit. Dante seems to suspect something and subtly talks to Keifer like he's a suspect. He asks Keifer where he was that night. Keifer said he was at a party.

I'm happy to see Skye. Luke is happy to see Skye. You know who isn't? Tracy. Skye is also happy to meet Ethan who seems to have the same taste in women as his father.

Diane yells at Sonny who yells back. Jason tries to mediate things. Sonny shows what an idiot he is.

Credits: The most you'll see of Matt in weeks.

Ethan wants to get to know Skye who empathizes with Ethan's search for his parents reminiscing about the reason she originally came to Port Charles. Luke would like to be alone with the red-headed vixen but Tracy is not leaving.

Kiefer talks about the party and pretty much blames Kristina for the attack because she lied, even though he says he's not blaming her. Like a good little abuse victim, Kristina sides with Keifer. Kiefer leaves Dante alone with Kristina. Dante reminds Kristina of the conversation they had a while back about guys who use girls for sex. He guesses that she was talking about Keifer.

Maya asks about Lucky's parents and he tells her. Maya talks about living with the Quartermaines, being a 2nd year med student and her sister, Zoe. She asks Lucky's opinion of Edward. He has a pretty negative view of the old guy but sugar coats it a bit for Maya. He gets a phone call from Dante.

A sequestered Coleman is happy to see Kate. They start to make out in the hallway but are caught by the Judge who rushes Kate off. Kate runs off like a caught schoolgirl in a boys dorm. It's kind of embarrassing what Kate's become... The judge threatens Coleman to behave.

Diane finally gets Sonny to admit he messed up, but then he acts like the only reason it was a mistake was because Krisitina was in the courtroom and he didn't know. "I didn't know Kristina was in the courtroom!" "I didn't know Dante was my son when I shot him in the chest!" "I didn't know Michael was going to be shot when I brought him to my warehouse!" "I didn't know Morgan was gay!" But I digress. Jason asks Diane if she can get the jury back because he's the only one in the room who is actually listening to what Diane is saying. She thinks they have Coleman but that's about it.

Epiphany and Robin are discussing a case when Patrick comes by. He's still all pissy about Sonny and tells her about his outburst in the court room. They argue until Robin gets served papers to be a witness and Sonny's trial.

Johnny and Olivia gush over a brochure regarding a vacation she won. He says they'll go after the trial is over. She wants to know why he wants to watch. Instead of answering the question, he asks her if she's bothered that his testimony hurt Sonny. Instead of answering the question, she tells him as long he can walk away with a clear conscious. He kisses her goodbye. Kate sees this and approaches her cousin telling her that she's in a pickle and wondering what side she's on: Team Sonny or Team Johnny?

Court room! Claire and Diane goad and tease each other. It doesn't work with Diane but when she goads Sonny, he falls for it because he's a big fat idiot. My anti-Sonny rants seem to get worse with each recap. I guess that's because he becomes a bigger, fatter idiot each episode. Let's continue. Court is in session! I bet the judge will be sassy and full of warnings! He is! Claire brings back Johnny and Diane warns Sonny to behave by sticking him with her stiletto heel. Awesome.

At Kelly's, Dante tells Lucky about Keifer. Lucky agrees that he could be a suspect. He tells Dante about Keifer's weird parents.

Oh, the paternity test! Forgot about that! Helena doesn't look too worried. She tells Liz to open it. Nikolas comes in and tells Helena that she has no business being there. She disagrees. Elizabeth opens the test. By the look on Elizabeth's face, Nikolas can tell that he's the father.

Olivia doesn't think there's any conflict about the case. They talk about Sonny shooting Dante. Damn, everyone knows that! Why isn't Sonny in jail for shooting a cop?! You'd think CSI and the other cops would be all over this. Anyway, Olivia said she's lost all compassion for Sonny since then...so why didn't she tell the authorities that Sonny shot her son? It doesn't make SENSE! Carly comes by and asks Kate if she knew about Dante. They snark about Sonny and whatever, I'm bored. She finally leaves. Kate snarks about Carly's hypocrisy. Olivia thinks Kate should be happy that she never married Sonny. Kate thinks that after Sonny is acquitted (does anyone still think he won't be?), he'll come running after Olivia full force with the charm and the dimples.

