June 24 2010

OMG! It's raining! Let's interrupt your favorite soap... Those weathermen...love their weather. Well I'm looking outside right now and the skies are blue. Most useless. Job. Ever. Except this one...

And I missed the entire teaser....Credits!

We begin with Luke continuing his pity party. He drunkenly tells his sons that he "belongs" with Tracy. He wants to take her back to Vegas and do it all sober. The last part makes his boys laugh. Lucky thinks he needs to be more sincere with Tracy. Ethan agrees. Luke dismisses their advice. Maya comes by. He wants Maya to help him talk to Tracy face to face.

Carly is scared about Franco. Michael tries to calm her down. Carly makes a phone call to someone she "needs".

Dante and Claire argue about Jason. He wants to let Jason out to deal with Franco; She's just glad a criminal is finally in jail. And who wouldn't be in this town? Dante, apparently. She accuses him once again of focusing on something else so he won't have to deal with his dad.

Alexis begs Jason for help but he thinks talking to Johnny would be fruitless.

Sam tries to get through to Kristina but Johnny argues the other side. Sonny crashes the party. He demands Kristina come home with him. Kristina, "You've tried that before, fuckwad. Don't you remember yesterday? I'm not your property and I'm of age, so fuck off." Actually what she says is, "No, dad, I'm not". But the other stuff was said by her eyes.

Sonny once again tells her to go with him. Try asking, Dick. She refuses again. Sam tells Kristina not to be rude to her father and if she wants to be treated like an adult, she should act like one. Seems to me, she's acting as an adult just fine. Just because Sam disagrees with her actions, doesn't mean she's acting like a child. I mean, she is acting like a child...just not in this particular case. Sam wants them to talk it out. Kristina says they already tried that in therapy. Somehow Sam convinces Kristina to go with Sonny...although I don't know exactly how. Alone now, Sam wants to know how Johnny could be so stupid. Have you seen this show, Sam? Everyone is stupid.

Alexis begs Jason some more. Jason thinks Johnny isn't the problem, Kristina is and that they need to get through to her. Alexis leaves saying she admires him for what he did for Michael....giving up five years of his life to protect him for a month. Yeah...see the last sentence of the above paragraph.

Carly shows Jax the photograph from Franco. She tells him about the photograph Franco left at Josselyn's christening. Jax is pissed that Carly never told him about that.

Luke wants Maya to give him the new security codes to the mansion so he can see Tracy face to face. Why doesn't he just ask Alice to let him in? I guess Maya needs some sort of storyline. Luke tries to explain why he needs to see Tracy. Lucky and Ethan do their part to convince Maya as well.

At the mansion, Tracy dictates some orders to some hot male secretary(?). She also wants to fire Alice! Luke comes in and tells prettyboy to leave. Tracy tells Luke to get out but he won't leave. She finally dismisses her prettyboy and argues with Luke. She even calls the police. Luke gets down on one knee and proposes.

Back at Lucky's, it's a party! Maya sips some ice tea while Ethan plays pool and Lucky thanks her for helping Luke. Maya asks Ethan why Luke can't stay with him at his big luxurious (fake) penthouse!

Dante and Claire arrive at the Jax's. They share information with Carly and Jax. Dante says he has a plan to draw Franco out.

Johnny visits Jason in jail. Why? My God - does Jason actually spend time in jail? They discuss Kristina.

Sonny and Kristina "talk" at the restaurant. They argue about Johnny. And yell. And Sonny gets all territorial and demanding just like an abuser. But he doesn't hit women! And Kristina actually dares him to hit her.

Before things can get worse (too late), Alexis interrupts the feuding father and daughter. Sonny tries to get Alexis to agree with him...which she does. But Kristina calmly explains to her mother that she won't have a relationship with her dad and storms off.

Johnny says he's not trying to hurt Kristina. He also compares Sonny to his own dad which Jason seems to have a problem with....and the comparison isn't far off. Jason warns Johnny that if things go too far, Kristina won't forgive herself. Why is he there again?

Before Dante can tell his plan, Claire interrupts and says that it's a matter for interpol. Dante gets Carly's statement and he and Claire leave. But not before Dante tells Carly she did the right thing for calling him.

Ethan and Lucky explain their dad to Maya evading the apartment conversation. Maya leaves to go to the hospital. Lucky is amused with Ethan for lying about Johnny's penthouse.

Luke continues to propose and convince Tracy to marry him. The doorbell rings and she warns him to get out before the police come. The police enter the living room and arrest Luke for trespassing.

Back at the PCPD, Lucy meets his handcuffed dad. Luke's pretty depressed that Tracy didn't respond to his pleas.

Sonny and Alexis argue about Kristina and their parenting tactics.

Kristina cries outside Johnny's pad. Johnny comes home and lets her in while Kristina whines about her dad.

Soaking in a bubble bath, Sam answers the phone. It's Jason....with a line of convicts behind him. She describes what she's (not) wearing wanting to have a little phone sex....but Jason's uncomfortable... with a line of convicts waiting behind him.

Jax has made arrangements for everyone to have bodyguards. He's thankful that Carly called him.

Kristina talks about her childhood and lack of father figure. She wants Johnny to take everything away from Sonny.

Sonny blah blah blah blahs to his bodyguards, Max and Milo. He's apparently given them orders to do something bad to Johnny...

Sam wants Jason to talk and he's all mumbly. And she finally realizes that he has an audience until the guard sends them all back to their cells. But...Jason gets five more minutes. Because he's Jason.

At the PCPD, Claire gives Dante the good news that they're releasing Jason into Dante's custody. She says if Jason runs, Dante will be arrested for aiding and abetting. D'oh! It's like an 80's sitcom!

-end

June 15 2010

Alexis comes home to find Kristina writing a letter to her brother. She asks her mom how her latest community service is coming. Alexis lists her pro bono lawyer assignments and somehow segues into Kristina's next psych appointment with her dad. Kristina protests that she doesn't want to but Alexis thinks it's important.

Olivia raps on Johnny's door. She's mad and he thinks it's because she doesn't want him causing trouble with Dante's father.

Lulu breaks up the fake fight between Brook Lynn and Carly.

Warden informs Jason that Prisoner McRapist is dead and Jason will be going to solitary. Dante objects.

Credits: Epiphany/Matt Day.

Ethan is cheating at poker and collects large sums of cash when Skye walks in and his compadres leave. Skye light-heartedly accuses Ethan of cheating and informs him that Luke and company are on their way home. Ethan wonders why Luke called her. She says that Luke wants her to be scarce; she thinks that Luke and Tracy may be splitting up for good.

Alexis explains why therapy with Sonny are necessary. Kristina explains why it's hopeless. Alexis defends Sonny and Kristina compares the denial and defending to her relationship with Keifer.

Olivia is worried that someone is going to get killed. Johnny says it will be Sonny. Olivia worries that if that happens, Johnny will get arrested. Johnny says that Sonny hasn't paid for anything he's done (true) and that his sister has died for her mistakes. Johnny wants to reinvent the Zacchara name but Olivia doesn't get why.

Dante introduces himself to the warden and says if Jason is put in solitary, then Michael will be left unprotected. Um...that's why it's fucking jail, Dante. Warden says that Jason knew that when he chose to kill another inmate. Dante wants to know who the prisoner is even though he has no jurisdiction over the matter. The Warden orders the guard to take Jason away. I wonder if they'll strip him down, like in Oz.

Carly fake apologizes to Lulu about being over-protective. Lulu wants to know why Carly thinks Dante would cheat on her. Hooked, lined and sunk..

Now Olivia is trying to use Michael as an excuse to keep the peace but Johnny knows that that's total B.S. Johnny thinks Dante has too many ties to Sonny and brings up the tired situation where Dante lied about Sonny shooting him in a chest.....which I will never understand and apparently neither will Johnny. Johnny thinks Dante will do whatever he can to protect Sonny. And he thinks that if Olivia is on Dante's side, she'll eventually be on Sonny's side. She leaves in a huff and he throws a glass against the wall. Just like Sonny would.

Alexis explains that when she was growing up, she tried to protect Kristina from Sonny and thinks it might have been a mistake. Kristina doesn't think it was a mistake. She doesn't understand why Alexis is trying to defend Sonny and thinks Sonny will one day get what's coming to him.

Still at prison, Dante finally gets to visit Michael. He asks Michael about Prisoner McRapist.

Carly makes it seem like Lulu is trying to get it out of her and then finally relents by saying that Dante has many similarities with Sonny. She acts all innocent about it when she's manipulating the entire conversation.

Skye informs Ethan that she has unfinished business and Ethan offers to help. Skye coyly protests and then tells him it's about money. She tells him he's a little late. Enter Jax who will help. And also, enter Maya who tells Ethan that Tracy called Alice to throw Luke's stuff out on the lawn and be ready with a can of gasoline. Ethan thinks it's funny and it'll all work out in the end.

Lulu says that Dante is not the type of guy who cheats because he doesn't even flirt with women. Carly blah blah blahs about Sonny. Anyway, the point is, she's putting doubt into Lulu's mind.