Dante and Lucky talk more about the possibility of Keifer being the attacker. Lucky says he'll interview guys at the party while Dante will interview the Davis' neighbors. Lucky tells him about the discrepancy in Kristina's story.

Claire asks Johnny about the night of Claudia's birthday party. He tells her and the jury. He says he rushed to the party to warn Claudia that Sonny knew about what Claudia did. He says he wanted to warn her that Sonny was going to kill her. Objection!

Edward brings Maya over to the haunted star to get Tracy to apologize. It's of course just a contrivance to get him to see Skye because I doubt Maya would have gone along with this. He is happy to see Skye whom he calls his granddaughter. Tracy reminds him that she's not actually his granddaughter. Luke introduces himself to Maya talking about what a great admirer he was of Mary Mae. She tells him that she met Lucky earlier. Edward is happy about all the Quartermaines in the area. Luke wants to get rid of everyone because "Skye came over to see [me!]." Tracy leaves in a harumph.

Johnny has been excused from the stand. Outside the courtroom, Johnny thinks he could have done more and is mad that Claire dismissed him early. She tells him that she got exactly what she needed from him and she promises that she'll get justice for his sister. Inside, Diane thinks it's good that Claire stopped when she did. Sonny's not so sure.

Back at the Webber house, Helena has gone. Nikolas promises that he'll take care of them and he'll keep Helena away. Elizabeth was so sure that the paternity results would name Lucky. He promises that he'll be a better listener to her needs.

At the hospital, Helena pays the creepy lab technician for helping out with the other test. Helena, super-villain extraordinare, talks about destroying the Spencers..."with their own flesh!"

Lucky and Dante meet again with their respective reports. Lucky found out by a frat boy that Keifer left the party early because he was furious that his girlfriend stood him up. Dante found out that one of the Davis neighbors was almost hit by a light colored SUV that night. What does Keifer drive? A silver SUV! Dante doesn't think it'll be good enough to hold up in court. Lucky: "Who said anything about court?" Oooh. Wonder twins activate! Form of: Good cop, bad cop!

Robin is now on the stand. Claire asks her about Mac and her job. She asks about her relationship with Sonny as Patrick looks on from the gallery. Robin talks about Stone and how wonderful Sonny is. Diane thinks that Robin has helped with Sonny's character but Sonny knows that Claire isn't done. Ok, why are they making Sonny the smart one and Diane the dumb one? I mean seriously, why would Claire subpoena (I can finally spell that word on one try!) Robin to show how wonderful Sonny is?

Jax leaves a message for Claire. After he gets off the phone, Tracy comes in with a proposition.

Ethan and Luke talk about Skye's "net worths" as both an actuality and a euphemism while Skye talks with Maya and Edward. Luke asks for Ethan's help. He wants Ethan to take Maya and Edward away so that he can have a moment with Blaze. Ethan tells Maya and Edward that he wants to take care of Maya's car. It works. They're out of there. Alone at last, Luke asks Skye why she came back.

At Kelly's, Dante questions Keifer. He totally plays good cop. I guess Lucky will be bad cop. Kiefer plays it cool while the wonder twins do their routine. He makes it seem like he's saying that Kristina asked for it. Lucky calls him on it.

Luke tells Skye that she's been away a while but you'd never know it to look at her. He says she looks amazing which I totally agree with. Flirty music plays and then Tracy drags Jax in.

Carly and Jason discuss Sonny's trial. He tells her that Robin is on the trial. Carly thinks that means Sonny will definitely be convicted but Jason thinks it'll be OK. Jason thinks Carly's testimony is the key.

Claire wants to know what Robin heard Sonny say at the party to Claudia. Robin gets all flummoxed. She begins to summarize but Claire wants it word for word. Robin recaps it. She asks Robin what Sonny called Claudia. Robin stutters out, "A faithless bitch." Claire, "Then what happened?" Robin tries to defend Sonny but Claire just wants to know what he said. Robin quotes, "Claudia has lied to us for the last time." DUN!

-end

March 24 2010

DANTE, not Ethan, tells Claire they have enough evidence to convict Sonny. They don't. Claire thinks they need Michael's testimony. Dante thinks Michael is 'damaged enough'. Claire thinks Dante became biased once he found out Sonny was his father. Dante disagrees. Get these two a room! I mean if he and Lulu never do it, why not? But Daniel, you say. They hate each other! I know, says I. It's not like any romantic comedy I've ever seen! Dante has second thoughts about Claire being brought in. She wants to put Sonny away.

Luke and Sonny: Un! Comfortable! Luke tells Sonny that Ethan didn't attack Kristina.

Carly tells Jason that she thinks Kristina is lying to protect whomever really did this to her. Jason asks who? Carly's got the answer: Keifer.

Speak of the devil! Keifer is watching Kristina sob to Lucky. She describes the attacker without saying his name. Lucky: "Who did this to you?" Kristina: "Why?" WHY?

Credits: Big news lately is that they recast Michael. I have no idea why but he won't be on for a month. And he probably won't be in the credits for a year.

Jason doesn't want Carly to jump to any conclusions. Carly: "Why not?" She tells him that he's the one that guessed Kristina was lying. She goes over the 'timing' facts. Jason plays 'devil's advocate'. But Carly's got all the answers! She describes Kiefer's past with Michael and Morgan.

Lucky tries to make Kristina more comfortable. She talks about how Sam helped her with the bruises. She says she doesn't want Ethan arrested or to go through a trial. She says she never should have said it was Ethan but when Lucky asks why, she doesn't give the real reason. She begs Lucky to make it over. Lucky gives up for now but lets her know that he'll do everything he can to help her. Keifer hides as Lucky leaves.

In the interrogation room, Lulu comes to visit Ethan and is the elevetieth person to tell him how stupid he is. He tells her that Luke is back and she tells him that Luke believes him because he doesn't want to believe that Ethan is like him. Ethan wants to know the big Luke secret.

Luke talks about the night Kristina came to the Haunted Star and adds Ethan has no reason to lie to him. Sonny counters that Kristina has no reason to lie either. Luke thinks she's confused. They argue some more, both defending their kids.

Claire continues to argue Dante's wishy-washyness. And she's completely right. Dante insists that he's trying to put Sonny away as much as she does. He pleads compassion for Michael but Claire thinks he just doesn't want Michael to say what he saw. My opinion? This case was fucked before it started.

Claire and Dante? Still arguing. About the same thing. And I like both these actors but it's not really getting anywhere. It's hard for Claire to overlook how Dante lied about getting shot. I still don't understand how they couldn't prove that. A long time ago, Ronnie mentioned gun powder residue but no one looked into it???

Gazebo of love: Patrick greets Robin. Lisa tells Robin that she's on the Corinthos case. Robin wants to know more but Lisa says she's sworn to secrecy. Robin tells Lisa that she knows she'll serve with integrity but then goes on a rant about how Sonny is not everything the media makes him out to be. But she doesn't stop there. She goes on and on about Sonny in her very biased way. Patrick catches on.

Jason thinks Carly needs to stay out of it. She wants to talk to Sonny and Lucky but finally lets Jason think he convinced her to stay out of it.

Sonny describes how he found Kristina at the hospital. They argue the evidence. Luke tries but Sonny is as stubborn as always. I'd blame him less in this situation if he wasn't always like this. Sonny hints at what's to be done. Luke warns Sonny not to touch his son. Ooooh, rift between Sonny and Luke!