Dante tries to get Michael to spill. Michael doesn't want to but finally does except he says that Jason was with him when Prisoner McRapist was killed...which I guess was technically true.

Warden interrogates some other prisoners who don't rat out Jason. Warden puts him in solitary anyway despite not having any proof. Jason begs to stay with Michael. Because Jason can just kill anyone he wants and gets away with it.

Skye fills Jax in that Luke was helping her but she needs Jax now because Luke has got other things on his mind. Jax guesses that it's something not quite legal but says he'll help anyway and offers to meet her at the hotel later to discuss the details.
Maya doesn't understand why Luke is attracted to Tracy. Ethan and Skye explain why. Skye runs off. Maya wants to run off too, but Ethan stops her with his..."spark".

Lisa and Steven at a hotel She goes on to explain all the reason why they're at a hotel but it's really because neither of them have a home set yet. He wonders if she's trying to make Patrick jealous.

Lulu convinces Carly (herself) that it's no big deal that Brooke is across the hall. Carly walks over to Brook's place and tells her that it's ok to stay there and to keep her job. Brook thanks Lulu for her help. Lulu goes back into her apartment and has the doubt that Carly was hoping for. Check and Mate.

Dante tries to help Michael. oh blah blah blah, this episode is so boring. Michael finally gets annoyed enough to go back to his cell.

Warden doesn't like that an 18 year old brain damaged kid (I've really yet to see how brain-damaged Michael really is) got sentenced to Pentonville. Jason asks the Warden to help him if he thinks that. Jason tries to convince him. He goes into this awful manipulative speech about how he promised Michael he'd keep him safe and guilts the Warden into helping. Maybe you should have thought about that before you killed someone. UGH.

Lisa and Steven continue to flirt and tell stories. *bleep blop*

Ethan and Maya play cards and flirt. *bleep blop*

Jason and Michael talk about Dante in their cell. I guess the Warden relented. Jason is mad that Michael lied for him when he said not to.

Kristina and Molly write letters to Michael while Kristina continues to trash Sonny. She tells Molly that she's helping Johnny.

Olivia comes back to visit Johnny. They sort of apologize to each other. She admits that she'll have to stand by her son but doesn't want her relationship with Johnny to be over.

Molly wonders if Kristina really wants Johnny to date her. She assures Molly that it's all about her dad.

Olivia and Johnny make up. Johnny says they should take things as they come. So the relationship is not over...yet.

Carly calls Brook and tells her that they got Lulu. After she hangs up, Jax comes in. They flirt and talk about Morgan. She asks him to dinner, but Skye walks in. Denied!

Jason reassures Michael that he's doing fine. Michael wants to learn more self-defense and how to kill...

-end

June 10 2010

Ok, so I've been really crappy lately. I've missed almost two weeks. I'll try to be better, I promise :)

So Luke and Tracy are still in their little dungeon cell and I don't see a toilet anywhere. Luke screams for Helena. He does everything from yelling Fire! to screaming that Tracy died to threatening Helena's life if his wife dies. Tracy awakens and gives Luke the bad news (spoiler!) that she remembers their wedding.

Brook Lynn makes up some stupid story about the cable guy to show why she's a big naked slut in front of Dante's door. She ends with, "I need you, Dante. I need you bad". (-ly) And no one in the audience is fooled into thinking that she means what we're supposed to think she means.

Carly pretends she's not mad at Lulu anymore but Sonny sees right through it.

Michael wants to know what Jason is going to do to Prisoner McRapist. And it's still unclear if Prisoner McRapist has lived up to his name.

Credits: It's a Matt/Epiphany day.

Kristina shows Molly some photos she took of the harbor to send to Michael so "he won't feel trapped". Or it may make him feel even more trapped seeing what he can't have. Molly compares Michael to some guy in a novel she's reading...blah blah blah. When she describes the 1920s cliche part of the book where someone gets slapped and then passionately kissed, Kristina gets all wiggy. Then Molly gets all wiggy and apologizes. She runs off and Kristina goes to answer the door: it's Skye.

Ethan visits Johnny and complains about losing money. Johnny tells him where he can get more money. Something about mob money/meeting...whatever. I'm bored. I don't want the head of Sonny Corinthos being cut off only to have Johnny's sprout in it's place. They joke about car bombs which makes Ethan all wiggy (that's three!) until Johnny lures him back with the prospect of gaining ten grand. Also? This guy they're seeing knows and respects Luke.

You know who's the last person you want walking in when you're hot neighbor is wet in a towel in your apartment? Your girlfriend. Lulu overhears sex talk, but it's really lock talk. And Brook is dressed in a Dante-sized shirt.

Carly continues to try to explain why she's not mad at Lulu even though she is. Sonny doesn't buy it. Carly wonders aloud if Michael would be in prison if he'd grown up a Quartermaine with AJ. Probably. But for different reasons. Sonny's offended, of course. Because AJ was an alcoholic which is so much better than being a mobster. /sarcasm.

Michael doesn't want Jason to kill Prisoner McRapist. Jason only knows the rules of the mob which apparently are the same rules of the prison. They argue. Michael makes some sense and seems to be getting through to Jason.

Tracy describes what she remembers from their wedding.

Maxie cut her hair like a boy. She actually looks kinda cute. Matt asks her to wait while he finishes up and seems happy to see her. Meanwhile Steve and Lisa talk plans while Patrick listens and grows more jealous. Patrick says he wants to go back to plan A where Lisa buys him dinner and Steve realizes he's been intruding. Maxie watches all of this with extreme interest. Lisa makes the decision that lunch will involve the three of them and leaves. Patrick gets snippy with someone on the phone and Maxie comes over to give her opinion. She wants to know why he's so jealous of someone who's not his girlfriend.

Lulu interrupts the picking a lock thing. Dante continues to struggle (bad cop) while Brook finally explains the stupid cable guy story. He finally gets her in and Lulu gets a little suspicious.

Kristina describes to Skye how hard it's been for her. Skye spits out platitudes.

Carly continues the lie (truth?) that she never should have married Sonny. She says that she, Sonny and Jason are all to blame for where Michael is....but says the person who turned him in was Dante. They argue for a bit more until Carly leaves.

Luke tries to keep Tracy conscious by talking about their vows. He wants to renew their vows. Tracy worries that since Luke is being so loving and romantic that she must be worse than she thought.

Ethan and Johnny play cards and gamble and drink. Johnny calls that guy Lopez.

Kristina visits Michael in jail. They talk about their dad. Michael wants Kristina to give Sonny another chance.

Sonny visits Jason. Is there really no limit to how many visitors someone can get? He asks her about Carly and what's up. Jason keeps mum.

Tracy wants to know why he wants to renew their vows. She says it's something she should remember since she doesn't remember the first time. Luke gets down on one knee and says some sweet vows. I won't transpose but you can tell that it comes from his heart. Tracy starts hers and it's just as sweet. She starts to cough worse.

Patrick defends himself to Maxie who chides him for replacing Robin because he's someone who constantly needs female affection. Matt interrupts and takes his date away. Lisa and Steve come back and Lisa tells Patrick that he was right and they should all study the investment on their own and she'll have dinner with Steve...alone.

Lulu picks up a baseball bat while telling Dante that she has the rest of the day off. But Dante has a meeting with a lawyer about Michael's appeal.

Michael continues to defend their dad but Kristina argues the other side.

Jason and Sonny talk about Carly further. And...boy did I pick the wrong episode to come back on.

Patrick curiously asks Lisa about her involvement with Steve. He doesn't think Steve's her type. She says her tastes have changed.
Matt assures Maxie that Patrick is "crazy in love with Robin". She thinks he's oblivious and that 'players' always cheat. Matt says she should know since she's the one that's cheating.

Skye approaches Ethan about Kristina. She's concerned and wants Ethan to befriend Kristina.

Kristina comes home in a huff and Molly thinks it's about her. Kristina tells her that she's mad at Sonny for Michael's sake. She's mad and will stay mad!!!

In his cell, Michael talks with Jason about Kristina. The guard calls Jason out of his cell while Prisoner McRapist lurks and watches Michael. Remember that tension between Dante and Lulu before they had sex...and they kept getting interrupted and stuff? It's kinda like that. Only creepy.

Luke frets over a dying Tracy. In his fretting, he accidentally let's slip that their Vegas wedding was fake. This wakes Tracy up. Rut Roh!

Brook brings back Dante's shirt, washed and ironed. Lulu begins to lay down the law while Dante eavesdrops.

Johnny's on the phone, happy about the Lopez shipment. Carly comes to visit him with a present. She really spreads that wealth around. I need get to Port Charles soon. She asks Johnny if he and Dante are on good terms.

Kristina comes to the Corinthos mansion to tell her father that she and Michael were talking about him. Kristina insists she knows the truth that Sonny is abusive.

Prisoner McRapist walks into Michael's cell. Michael prepares his karate kid stance. McR informs Michael that the guard owes him favors. Michael starts to fight but he doesn't have to since Jason opens the cell door.

-end

May 24 2010

NYC is a large place; How did Carly find Brook Lynn? Who cares. OK - Carly is trying to convince Brook to take money in exchange for helping her. Brook sidesteps but you know she's going to take the deal. She reminds us that she doesn't get her trust fund money until she's 30 and her parents aren't exactly thrilled with her. I wonder if Lois and Ned are back together. Brook wants Carly to get to the point. Carly mentions Dante.

Also sidestepping? Lulu. She claims she's busy with work. Dante thinks Lulu is all frazzled because of Michael. She talks about secrets and the "right time to tell them".

Sonny picks up his phone as instructed by Johnny. He gets some bad news. Johnny mentions some Italian names who are working with him now. Sonny makes an empty threat about killing Johnny.

Jason enters Michael's cell. Michael looks like Liz did on Valentine's day years before. He's totally shellshocked. Don't worry, Mikey - it usually only hurts the first time. Jason tries to get through to him.

Credits: I can't make fun of Matt anymore since he appeared twice in one week so... Monica, "Hey remember me? I'm a veteran!"

At the hospital, Lucky runs into Maya who is on her way out. He asks if she's seen Elizabeth. He was supposed to take the kids home but apparently Liz took them home.

At Liz's house, the kids are running rampant while Elizabeth has a headache. Nikolas is at the door. She forgot her ultra-sound appointment. Nikolas takes it personally for some reason.

Brook recounts the Falconeri/Cerillo connections. Yeah they all knew each other. Carly tells Brook about Sonny being Dante's father. She's surprised but enjoys the gossip.

Sonny holds the gun on Johnny but has no intention of using it. Johnny is just as smug. They both threaten each other and it's so boring. Sonny hides his gun as Ethan and Claire run in. Sonny is pissed at Max for being a bad bodyguard. Claire wants to know what she's doing there. Johnny says he wants to report an attempted murder. His. Points for creativity, Johnny but it's just so stupid. Any court would see that it's a set up.

Jason tries to talk Michael out of the shellshock but has no idea what happened. Right now he just thinks that Michael has been beaten up a little. Michael just rocks back and forth. Jason tries to distract him with other talk. Talk about the beach on the island snaps Michael out of it a little. And no, they're not talking about the final episode of Lost.

Johnny tells Claire that Sonny was holding a gun on him but the gun has already been hidden. He blames Ethan for being late. Claire asks Sonny if he really wants to be on trial for murder so soon after his last trial. Sonny blames Claire for Michael's conviction because he's a hypocritical dick. Sonny kicks everyone out but Claire stays. Sonny snarks that she's working for Johnny. She says she has probable cause to search the place because of what took place and reminds him that she heard him talk about killing Ethan. He tells her to go ahead and says he's going to visit Michael, whose conviction he again blames on Claire because he's a hypocritical dick.

Jason still thinks Michael was just hit and interrogates him about it. Michael doesn't want to talk about it. When Jason goes to touch him, Michael flinches. He blames himself for Jason being in there. Maybe Michael owes him a lil' somethin' somethin'. Hey, it's not rape if it's consensual.

Brook realizes that Carly wants her to go up to Port Charles to sleep with Dante. After she protests that she's not a hooker, Brook finalizes the deal by getting free room and board at the Metro-Court, unlimited spa and room service access. Also? She wants to sing there. I'm getting my plane ticket....now. Where is this magical place called Port Charles where people pay you big bucks to sleep with hot men?

Dante isn't sure what's going on but he wants to skip the argument and make up. Lulu doesn't think he has anything to be sorry about. They rehash the whole Michael decision and I'm bored. Phone! It's Claire. She wants Dante to come to Sonny's. Dante leaves with plans to get a drink with Lulu later at Jake's.

Nikolas doesn't think the baby is Liz's priority. Liz doesn't think that's fair. Lucky shows up and Liz realizes that it's his night with the kids. She's sorry that it slipped her mind. Lucky takes them away. Nik starts to fight again. Nik thinks two kids, being pregnant and a full time job is too much for her and wants to know what she's going to do about it.

It's Matt! Maxie shows up to Jake's with an awful haircut. She feigns that she's there to meet him as a friend.
Johnny and Ethan arrive at Jake's all happy with themselves and order shots to celebrate. Ethan turns and bumps into Maya causing her to spill her beer all over herself.

Claire tells Dante about what happened with Johnny and Sonny. She wants his help to search the house.

Michael wants to know about home. Jason tells him a little about Kristina. They talk about Carly and Dante. Jason admits that he hates Dante. Michael asks Jason not to tell anybody about how he was when he first arrived - all shellshocked and stuff. Jason talks about Brenda and how when he didn't talk, it drove her crazy. He says sometimes he didn't talk just to annoy her. HA! The guard comes over to tell Michael his dad is there.

In the visiting room, Sonny wants to know right away who hit him. Sonny says that Jason will be there to protect him. Michael wants Sonny to know that he's not as weak as Sonny thinks he is.

Elizabeth blames the hormones. Nik thinks she's doing too much. They fight and argue and... He wants her to live at Wyndemere and not work. She says she'll never move to Wyndemere.

Dante makes excuses about not searching the house. Claire thinks Dante is just protecting his father and can't even admit that Sonny shot him. He finally admits it to Claire's surprise and amusement but she says it doesn't do them any good now. It doesn't? Is the statute of limitations 3 months for attempted murder?! Why doesn't she go and arrest Sonny right now? He self-flagellates, she snarks. Did I mention I love Claire?

"Warden Powell" comes to visit Jason. He says he was wary about assigning Michael and Jason as cellmates but he went along with it...although he doesn't say why. He tells Jason that if he gets into any fights, he'll put Jason in solitary for the rest of his term and Michael will get another cellmate. Jason agrees but has a request.

Sonny wants to be all protective dad. (too late) He infers that Michael got beat up because of him. Michael insists he'll be fine. Sonny says he's trying to get him released and tells him to stay out of trouble.

Ethan tries to clean Maya up and accidently cops a feel. Maya takes over. He says he found a new lucrative job and will buy her a new shirt.

Matt and Maxie talk about Milan. She's impressed that he knows so much. She excuses herself to say hi to Johnny. Johnny wonders where Spinelli is. She tells him he's all depressed. Maxie tells Johnny of her plan to rile Spinelli up. Oops, Matt overhears, gets mad and leaves.

Nik and Liz fight some more. He brings up the past. She regrets that they ever slept together and she says she regrets that he's the baby daddy. He threatens that that's the worst thing she could have said to him. She finally kicks him out.

Michael comes back to his cell. A guard takes Michael away and the other guard tells Jason he has a visitor too. He's brought to see Sonny. Sonny makes his second death threat of the episode. Seriously, Sonny? Stop with all the fucking death threats. Who in Port Charles hasn't Sonny threatened?

Liz goes to visit Lucky. She tells him all about Nikolas.

Sonny, "I appreciate what you're doing...but you left me in a hell of a mess." For fucking seriously? Jason is in fucking jail and you're going to make a....oh for... I can't. I quit! I fucking quit. Breathe in. Breathe out. And I'm back. Sonny tells Jason about Johnny and Ethan and Claire. Sonny makes plans to crush Johnny.

Michael is with the prison doc.

Mode Lite! Carly rushes in to see Lulu. She says she's changed her mind and doesn't think Lulu should tell Dante about the abortion.

Dante arrives at Jake's to hear Brook Lynn singing "When you wish upon a star". Thanks, Disney. Yes, we all know ABC is owned by Disney.

Fuckers.

-end

May 14 2010

Wow, I'm back! It's been a while since I've done a recap so let's go!

Morgan and Sonny have a talk about Dante. Morgan wonders if Sonny hates Dante now because Morgan sure seems to. Sonny tries to defend his eldest. Sonny tells Morgan he's going to stay away from him for a while although he promises to take all his kids to a Yankee game some day. Because that's what matters. Morgan doesn't want his dad to make any promises he can't keep.

Jax wants to make sure he heard Carly right about adopting Morgan. He wonders if that means she wants to stay married.

Dante's trying to look up something at the PCPD to see if he can get Michael off. He runs ideas by Lucky. Lucky doesn't think Michael's sentence is that bad for manslaughter but still wants to help get Michael out.

Claire tries to understand Jason's little plan. She wonders if he's though this through since it will be hard to get him out.

Credits: Matt: Will I be on today? Please! Please!?

Morgan, blah blah blah Yankees. He sounds defeated. And he seems to be really pissed at Dante. Morgan says he understands when Sonny says it's best he stays away from him for a while but his voice totally breaks. Morgan cries as Sonny tries to rationalize. Morgan is kinda confused by Sonny's wishy-washy attitude. He stays away, he's here, he stays away. Sonny promises that they will go to a Yankee game. Because that's what matters.

Carly tells Jax that the marriage is over. She just wants him to be there for Morgan.

Claire argues the cons of Jason going to prison while Jason begs her to arrest him. Everything she says pretty much makes sense: He has enemies at Pentonville; he may not be able to get out once he's in; and many people who care about Michael are working on an appeal. But Jason? Nah - the justice system has to bend to his rules.