Lulu says she doesn't know Ethan's background so she doesn't know who to believe. Ethan still thinks she doesn't trust him because of something Luke did. Lulu finally tells a shocked Ethan what Luke did to Laura years ago. He thinks there has to be more to it. Lulu describes the circumstances of the rape in full detail.

Robin defends her argument. Lisa doesn't want to hear it, so she leaves. Patrick doesn't want to talk about the case. He wants to concentrate on their date. But...Robin starts talking about Sonny again. Patick, "What's the jury supposed to do? Acquit Sonny because he was once a good man?" Robin: "It's really that black and white to you?" Which....makes no sense because Patrick's reasoning is sort of the opposite of 'black and white'.

Lulu meets Dante at Jake's. Coleman gives them some free beers. Dante thinks the beer is to alleviate Dante's reaction to Coleman's future verdict to acquit Sonny. Coleman would rather acquit a guilty man than have piano wire wrapped around his neck.

Kristina is surprised to see Keifer knocking at her door. He says he's there to see if she's OK, but let's slip that he knows Lucky was there. For some reason Kristina is surprised that Keifer is a stalker as well as an abusive boyfriend. Keifer wants to know what Lucky wanted. She lies that she asked him to help out with her mom. She also says feels bad that Ethan got arrested. Really? Then...tell everyone he's innocent and you won't have to feel guilty anymore. Keifer gets angry and wants to know why she feels bad since Ethan treated her bad and...ick. She says she doesn't want to go through a trial. Saved by the bell. Sonny stops by and Keifer leaves...probably shitting his pants. Sonny tells Kristina she looks better. She wants to know how court went and he says fine but he was thinking about her a lot. She tells him that she doesn't want Ethan to be punished because of her.

Jax asks Carly at the Metro-Court why she confronted Kristina. She snorts that it didn't take Alexis long to run to him. He defends Alexis but Carly sympathizes with her arch-enemy. (one of many). She tells Jax that she was just talking to Kristina and that there was a discrepancy in her story. Jax wants to know why she needs to get involved and Carly says he's right and she should be focussing on Sonny and the trial. Jax doesn't like that either. Of course they argue about that and then about Michael.

Kristina and Sonny argue Ethan's fate. She cries that she doesn't want Ethan to go through a trial or to die. Sonny pretends he doesn't know what she's talking about. She knows. He thinks she's acting like Adele, a victim who doesn't want to punish her attacker. She tries to convince him that she 'just wants this to be over'.

A frustrated Luke comes back to the Haunted Star. Lucky comes in and starts to talk to him about Ethan but Luke wants to know about Lucky's troubles. Lucky tells him about Crazy's baby daddy. He and Luke both seem relieved. They move on to Ethan. Lucky tells Luke that Kristina doesn't want to press charges against Ethan. Luke knows Ethan is innocent but he's worried about what Sonny is going to do.

Lulu and Dante discuss Ethan. She wants to believe Ethan but is worried about the genetics angle. Dante tries not to pry but he asks what happened. She says there's something Luke did once but she doesn't go into details. Dante compares father and son Spencer to himself and Sonny.

Patrick admits he liked Sonny until he shot his son in the chest. Imagine that? He says that Sonny's life breeds violence for everyone around him and cites Claudia, Michael and Dante as examples. He doesn't want Robin or Emma around Sonny's world. Robin says she doesn't make excuses for Sonny but she still loves him. Patrick finally tries to change the subject. One last comment from Robin on the matter, "I'm not in Sonny's world. I'm in your world." Awww.

Lucky describes what he saw at the hospital. Luke wonders if Kristina could have been mistaken. Lucky says it's possible.

At the Corinthos house, Sonny tells Jason about court. To Jason, Dante is a traitor and he says to Sonny, Dante is flesh and blood and there's no middle ground. Sonny compares the situation to Ethan/Luke.