New set! Pentonville yard: Michael stands scared while all the prisoners work out and one eyes him like he's fresh meat. A guard comes over and harasses him. He doesn't like that Michael's a rich boy. Also, his brother was in the hospital because of Sonny. Possible Rapist approaches Michael and offers him a smoke. Possible Rapist tells Michael to stick with him.

Lucky and Dante continue to try to figure out how to set Michael free when Judge Carrol enters. He compliments Dante and insults Lucky.

Dante asks the judge to reconsider Michael's sentence. The judge refuses. He thinks it'll teach Michael not to follow in his father's footsteps. Lucky argues that Michael isn't a criminal but the Judge (and I) think he is...or at least has the potential to be one. After the Judge leaves, Lucky wants to find "dirty laundry" on the Judge.

Jason begs Claire some more. Claire rightfully points out that this whole thing could have been avoided had they not all covered the murder up. But...she agrees to help Jason out because it will help her career. How? They both agree that the other is doing the right thing.

Jax tells Carly to think about it before doing something drastic. But Carly is all about being drastic; making big decisions without thinking. Jax finally agrees.

Diane and Alexis discuss Alexis' woes. Diane is worried about what RoadKill's parents will do. They both think the Bauers will go after Kristina. Kristina walks in and overhears Alexis say the word 'trial' and immediately freaks out like only Kristina can do. Why did we not see any of the criminal trial?? I guess we were overloaded with Sonny's trial.

Diane explains the "wrongful death" suit that the Bauers plan to bring against Alexis. She warns Kristina that she may be called to the stand. Kristina whinges and whines and moans and cries and freaks out because that's all she knows how to do. Get a fucking spine, Kristina. She runs off. Diane tells Alexis not to go after Kristina because she needs to process all she just heard.

Jason comes to the PCPD and asks to see Lucky privately. Lucky apologizes for not letting Michael go with him when he had the chance. Jason tells him it's not his fault. He informs Lucky that he's going to prison.

Lulu brings Dante coffee. Dante tells her that Jason took Lucky into the interrogation room. Lulu thinks Jason is trying to turn Lucky against Dante.

Morgan tells Sonny about his karate stuff and Sonny tries not to look bored and then Carly comes in. He tells Carly why he's there: He wanted to explain to Morgan that he'll be staying away for a while to keep him safe but it won't be forever. So why now? Why not later? Will Sonny's life get less dangerous later? Or will Sonny just not care if Morgan is safe later? This whole thing stinks of self-absorbed guilt which is nothing new from Sonny. I really shouldn't be surprised. Carly asks to talk to Sonny alone for a few. He hugs his dad good-bye (just for a while!) and goes off upstairs. Carly makes it clear that she doesn't want Sonny to see Morgan at all; to cut all ties. She tells Sonny about asking Jax to adopt Morgan.

Kristina comes to cousin Nikolas to ask for help. She tells him about the case and that she might be put on the stand. Why wasn't she put on the stand at the criminal case? Nikolas tells Kristina he can help.

Sonny and Carly argue about Jax adopting Morgan. They argue and argue and argue. She wants Morgan to grow up to be like Jax. Sonny says it's not going to happen.

Jason tells Lucky about what Claire is going to do. Lucky tells Jason about the possible blackmail.
Outside, Lulu and Dante talk about Jason.
Back inside, Jason thanks Lucky for being a dad to Jake. Jason says he'll be in prison within 24 hours.
Jason leaves. He's stopped by Lulu who wants to make sure that Dante is safe. Jason snarks at Lulu for defending her boyfriend instead of defending the family who cares about her. He stalks off. Dante wants to know what the hell is going on. Lucky tells him and adds, "which is a hell of a lot more then any of us are doing." Yeah - real fucking noble. And real fucking stupid. Want to help Michael? Stop being a fucking criminal.

Nikolas assures Kristina that he'll make sure it doesn't go to trial. Kristina is thankful because if she went to her dad, he would just kill them. NIkolas: "I take a different approach. I just make people wish they were dead." Hee. Can we have more of this Nikolas? He asks her how's she doing. She's getting better about understanding how wrong she was. Nik gets it because of what he did with Lucky and Elizabeth.

Lulu and Dante agree that Jason's plan might be good. He tells her that they're looking for dirt on Judge Carroll.

Jax is on the phone when Sonny busts in telling him that he can't have his son. Jax reminds Sonny that he signed away his rights to Morgan. They both think the other is the reason that Michael is where he is. Sonny threatens Jax...because that's what he does.

Carly tells Jason about the adoption. Jason tries not to judge. She tells him that they'll raise Morgan as divorced parents. Jason thinks it all goes back to him. He says asking Sonny to be Michael's father was the worst decision he ever made.

Lulu visits Luke. He's overjoyed to see her. She's glad he's not mad at her. She asks him if he has any dirt on Judge Carroll. He doesn't but he's happy that her kids are trying to blackmail a judge! Now that's good parenting!

Jax calls Sonny's bluff. Sonny, "You couldn't put me in prison. So now you're trying to steal my son." Because everything is about Sonny!! Jax tries to explain that it's about being a good parent. And now...Michael is in Pentonville because of Jax. God, I hate this guy. SO. MUCH. And...enter Dante.

The prisoners at Pentonville are called to line up. The guard yells at Michael for not knowing how to stand in a line. And seriously? Who walks over to the wall when all the other prisoners are standing in a line in the center... Are we sure he's not Jason's kid? The guard tells Michael he's going to be treated worse because of who his father is.

Carly is happy but skeptical that Jason is so accepting of her decision. Jason tells her about his plan to go to Pentonville. He tells her that he'll be with Michael 24 hours a day. Claire calls him - it's done - he has 5 years in Pentonville. She warns him that even if Michael gets out, he won't.

-end

May 4 2010

We begin where we left off: Michael says he did kill Claudia but the judge wants Michael to repeat the question and answer it again because the powers that be want to milk this as the entire teaser. After a flashback and ramblings by the judge regarding the rules of the court and warnings to answer the question, even though he did and more ramblings about Dante's testimony, the question is asked again. Michael answers, "Yes". Again. But this, too, is not good enough for the judge. He needs to hear "the words". Worst. Judge. Ever. And so Michael says all the words.

And after one scene, we get the credits.

And now the judge wants him to explain the whole thing. He starts with the party and tells the Judge everything we already know about what happened that night. Carly cries and everyone looks solemn. After the story, Michael tells the Judge that Sonny was never there. I really hope Carly gets jail time for perjury and Sam, Jason and Sonny get some for covering up a murder. The judge asks Michael if he meant to kill Claudia. He says he was just trying to save his mom and sister. The judge commends Dante and announces future sentencing for Michael. No trial? I mean was that really his trial? He doesn't get a jury? Diane tries to intercede but the Judge won't hear about bail. Dante requests to take Michael for processing. The judge allows it. Dante officially arrests Michael and Mirandizes him. He leads Michael off. After they leave, the judge drops all the charges against Sonny and then reprimands everyone. And I mean everyone. And finishes with a "get the hell out of my court room."

Gosh! 12 minutes down and only one scene.

Diane and Claire commiserate the possibility of being prosecuted. Olivia warns Jason to stay away from her son. She's glad that Lulu is in Dante's corner. Jax asks Claire what the Judge will do with Michael. Claire is more worried about her own ass - and I don't blame her. She thinks Carly did the most harm with all of the perjuring. She thinks the best Michael will get is a suspended sentence and mandatory therapy but she thinks Carly may not be so lucky.

Sonny talks to Carly and wonders what she's planning. Carly yells at Sonny: "I saw my son being handcuffed by your bastard". Ooooh...snap!

Dante books Michael. Michael wants to know why Dante turned him in. Dante explains that he did it for him. He wants a better life for him. People keep bringing up Michael's brain damage but he doesn't exactly ever act like someone with brain damage.

Sonny and Carly stupidly think that Dante wants to hurt Michael. They yell at each other. She blames Dante for everything. And once again it's everyone's fault but hers. Betrayal! Then she yells at Lulu again. But that's kinda Lulu's stupid fault for trying to approach her. And then Tracy! TRACY! Tracy lashes out with "Why are you blaming Lulu for a situation you created? You stole Michael from the Quartermaines. You gave him to Sonny. You have nobody but yourself to blame for all this misery!" FUCKING AWESOME.

Tracy and Carly have words while Michael gets mug shot and fingerprinted and gets put in jail.

Alice is disappointed when the judge tells the jury that the case has been dismissed. She tries to argue but the Judge tells him that Sonny's son confessed. Inappropriate! Diane congratulates Sonny for being a free man.

Jason's pad. He wants Spinelli to hack into the PCPD to make sure that Michael is treated well. Yes, do more crime. Jason thinks that Sonny now knows who Dante is.

At the docks, Olivia makes Sonny promise that Jason won't go after Dante. Sonny blah blah blahs...you kept him from me! blah blah blah, Dante betrayed me...! Oh the betrayal! Olivia finally speaks the truth: "This is happening to Michael because of you." She's floored that he can't see that. Welcome to the club, doll.

Carly waits at the PCPD interrogation room for Michael. Dante enters.