Sam comes to visit Kristina. Kristina tells her how everyone's been pressuring her to prosecute Ethan. They argue about the pros and cons of prosecuting. She gets Sam to promise to talk to Alexis about talking to the D.A.

After the break, Sam and Kristina talk nail polish. It's as exciting as it sounds.

Luke tells Lucky what happened when Kristina came to the Haunted Star. Lucky says they need to find the bastard that did this!

Lulu insists Dante is nothing like Sonny but Dante isn't sure. It seems he's just looking for assurance.

Sonny talks about what Kristina wants. Jason wonders about Luke. Sonny says that Luke thinks that he backed him off. Sonny says he's wrong and he'll get justice one way or another. DUN!

-end

March 15 2010

Beginning week three of unemployment. On the plus side, I'm eating like a horse. YAY!

Sam gives Ethan an earful about staying away from Kristina. He tries to defend himself but then Sam goes off about Ethan physically hurting Kristina. Ethan is surprised to hear about 'bruises'.

Back at the real house of physical violence, Kristina tries to crawl away from Keifer and it's just a really awful scene of Keifer pushing Kristina down over and over.

More manhandling! Helena manhandles the lab tech, Larry. She wants to know where the results to the paternity test are since she paid him to be able to see them first. He says they'll be ready in an hour but they're interrupted by Steven. He shoos Larry the lab tech away and asks Helena what business she has with the lab.

Lucky has been summoned to Crazy's room. She asks Lucky if he wants the baby to be his.

Jason wants to talk to Sonny in private. Dante tries to get more info on Michael's whereabouts. He implores Sonny to do the right thing.

Wow, five scenes in the teaser which brings us to....credits!

Helena doesn't appreciate impertinence! Thanks for always upping my vocabulary, Helena. She tells Steven that it's her family's money that's paying for the hospital and she can talk to whomever she pleases. She even threatens him with talk of skeletons in closets. Looks like Steven may have one. Who am I kidding, everyone in Port Chuck has one. Or three.

Lucky avoids Crazy's question by being vague and saying the right thing. She wants a real answer. He gives it to her: "I want to be away from you, Elizabeth." He thinks a kid will keep them trapped in something that doesn't work. She tries to accept the truth with a smile but gets him out of there.

Kate and Lulu rush Maxie to the hospital. Epiphany and Robin aren't happy with her. Kate even uncharacteristically takes the blame for being bitch-boss. Maxie tells them she's OK and just wants drugs but Robin asks Epiphany to page Monica(!), the cardiologist. Maxie looks scared for the first time.

Sonny tells Dante he's helping Michael "the best way [he] knows how." Well....Dante is giving you a better way! See how that works? Jason says that Sonny doesn't have to justify anything. Sonny and Jason argue whether Dante is welcome in Sonny's house. Dante thinks that Sonny is just protecting himself from going to prison. After Dante leaves, Jason wants to know if Sonny was planning on telling his son the truth.

Sam confirms that Kristina has bruises. Ethan tells her everything that happened with Kristina earlier but Sam doesn't quite believe him. Luke tries to intervene but Sam and Ethan continue to tear into each other's throats. Luke finally tells Sam that although he thinks Ethan could have handled it better, everything he said was true. Sam thinks it's a case of male chauvinism saying "she got what she deserved."

Poor Kristina is sobbing on the floor with bruises while Keifer really goes off the deep end, crying and saying awful cliche things like, "Look what you made me do". And while his whole act is cliche, it's still pretty accurate. He runs off while my stomach turns.

Kate asks Robin how Maxie is. Robin tells Kate that physically it's too early to tell but then snits about how she's doing emotionally due to work. After she walks off, Lulu tries to comfort Kate by telling her that they're used to her bitchy-bossness. But Kate's heart grew three sizes that day. She says that maybe they shouldn't take that from her. She gives Lulu the night off.
Spin rolls by and Lulu points him to Maxie's room. Inside, he starts to go ballistic about all the tubes and machines but Monica(!) tells him to dial it down. Maxie tells him not to worry.

Sam is very tiring criticizing Ethan and Luke. Ethan tries to defend himself again and leaves. Luke tells Sam that Ethan would never take advantage of an underage girl but Sam thinks he doesn't know that much about Ethan. She warns Ethan again before leaving. Luke tells Ethan that he has to keep his temper in check. Ethan says he needs to handle this on his own. He goes off, presumably to find Kristina. Oh gosh, I sense bad things.

Alexis and Molly are enjoying a sundae at Kelly's. Mmmm. That looks good. They talk about reading and writing and Alexis mentions her dad. Mikos, right? She waxes on a little about her childhood without really revealing anything. Dante comes by and sits with the girls. Molly talks about how awesome it is sitting with two people who are highly involved with Sonny's trial. She wants to know the inside scoop from them. Precocious little brat, ain't she?

Sonny doesn't know what's right anymore! That's quite an admission. Sonny thinks Dante would be compassionate if he knew the truth. Jason thinks Sonny doesn't want Dante to think that he's capable of beating a woman to death.

Sonny admits he doesn't want Dante to think of him as an abuser of women. But a killer of women is OK? I know Sonny didn't kill Claudia, but he would have. He wasn't just going to let her go. And didn't he kill Faith too? This is going to give me a headache if I think about it too much. He talks about Deke and his mom. Jason implores Sonny not to tell Dante the truth. After Jason leaves, Sonny calls Michael.

Molly is nosy and tactless but she makes for wonderfully awkward situations. Dante tells her he can't really discuss the case which she understands. Molly goes on about family which Dante says is the best part about the whole mess. He's always wanted to have brothers and sisters and a cute little annoying cousin. He also says that hell will freeze over before he calls Sonny, 'dad' and mean it. I'm glad he added the last part because he did call Sonny 'dad' the other day. But didn't mean it.
Lucky comes in and calls Dante over. Although he doesn't want to admit it, Dante thinks Michael will be the star witness for the prosecution.

The Haunted Star has been cleaned out. Tracy comes in and congratulates Luke on a great night. She sees that Luke isn't too happy. He's "sick of [himself]" and "stuck in parental hell". Hee. Tracy feels his pain. He tells Tracy about Ethan's stalker, Kristina.

Ethan is at the Davis house and finds Kristina on the floor. He carries her out of the house but not before she deliriously strikes out at him.

Dante and Lucky want to find Michael. They talk about the Corinthos clan and how all this must be tearing Michael up inside. Lucky gets a phone call and Lulu stops by Kelly's. Lucky leaves to interview an assault victim, presumably Kristina. Lulu thinks he's working too hard to get away from the Elizabeth drama. She also hopes that he's not her baby daddy.

Nikolas pops by to see Crazy. She tells him about the conversation she had with Lucky.

Luke tells Tracy about what happened between Ethan and Kristina although it seems that most of the story was told during the commercial break (Thank God!). Luke: "She comes in here dressed like a baby hooker." Hee! Tracy agrees that Ethan isn't the type to take advantage of a young girl. Luke is worried about daddy Corinthos. Luke's decided he's going to stop worrying about it.

Ethan runs into the ER carrying Kristina and yelling for help.

Robin tells Patrick how worried she is about Maxie. She compares Maxie's situation to her own. She gets paged and goes off to answer it. Epiphany brings Patrick in to see Kristina. He gets Epiphany to book an OR and thinks Kristina may have head trauma. He asks Ethan what happened. Ethan says he found her like that but it doesn't look like Patrick believes him. This is giving me an icky feeling.

Jason lends an ear to Spinelli as he whines. He's come to a decision. He thinks he's bad for Maxie and wants to let her go.