Carly calmly tells Dante that she wants to see her son. Dante tries to soften things but Carly starts to get annoyed. After he says that he's doing what's best for Michael because if Sonny had gotten away with murder, "Michael would have been sucked further into the mob", she asks, "Who the hell are you to make that pronouncement. Do you have some God-given ability to see the future?" Do you, Carly? I mean what did you think would happen to your guilt-ridden son when he saw his father be put away for a murder he committed? Dante tries to explain that Michael wanted to follow in Sonny's footsteps. Carly thinks Sonny would never allow it. Dante reasons that they couldn't stop him.

Olivia tries to make Sonny realize that his lifestyle is horrible for his kids. He doesn't get it. It's like talking to a brick wall. She's still not satisfied that Jason won't go after Sonny. She wants him to call Jason off.

Carly hugs her son and yells at Dante to get out. Michael doesn't want his mom to be mad at him but she isn't.

Spinelli updates Sam and Jason of his crime-related help. Jason wants Spinelli to join Bernie down in the Caribbean. Spinelli thinks Jason is going to kill Dante.

Carly assures Michael that he'll get a suspended sentence. Michael says that Dante said the same thing. Carly tells Michael not to trust Dante. A cop interrupts them to say that time is up. They reassure each other that everything will be fine and then part.

Jason doesn't answer the question which makes Spinelli thinks he's right. Jason blames himself. Spinelli tries to reason with Jason that if he's tied to this murder, Jason will go to jail for life....plus other reasons.

Johnny and Olivia commiserate about the whole mess. Johnny tells Olivia he'll keep going after Sonny.

Lulu and Dante meet at his loft.

Sonny visits Michael in his cell.

Olivia begs Johnny not to put his life in danger. She wants Johnny to stop the violence. As much as I like Johnny and Olivia together, she's a big ol' hypocrite for trading one mobster for another.

Carly arrives home. She tries to act brave for Morgan and tells him what happened. Morgan cries for his brother.

Dante tells Lulu what happened with Michael. He's glad Lulu has faith in him. Lulu is upset about Carly. Dante has faith that Michael will be free after Friday.

Michael and Sonny have a moment apologizing to each other....and then Sonny ruins it by blaming Dante. UGH. This guy. Jason watches as they talk.

Can we get a new story line tomorrow?

-end

May 3 2010

Lucky's gun is on Jason. Jason doesn't think Lucky will shoot him. Lucky, "Not in any place that will kill ya". Hee! Michael doesn't want anyone shot because of him. Jason just wants to take Michael away. Lucky wants to do what Michael wants. Jason informs Lucky of what transpired at the court house.

Claire is pissed that Jax knew everything. He argues that Sonny needs to pay for his lifetime of his crimes. Claire threatens that if her career goes down because of this (and I don't see why it would..), that he'll go down with her. Or on her?

Carly yells at Lulu. Lulu insists that Dante is the only one who is doing the right thing.

Sonny wants to know why Dante would hurt Michael. Dante is trying to save Michael so he doesn't grow up to be like Sonny.

Credits: Matt: Why couldn't I have been a Corinthos? Then I could get more screen time.

Jax house: Kristina and Molly meet Morgan there. He tells them that Ronnie was there looking for Michael. Kristina tells Morgan about what Dante did at court. Morgan can't believe that Dante give up Michael. Molly reminds him that Dante tricked him into giving away Michael's location. To the court room!

Carly and Lulu argue. Words like 'bitch' and 'selfish' pass Carly's lips. That's the bitch calling the kettle selfish.

Sonny doesn't understand this word called 'justice'. All he knows is the word 'protection'. Dante tries...but it's like teaching a stupid dog new tricks. Of course Sonny turns it into being about him and Dante tells him, "it's not about you!" But...Sonny Corinthos doesn't understand those words. Dante tells him that he wants to get Michael away from Sonny and his lifestyle.

Jax tells Claire to 'think like a lawyer." Claire threatens that he doesn't want her to think like a lawyer because she can prosecute him. Jax changes the subject by asking her if she thinks the judge believed Carly about Sonny killing Claudia. She thinks they need to still find Michael and Michael needs to agree with Carly's story.

Johnny talks badly about Dante to Olivia. He doesn't get why people protect Sonny. Me neither. Olivia tells Johnny that Dante is just doing his duty as a cop. Johnny thinks Jason will kill Dante over this.

Michael tells Jason he was going to confess anyway if his dad was found guilty. Jason and Lucky argue some more. Lucky yells at Jason to stop living Michael's life for him. Jason still doesn't budge. He pleads with Lucky to turn his head for 30 seconds. Lucky takes Michael away and Jason instructs Michael to wait for Diane. After they leave, Jason calls Diane and tells her to go to the PCPD.

Olivia doesn't think that Jason would kill a cop - but Johnny insists he will and he'll make it look like an accident. Johnny is furious with Dante, but doesn't want to see anything happen that will hurt Olivia.

Sonny: "blah blah blah, protection." Dante, "Your 'protection' hasn't done anything". Dante says he's only concerned with Michael having a better life.

Carly and Lulu.....ugh... so repetitive.

Claire thinks Jax is arrogant for framing Sonny. They argue some more....and I don't care. This whole episode is boring. It's just everyone blaming everyone else. Everyone else is wrong! No one owns up to anything.

Lucky brings Michael in. Diane tries to intervene but Mac stops her. He tells her that he needs to be processed first. Michael tries to tell Diane he's OK but she warns him to say nothing. Mac assures Diane that everything will be done by the book. Michael hasn't been arrested yet so he hasn't been 'Mirandized'. Wow....my mac recognized that word. Anyway, Mac Mirandizes Michael. Lucky takes him away for processing. Jason comes rushing in. Diane tells him that Mac wouldn't let Michael anywhere near her. Jason panics because this is the Worst Thing Ever.

Sam arrives at the PCPD. He fills her in and tells her the Judge wants to talk to Michael directly.

Lucky goes into judge's chambers. The judge is weary that Lucky didn't properly arrest him. He's confused to why Lucky brought him in despite Michael's confession to Dante and that Michael's been missing for weeks. Lucky says his orders were to serve the subpoena only. The Judge thinks he's being played. He thinks the reason why Lucky didn't arrest Michael was because he would have had to tell the court everything that Michael said.

Carly doesn't want to talk to Jax right now! Blah blah blah. Carly is mad at the world. All this is everyone's fault but hers! Jax wants to find away to fix this because apparently Carly is that good in bed.

Lulu and Dante commiserate. They both believe they're doing the right thing for Michael even though it looks like a betrayal to everyone else. Dante wants to teach Michael about being a good, honorable, law-abiding person! The wrath of Morgan comes in. He wants to know why Dante would give up their brother!

Olivia visits Sonny.....and there is more arguing. Betrayal! The Betrayal! To Sonny, it's Un. Forgivable. He actually says it like it's two words. Olivia brings up that Sonny shot Dante. IN THE CHEST. She wonders if he's going to finish the job. I'm not fast forwarding through the commercial right away because I'm dreading the..."I didn't know he was my son!" defense.

Jason tells Sam about Lucky holding a gun on him. Sam tells him that he needs to figure out a way to get Michael out of this.

The Judge asks Lucky if he has any ties to Michael. Cousins! The judge wants to know why Lucky didn't recuse himself from the case. Because everyone in Port Charles is fucking related. He says Mac asked him to find Michael. The judge asks Michael some psychological and totally inappropriate questions about Michael...which I don't think would ever happen. Lucky makes an impassioned speech about Michael.

Dante explains to Morgan why he did what he did. Dante is more optimistic than anyone else that nothing bad will happen to Michael. Morgan is worried that Michael will go to jail and Molly argues that Dante doesn't even like Michael that much. Dante says it's more complicated than that.

Olivia wants to know if Jason will kill Dante. Sonny says that if it were anyone else, they'd be dead. Olivia thinks if Sonny just told the truth...but Sonny was trying to 'protect'...blah blah blah. And don't worry, Sonny. Carly will never go to jail for perjury. He keeps using the words, "going after..." and doesn't realize that Dante's not "going after" anyone. He also uses the word "betrayal" a whole bunch of times until the word loses all meaning.

Carly finally admits to some blame by saying she shouldn't have gone along with the cover-up. She regrets the way Michael was brought up and she appreciates how Jax has brought Morgan up. Nice...how long will that last? She doesn't see a way back for them, but she hopes Jax will remain a constant in Morgan's life. They're interrupted by the phone. A judge clerk tells her about Michael.

Lulu and Dante try to reason with the kids who aren't making it easy. Morgan seems to understand though - which he tells Carly when she frantically runs over to her son. Carly instructs Kristina to take the kids home. She yells at Dante for lying to Morgan about Michael being OK.

Diane and Claire return to the court. They both agree that the case has gotten out of control and that Judge Carroll is playing by his own rules and they don't even know why they're there. It's a nice little camaraderie between lawyers.