Mac doesn't know who to be mad at. Maxie asks Robin for help. Robin speechifies about getting caught up with their lives and not taking care of themselves. Maxie's response is to ask for Spinelli. She wants to look for him but Mac says that's not going to happen. Monica(!) comes in and tells Maxie that she has pneumonia which is causing strain on her heart.

Dante ordered Lulu some fries to which she is extremely grateful. Grateful enough to finally give it up? Seriously - find a room. He asks her if Maxie is going to be OK. She replies, "Yeah, of course - there's no other acceptable outcome." That's such a cute little 'aww' moment. They talk about food which somehow leads to Sonny. He tells her about his conversation with Sonny which he think went well until Jason showed up. Oh gosh, he's going to find out the truth and then protect Sonny and they'll all be having dinner together by Christmas. No, Easter.

Sonny has a drink on his own. He gets a call from Patrick regarding Kristina.

Alexis comes home to see the mess. She frantically calls out for Kristina until her phone rings. It's Epiphany telling her about Kristina.

Steven tells Lucky that Kristina may not be available for questioning any time soon. He chooses to wait anyway. Steven wonders who could have done this. Patrick, "Obviously someone who doesn't know who her father is." Outside, Lucky sees Ethan and his scratched face. He tells her what happened at the Davis house. Ethan wants to take off but Lucky says he'll need an official statement. Ethan leaves anyway. Oh, the ick.

Nikolas and Crazy talk more about Lucky and his decisions. Nikolas informs her that he had the paternity test sped up and they should hear about it soon.

It's ready now! Larry the Lab Tech brings the test results to Helena. I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

Ethan pours a drink at the Haunted Star when Tracy notices his face.

Alexis and Sonny show up at the hospital. Lucky asks what happened. They all want to know who hurt her. Kristina lies and says it was Ethan. Why, Kristina, why? ICK. This whole episode was full of ick.

Time for that PSA.

-end

March 12 2010

Dante and Lulu are foreplaying. She's really putting a lot of pressure on him for the sex to be good. Lulu is waiting for the inevitable interruption. Dante tells her to relax but now he's all nervous they're going to be interrupted.

Sonny tells Claire that the subpoena is invalid since Michael is an adult and it needs to be handed directly to him. Claire makes note that since Michael is an adult, he will be held in contempt if he doesn't show.

Keifer is going crazy outside Alexis' house.

At the Haunted Star, Ethan is really angry and is man-handling his stalker, Kristina. OK, he's wrong to lay his hand on her, but she really is kind of a nut lately.

Credits.

Jason visits Maxie in ICU. She tells him what happened with Spinelli. She's worried about Spinelli and his stupidity instead of her health. She wants him to find Spinelli to talk to him, all the while hocking up a lung.

Carly and Claire threaten each other. Claire tells them to have Michael in her office by 9AM. Carly and Sonny lie that Michael is traveling on spring break. Claire thinks that's interesting timing. Carly and Sonny say he's unreachable. Claire's pretty smart. She says all the right things, and pushes all the right buttons without stepping over that line and then she leaves with a final comment on justice. The actress nails it.

Michael watches Max and Milo getting distracted. The brothers talk about Max's flexibility....and speaking of Diane, Max tells Milo, "What happens on the island, stays on the island". That Vegas campaign has ruined many lives. In the other room, Michael opens up the door to see Bernie who ends the party. He basically orders Michael to stay on the island until the trial is over.

Dante and Lulu? Still not having sex. They talk about everything that's not stopping them. She finally takes off his shirt. And...of course, Kate calls Lulu's cell. Oh hey! It's actually Kate! Kate tells Lulu that if she doesn't have an assistant in her office in five minutes, she and Maxie will be fired. And since Maxie is stuck in the hospital...

Kristina is upset because of what she thought she overheard Ethan say. Ethan is not exactly being sympathetic but a stalker needs to hear the honest truth. Luke is sick of the show and wants them to leave. Instead, Ethan yells at Kristina to leave. After she leaves, Luke is disappointed at the way he handled the situation.