Outside, Lulu comforts Dante. He sees his mom walking in with Sonny and goes to talk to her while Sonny comes to talk to Lulu. He, too, gets on her case. Lulu tiredly tries to explain again that they're trying to help Michael. Sonny: "You're not the person I thought you were." UGH - so. hypocritical. Head. Going. To. Explode.
On the other side, Dante wants to know why Olivia is showing up with Sonny. She's worried about him and warns him to stay out of trouble.
Jason and Sam watch them all go into the courtroom.

Who's Sonny blaming now? Diane! For not being able to get close to Michael. Diane snits that she told him to let Michael tell the truth from the beginning. She says it's out of her hands.

Everyone sits and gets ready for the Judge to enter. Hey! Mike is there! The Judge says he'll question Michael himself and there will be no interruptions. He makes a list of Nos. Michael enters in cuffs. They're removed before he sits down. First question, "Michael Corinthos III, did you kill your step-mother?"

DUN!

April 21 2010

Luke and Lucky talk about Ethan. Lucky doesn't want Ethan to run since it will make him look guilty. Luke has an idea of how Lucky can help...but it may require him "losing his badge".

Oh My God! Someone's actually checking out Sonny's old penthouse! It's been years since anyone lived there! I can't wait to see it! I've missed that place. Oh and by the way, it's Johnny looking. He's with Olivia. Are they moving in with each other?

Morgan continues to listen to Jax and Claire argue about the case. Jax criticizes Claire for putting kids through hell. Claire doesn't seem offended, just miffed that everyone is a freaking hypocrite.

Dante hands NuMichael the subpoena. And I still don't get the recast. I'm sure this guy Chad is fine but there was nothing wrong with Drew.

Credits: Matt: "Why don't they just recast me?"

Nikolas visits Elizabeth at the hospital to see how she's doing. She tells him that she and the baby are fine. They talk about oncology and Emily and...weird party music comes on. They see outside that CancerPatientPlotPoint is teaching Patrick to dance the Rumba.

Morgan calls NuMichael to tell him that Dante's on his way over. Too late! NuMichael lies to Morgan that it'll be OK and Dante hasn't found him yet. Dante tells NuMichael that Max and Milo have been "taken care of".

Max and Milo? In prison. Goofy music plays. Because it's all so goofy. Apparently Milo accidently asked the guard to fuck him from behind. Accidently. Yeah.

Jason doesn't think the "owner" will sell to Johnny. Olivia thinks that'll it will help the peace process for them to live across the hall from each other. What? How? Shut up, Olivia. We don't get to see the place, because Johnny, Olivia and the real estate agent leave.

Claire sounds reasonable when she tries to explain to Jax what she's doing and why. Jax says he doesn't use children. Yes, and Sonny doesn't hit women. You're all fucking saints. Claire tries to convince Jax that Michael's testimony is a necessity. Carly enters. Claire tries to leave but Carly stops her. She's got a few things to say. Mmm Hmm.

Patrick awkwardly dances with CPPP. She finally stops the music because it's all a little too much to bear. CPPP, this is Nikolas. Nikolas - CPPP. Patrick leaves to show Robin how he can't dance. CPPP reminisces about the 40s or 20s? MATT! It's Matt! He brings CPPP a big yellow boa and then she wraps it around his neck. Awesome. Way to earn that paycheck, Matt.

Lucky doesn't want to do anything illegal. Luke compliments Lucky about being a good brother and a good cop but thinks his talent is wasted. Maya enters hoping she's not interrupting. You are. Go away. Whoa. I gave that girl about three days before I started judging her. Come on Maya, give me a reason to give you a chance. Lucky leaves, so I guess she's there to see Luke. Maya wants insight about the Qs, specifically Edward.

Maxie barges into Jason's apartment yapping her gums. Something about a sauna. Jason doesn't want a sauna. She's so wacky! She should be in jail with Max and Milo. But Jason knows something's up because he's observant.

Carly tells Claire she's going to pay for what she did to Morgan. Claire pretty much calls Carly a hypocrite for bringing Josselyn into the courtroom. Carly says Claire tried to mince her words. Again, Claire calls 'hypocrite' because Carly committed perjury for a mob kingpin who makes life hell for his kids including one of them getting shot. Instead of defending her actions, Carly rubs her testimony in Claire's face. Claire leaves but not before giving Jax a bit of advice: "Best of luck. She's a real peach." Hee! Carly: "Don't you want to follow your girlfriend?" It's not a bad idea, Jax. If I had just heard that exchange, I'd be looking at my wife a bit differently too. Like some great epiphany or something...not the nurse kind. Jax asks why Carly lied for Sonny. She says she didn't lie for Sonny. She lied for Michael. Jax says that he was the one who stopped Ronnie from catching Michael. Carly says that's because he thinks Michael's testimony will set Sonny free. He says he did it because he loves Michael and he'll always be grateful to him for saving her and Josselyn. He walks off, dejectedly.

Dante tells Michael the facts from the case that put him at the scene. NuMichael finally tells Dante that Sonny wasn't there and he killed Claudia. Oy.

Maya tells Luke that Lucky was pretty blunt about Edward. She then asks him how a "cool guy like [him] could be married to Tracy. Eww, Maya. Hitting on an old man? They discuss Tracy. Luke tells her his original intentions for Tracy. Maya talks about her sister. Luke tells her that Edward always expects something in return. She wants to know if she can trust Edward. Luke: "Hell no!"

Maxie talks about Spinelli to an uncomfortable Jason. She wants more than Spinelli. She wants someone dangerous. Blah blah blah. If it ends the Maxie/Spinelli relationship, I'm all for it. But no, she's doing this all to keep them together. Spinelli comes home.

NuMichael starts to explain everything OldMichael did but Dante tells him to stop. Dante thinks NuMichael is lying. NuMichael insists he did it. Dante wants proof. NuMichael shows him proof: the bloody shirt.

The real estate agent shows Johnny and Olivia a new apartment. I thought maybe it was Sonny's apartment but it's backwards and smaller but looks similar in design. It's incredibly tacky. Olivia doesn't know why Johnny wants a new apartment. He jokes that he's got a girlfriend he's trying to impress. He describes the amenities. Olivia "holy shit"s at the price. Oh God, I hope they redecorate. The furniture/paneling is seriously tacky.

Dante doesn't think the shirt proves anything. Michael says it's Claudia's blood and tells the rest of the story. So Sonny got rid of his shirt but not Michael's? Michael answers my question by saying he gave Sonny his clothes but hid the shirt. And Sonny didn't notice that the shirt was missing? Dante still doesn't buy it. Michael says Franco has photos. He thinks it's about time everyone stopped covering for him although because Sonny has gone through all of this, NuMichael thinks Dante should appreciate their dad more. Shut up, NuMichael.

Patrick is at Jake's drinking. He sees a drinking Claire. Patrick gets a text from Robin that she's staying home. He airs his grievances to Claire who begins to air a few grievances of her own without revealing exactly what's bothering her. Now this is a couple I might like to see.

Jax meets Skye 45 minutes late at the Metro-Court. After they sit, he tells her a little about the case and that it may not go in his favor after Carly's testimony. He also wonders if it was all worth it even if Sonny does go to prison.

Jax continues to talk about his part in Sonny's trial, including hiring Claire Walsh. He's beginning to regret hiring her since she put Morgan on the stand. Skye makes a valid point that Sonny has no boundaries, so why should the prosecuting attorney? Jax ignores the little dose of wisdom and says he could make some calls to get the case to mistrial. Skye tries to bring Jax back down to Earth, asking him why he started this whole thing to begin with. Jax: "To get my whole family out of the line of fire." Because of that, Skye advises Jax to stay the course. Hmm, leaving Port Charles makes you all sensible-like. Careful, Skye. You're back now. Jax admits there's something he can't tell Skye that might ruin his marriage more than it already is. She tells him he has to make a choice then and ask himself what's more important: the war on Sonny or his family. And...we still don't know why Skye is back.

Claire and her drink joins Patrick and his. They discuss ethics. She brings up her moral dilemma. He tells her that he knows who she is. She blames the internet. Hee. He tells her that his wife is Dr. Robin Scorpio. She guesses that he's not her biggest fan. He proves her wrong by buying her a thank-you drink.

Also at Jake's? Maxie and Spinelli. He wants to know why the decorating is so important to her. Have you met Maxie? I mean she is a fashionista. But poor Spinelli is right. There is another reason she's not telling him: the danger. Wait. Danger of interior design? I know it's something like that.

Back at Jason's pad, Sam arrives. He tells her that Maxie forced him to do the interior designing but I think he secretly enjoys picking out fabric samples. Sam gets it. It's because of the danger. And the over-compensation. And the...well, I'm glad they get it. Sam knows what it's like to be hot for bad boys. She brings up the 'volunteering for prison' thing again. I'm actually glad she didn't just let that go so easily.

Olivia and Johnny watch the view from his potentially new apartment. She observes that Jason's apartment is right across the street. She jokes they can wave at each other or shoot at each other from across the street. I think it's so Johnny can catch Jason in a towel. That's why I'd move there. Price, be damned. He says he wants the apartment for her. He wants them to move in together. Olivia says that can never happen. She leaves. Is the real estate agent still outside? She's patient.

Jason tries to explain his choice to go to prison for Sonny. He lists a lot of reasons which don't include Sam. He apologizes and she conveniently forgives him and then they discuss sex costumes. Yeah. So I guess that discussion is over.

Maxie explains why she wants to redecorate except she doesn't mention the danger and the bad boys and the over-compensation. He says that all he needs is her.

Patrick tells Claire about Robin's fascination and blindness with Sonny. He says that Claire has an advantage to everyone else in Port Charles because she doesn't have any emotional ties to Sonny. Yet. Better not get to close to him, Claire - he might impregnate you just by looking at you. He renews her confidence that she's doing the right thing.

NuMichael and Sonny are on a plane back to Port Charles. Dante thinks forensics will prove NuMichael wrong about his confession. Michael asks what happens if he gets proven right. Dante: "If you get proven right, I don't know what I'm gonna do."

-end

April 19 2010

Kristina watches RoadKill's dad describing Kristina's "lies" on a webpage dedicated to Roadkill's memory. Alexis comes in and closes the laptop. Kristina is worried and upset about the fallout.

Dante tells Jason where Ronnie is. Jason calls him a traitor and says that all Dante cares about is bringing Sonny down.

Ronnie enters the hotel room on the island while Michael hides. Ronnie announces that he has a subpoena. Jax stops him.

Carly brings Josselyn to the stand. Really? Claire objects. So do I.

Credits: Jason Cook is counting his free money at home.

Carly lies that her nanny was supposed to pick up the baby but was running late. Sonny is worried because when Carly has a plan, it's never good. Diane, however, wants to see how it plays out. Claire thinks its prejudicial. Carly retorts. The judge agrees with Carly. Carly takes that opportunity to play to the jury saying that the trial is really about Josselyn. How, you ask? Because that's the kid that Claudia tried to steal. Well played, Caroline, well played. Judge calls a recess and tells Carly not to bring the baby back. She leaves the stand, parading Josselyn passed the jury.

Dante says he agrees with Jason that he doesn't want Michael on the stand. Jason doesn't buy it. Dante's all 'whatever,' He doesn't think Jason has done much to protect Michael either.

Jax uses the whole, "oh, the taxpayers are paying for this 'vacation'" argument as a stall tactic. Ronnie fishes; Jax lies. Ronnie doesn't get it.

Molly and Morgan watch Warren's video. Molly is upset that her mom will be going to jail. Morgan has a plan! Cause he's Carly's kid.

Alexis tries to calm Kristina but she whines and cries and talks about how 'nice' Mr. Bauer was....and would it be wrong to want Alexis to slap her? Kristina is worried her mom is going to jail. Alexis doesn't know what's going to happen but she promises they'll work things through. Alexis announces there's something she needs to do.

Jason and Dante? Still arguing. For someone who's made out to be so observant, Jason is so completely wrong about Dante and his intentions.

Jax and Ronnie...blah blah blah. Oh God, this episode is boring. Max interrupts and forcibly removes Ronnie.

Outside the courtroom, Sonny chides Carly for what she did. Carly think it's all going to work.

PCPD, Alexis walks in and sees Warren and Mac arguing. Roadkill's dad thinks Alexis is getting preferential treatment. He asks her why she didn't stop. She says she was in shock, taking her daughter to the hospital after his son beat her. He yells that that's a lie. All this is so unprofessional. They argue about who beat who. Roadkill's dad accuses her of sleeping with Mac to which she denies.

Dante visits Morgan at his request. Dante notices Molly is upset. Morgan tells him about the website. He wants Dante to make it all go away. Dante says it's a conflict of interest since Kristina is his sister. Morgan asks if there's anything he can do to help.

Jason yells at Max on the phone about letting Ronnie near Michael. Max tells him that Jax covered. Jason instructs Max to bring Michael somewhere else. Michael gets on the phone with Jason. He tells Michael it may be over in a couple of days and that Carly will be going on the stand today.

Carly gets sworn in. Diane begins the questioning. Carly describes what happened the night that Claudia kidnapped her. She sells it and Alice and other jury members eat it up. She finishes up the story by lying about Sonny being the one who hit Claudia. Sonny does this weird thing at the end where he shakes his head and I don't know if he's playing modest or he disapproves of what Carly was doing or what. I think they should have ended that scene on Carly's face...

Kristina eerily looks through Roadkill's website and all the pictures of them together. Sam stops by. Kristina guesses that Alexis called her. Sam confirms it. They talk about Warren's website and the man himself. Sam psychologises that Warren is doing the same thing as Roadkill: Being mean to her and then being nice to her...etc...basically fucking with her pretty little head.

Dante tries to explain to Molly and Morgan about Warren's rights. He excuses himself to get back to work. After he leaves, Kristina thinks she knows someone else who can help.

Mac snarks and Warren threatens and Alexis finally asks Mac to leave them alone. Alexis talks to Warren like he's three years old. But the guy is grieving so he won't be taking that. He vows to send her to prison and subtly threatens Kristina.

Carly finishes her story. She said it was her idea to cover up the murder. Claire continues. She picks apart Carly's story. She yells and Diane objects and Carly is the calmest one of all because she knows how to get a jury in her pocket.

Claire addresses the jury directly. Is this closing arguments? Claire talks about manipulation and then continues picking apart Carly's story. She tries to get Carly to trip up and she almost suceeds once or twice. She wants to know why Sam called Sonny instead of Jax. Response: I don't know. Badgering? Sustained! Claire brings up Michael's coma and Claudia's responsibility. Carly gets the right amount of emotional begging the jury not to send Sonny to prison for saving her daughter's life.

Kristina delusionaly says that RoadKill wasn't an evil person. She shows Sam the memorial. Sam tells Kristina to stop romanticizing Roadkill. Sam is worried about Kristina's relationship future.

On to the Restaurant of No Patrons where Conan is a lot taller than Molly! She asks to see Jason. Molly goes in to see Jason. She tells him about the video and asks him to "stop Mr. Bauer".

Diane asks one final question: "Do you believe that you and Josselyn would have been alive today if Sonny had not arrived at the cabin". Carly, "No." Claire has no further questions. Carly steps down. Sonny whispers to Diane not to bring in any more witnesses so Diane tells the judge that the defense rests.

Sam walks in to the PCPD and sees Alexis and Warren arguing. Alexis tries to explain how Keifer beat up Kristina twice but Warren doesn't believe it. He yells loudly for everyone to hear that he's going to make sure everyone knows she's a murderer and how Kristina got beat up because she's "a promiscuous little tramp that was asking for it". Sam's response? Uppercut to the chin! Dayumm! Go girl!

Kristina watches more pictures of Roadkill while remembering her beatings.

Molly tells Jason that Dante couldn't help so she wants Jason to stop Mr. Bauer. Jason: "Are you asking me to kill [RoadKill's] father?"

Morgan gets a call. It's Michael. Michael tells him where he is.

Recess time at court. Diane and Sonny are happy about Carly's testimony.
Claire tells Dante that Sonny is pretty much a free man.
Sonny comes out and thanks Carly and then kisses her. (Poor Jax!) Claire and Dante see it. She tells Dante that they need Michael.

-end

And I just have to share this. It's my niece and my parent's dog.

April 5 2010

Morgan, Dante and Sonny will be unhappy to know that the Yankees lost their first game of the season. Whoo hoo! Of course, they film about a month in advance, so I'm sure it won't be mentioned. The Mets? So far winning their first game of the season. Suck it, Corinthos.

We begin with Maxie doing her fake cough in front of the judge at GH. The bailiff brings her a bottle of water. Claire doesn't buy Maxie's sick routine but Maxie milks it for all it's worth. The judge wants to get out of there and Maxie says she doesn't remember the question. Claire says she's not surprised because she asked so long ago. Yeah, it feels like two days! Claire asks again if Michael was in the car. Maxie paddles around in a pool of ramblings and doesn't really answer the question. Claire asks one more time. Maxie? Coughs.

Why is Sonny not listening to this testimony? Sonny and Carly don't believe in Maxie. Jason thinks Maxie will do fine and only acts ditzy. He tells Sonny that if he really thinks Maxie is going to incriminate him, than he needs to get out of the country. ASAP!

Michael packs a bag and attempts to leave when Max stops him. How many times can we see this happen?

Alexis finds a bleeding Kristina and cries more than Kristina does. She asks if Kiefer did this.

Credits

Good Cop/Bad Cop drive. Dante wants to talk to Kristina again. They agree that they need proof or a confession from Kristina.

Alexis takes an apologizing and bleeding Kristina out of the Lake House.

Michael brown noses Max. He tries to reason with Max that he's not a kid and that Sonny will die in prison. Max tries to convince Michael that Diane and Sonny will pull off an acquittal.

Maxie finally answers that she doesn't know if anyone else was in the car. Claire asks a different way but Diane objects. Sustained! Claire asks about Spinelli. They get snarky with each other and it's kind of funny and totally unprofessional.

Sonny doesn't want to leave the country. He thinks they can still pull of an acquittal. Carly thinks he wants to stay because of Dante. I think it's because Maurice Benard wants to keep his day job.