Jason finds Spinelli who sulkily sits in the middle of the hospital in his wheelchair. He tells Jason what he told Johnny which means we already had this conversation.

Carly thinks Claire is smart. Sonny thinks she's just trying to scare them. Carly thinks it's worked. Sonny: "Federal Prosecutor Walsh is going to have a few surprises when the trial starts." Rut-Roh.

Luke takes Ethan into the office. Ethan has some harsh words about Kristina. He says he had to get tough with her because Kristina wouldn't take no for an answer.

Kristina goes to the metro-court bar. She orders a Cosmo but Sam shows up and changes the order to a Shirley Temple. Kristina doesn't want to talk, but Sam notices a mark on her arm. Sam pries it out of Kristina that the mark was from Ethan.

At Mode-Lite, Kate chides Lulu for being late amongst other things including an exclusive stolen from them because Maxie was a no-show at some meeting. Kate is losing it. Lulu gets Maxie on the phone with Kate. Kate tells her that if she's not in the office in an hour, she'll be fired.

At the hospital, Jason and Carly discuss Claire and Michael.

Sonny visits Luke. He's worried about connecting with Dante. He insults Olivia and then asks Luke to see if Lulu will help out.

Claire visits Dante. She wants Dante to find Michael.

Maxie checks out of the hospital despite Epiphany's warning. Spinelli rolls in and moans some more about himself. Maxie thinks Spin is still upset and thinks it's Jason's fault for not talking to him correctly. Spin says the blame should all be on him. Maxie, frustrated, tries to tell Spinelli that it's not his fault but needs to rush off to Kate. Outside, she's not breathing great and she puts her hand on her heart like she has a pain.

Sonny blah blah blahs...I didn't know he was my son...blah blah blah...everyone lied....blah. Luke says he'll see what he can do but Lulu doesn't like when he meddles. I think it's more that Luke just doesn't like to get involved.

Dante tries to convince Claire that Michael is not needed on the stand. Claire thinks the circumstantial evidence isn't enough. She asks him what he is: the damaged son or a cop.

Sam has brought Kristina home. As they enter the house, Sam asks Kristina what she was doing with Ethan to begin with while Keifer listens. Inside, Kristina tells Sam what she did. Of course, Sam turns it into a big strong man abusing a little girl which is totally missing the point. She tells Kristina of a really stupid thing she did to a guy when she was a kid which doesn't even turn out to be true. Keifer watches from the window as Sam comforts Kristina.

Sonny finds Dante waiting for him at his house. Dante talks about his first arrest who died yesterday in prison. He said he visited the guy once in prison: The guy always had a look like he had something he was guilty about and wanted to talk about it and finally felt better when he did talk about it. Dante says he gets the same look from Michael. He implores Sonny to bring Michael back and tell the truth.

Kate yells at Lulu to get a model. She then wants to talk about Dante. She tells Lulu not to let her relationship with Dante interfere with her job. Maxie comes in. Kate yells at Maxie while she coughs. Kate tells her about what happened with the exclusive. Maxie continues to cough like she's dying.

Kristina talks about how cool Ethan is. Sam reminds her that he's older. Not ironically, Sam brings up Sonny saying Sonny wanted her to talk to Kristina. They get into daddy-issues and eww-ness. Sam offers to stay but Kristina says she can go. After she leaves, Kristina hears a knock at the door. It's Keifer: "Have fun blowing me off for Ethan, you bitch?"

Maxie, Lulu and Kate talk about layouts and funeral fonts and Dante. After Maxie goes outside, her coughing gets worse. Kate and Lulu rush out to see what's up.

Sonny wants Dante to do what's right. Maybe he should lead by example. Sonny seems like he's close to telling Dante the truth when Jason walks in.

Sam goes to the Haunted Star. She warns Ethan to stay away from Kristina.

Keifer screeches at Kristina. He smacks her and she falls to the floor. Time for another PSA!

-end