Sonny says he wants to stay for Michael and Morgan. Carly disagrees. She wants him to "smell the coffee". Jason goes off to GH to check on Maxie. Carly thinks Jason left because he leaves whenever Sonny talks about Dante. Carly tries to get it into Sonny's head that Dante will never love him.

Maya introduces herself to Epiphany as the new intern. Epiphany is happy to see another black person in Port Charles. Steven comes by and introduces himself to Maya. Edward interrupts basically not-so-subtly requesting special treatment for his granddaughter. Maya tells Steven that she doesn't want or expect special treatment. Edward: "What good is money if you can't use it to buy influence?" Hee. Maya argues. Steven says that Maya got into the program by her merits, not her family and won't be getting any special treatment.

Ethan is at the Quartermaine's stealing an egg. A Faberge egg...not an egg from a chicken. Because that would be ridiculous. Skye walks in. She wonders why she's there. Skye looks fabulous in magenta. He wonders why she's so hostile and she says it's because he's a pig who beats up on teenage girls.

Dante and Lucky, guns drawn, enter the Lake house because things look amiss with the doors open. After checking out the place, they realize it's empty. Dante finds some blood on the floor. Lucky calls Ethan.

Alexis drives and cries. Kristina is unconscious in the back. Alexis remembers Keifer running passed her. She sees Keifer on the road and runs him down. Oh my God!!! Well if he's dead, I'm glad it was Alexis and not Sonny who killed him.

Dante tried to reach Alexis and Kiefer, neither of which answered. Lucky couldn't get ahold of Ethan either. They wait for forensics.

Epiphany catches Spinelli waiting for Maxie. She sasses. He sasses back. She warns him to stay out of the way. The court files out and Spinelli rolls in. Maxie tells Spinelli that Jason owes her big time. Jason, overhearing, comes in and says "I know."

Sonny and Carly argue about Dante. Sonny thinks Carly is the key to his acquittal.

Maya drags Edward away to chide him for being a total dick. She goes back to Steven who accepts her with open arms.
Alexis comes in with Kristina who hands her over to Steven. Maya hears Steven mention Ethan's name.

Ethan sits with Skye. He explains his history with Kristina. He calmly explains everything and Skye seems to be listening without judgement. She apologizes for jumping the gun and then says she understands why Kristina would lash out, talking smack about her parents.

At the Lake House, the forensic team is doing their job. Lucky gets a call from the hospital and tells Dante and the crew that Kristina was brought in. Dante gets all big-brother-pissed-off. He tells Lucky he'll go to the hospital. Lucky wants to track Ethan down.

Maxie tells Jason about her testimony. Spinelli and Jason are proud.

Sonny and Carly Zxzxxxxxxxxx. Sorry. Fell asleep for a second. So, Sonny and Carly dasjisdoas;asd. Wow, hit the keyboard that time. They're interrupted (thank God!) by Diane who tells Sonny and Carly about Maxie's testimony. Sonny gets a call from Alexis.

Spinelli and Maxie are thankful for Jason's gratitude. Maxie wants to know why she perjured herself, but she's realized by herself that Michael killed Claudia. Spinelli tells her everything.

Michael and Max argue some more. He still feels guilty about killing Claudia.

At the hospital, Alexis tells Sonny what happened. She doesn't want Sonny to go in because, "You scare her sometimes." Fair enough. Sonny waits outside while Alexis goes in. Steven thinks there might be a concussion. Kristina cries and apologizes some more. Sonny tells Jason that Ethan has to die.

Diane shares some wine with Carly. Carly tells Diane that she thinks Ethan is innocent and Kiefer is the guilty party.

At the hospital, Sonny greets Dante. He tells Dante to go in and look at Kristina and then tell him it was a good idea to drop the charges on Ethan. Dick. Dante talks to Kristina. Kristina blames herself. Dante comforts her. Steven: No broken bones but he wants to keep her overnight. Dante asks Kristina what happened.

At the Q house, Ethan is still collecting valuables. Maya interrupts. Worst. Burglar. Ever. She tells him about Kristina.

Jason sees Lucky at the Haunted Star. Lucky tells him that Ethan is no where to be found. Jason tells him that Ethan should be running. Lucky: "Did Sonny order you to kill him?" Jason: "I'm not going to answer that". Lucky pleads that Ethan didn't do it. Jason needs proof.

Sonny listens to Kristina and Dante talking. Dante brings up Keifer. He asks her again who did it. She finally admits it was Keifer.

Kiefer? Not dead...and slowly waking up on the ground.

Mets? Still winning. Suck it, Corinthos.

-end

March 12 2010

Dante and Lulu are foreplaying. She's really putting a lot of pressure on him for the sex to be good. Lulu is waiting for the inevitable interruption. Dante tells her to relax but now he's all nervous they're going to be interrupted.

Sonny tells Claire that the subpoena is invalid since Michael is an adult and it needs to be handed directly to him. Claire makes note that since Michael is an adult, he will be held in contempt if he doesn't show.

Keifer is going crazy outside Alexis' house.

At the Haunted Star, Ethan is really angry and is man-handling his stalker, Kristina. OK, he's wrong to lay his hand on her, but she really is kind of a nut lately.

Credits.

Jason visits Maxie in ICU. She tells him what happened with Spinelli. She's worried about Spinelli and his stupidity instead of her health. She wants him to find Spinelli to talk to him, all the while hocking up a lung.

Carly and Claire threaten each other. Claire tells them to have Michael in her office by 9AM. Carly and Sonny lie that Michael is traveling on spring break. Claire thinks that's interesting timing. Carly and Sonny say he's unreachable. Claire's pretty smart. She says all the right things, and pushes all the right buttons without stepping over that line and then she leaves with a final comment on justice. The actress nails it.

Michael watches Max and Milo getting distracted. The brothers talk about Max's flexibility....and speaking of Diane, Max tells Milo, "What happens on the island, stays on the island". That Vegas campaign has ruined many lives. In the other room, Michael opens up the door to see Bernie who ends the party. He basically orders Michael to stay on the island until the trial is over.

Dante and Lulu? Still not having sex. They talk about everything that's not stopping them. She finally takes off his shirt. And...of course, Kate calls Lulu's cell. Oh hey! It's actually Kate! Kate tells Lulu that if she doesn't have an assistant in her office in five minutes, she and Maxie will be fired. And since Maxie is stuck in the hospital...

Kristina is upset because of what she thought she overheard Ethan say. Ethan is not exactly being sympathetic but a stalker needs to hear the honest truth. Luke is sick of the show and wants them to leave. Instead, Ethan yells at Kristina to leave. After she leaves, Luke is disappointed at the way he handled the situation.

Jason finds Spinelli who sulkily sits in the middle of the hospital in his wheelchair. He tells Jason what he told Johnny which means we already had this conversation.

Carly thinks Claire is smart. Sonny thinks she's just trying to scare them. Carly thinks it's worked. Sonny: "Federal Prosecutor Walsh is going to have a few surprises when the trial starts." Rut-Roh.

Luke takes Ethan into the office. Ethan has some harsh words about Kristina. He says he had to get tough with her because Kristina wouldn't take no for an answer.

Kristina goes to the metro-court bar. She orders a Cosmo but Sam shows up and changes the order to a Shirley Temple. Kristina doesn't want to talk, but Sam notices a mark on her arm. Sam pries it out of Kristina that the mark was from Ethan.

At Mode-Lite, Kate chides Lulu for being late amongst other things including an exclusive stolen from them because Maxie was a no-show at some meeting. Kate is losing it. Lulu gets Maxie on the phone with Kate. Kate tells her that if she's not in the office in an hour, she'll be fired.

At the hospital, Jason and Carly discuss Claire and Michael.

Sonny visits Luke. He's worried about connecting with Dante. He insults Olivia and then asks Luke to see if Lulu will help out.

Claire visits Dante. She wants Dante to find Michael.

Maxie checks out of the hospital despite Epiphany's warning. Spinelli rolls in and moans some more about himself. Maxie thinks Spin is still upset and thinks it's Jason's fault for not talking to him correctly. Spin says the blame should all be on him. Maxie, frustrated, tries to tell Spinelli that it's not his fault but needs to rush off to Kate. Outside, she's not breathing great and she puts her hand on her heart like she has a pain.

Sonny blah blah blahs...I didn't know he was my son...blah blah blah...everyone lied....blah. Luke says he'll see what he can do but Lulu doesn't like when he meddles. I think it's more that Luke just doesn't like to get involved.

Dante tries to convince Claire that Michael is not needed on the stand. Claire thinks the circumstantial evidence isn't enough. She asks him what he is: the damaged son or a cop.

Sam has brought Kristina home. As they enter the house, Sam asks Kristina what she was doing with Ethan to begin with while Keifer listens. Inside, Kristina tells Sam what she did. Of course, Sam turns it into a big strong man abusing a little girl which is totally missing the point. She tells Kristina of a really stupid thing she did to a guy when she was a kid which doesn't even turn out to be true. Keifer watches from the window as Sam comforts Kristina.

Sonny finds Dante waiting for him at his house. Dante talks about his first arrest who died yesterday in prison. He said he visited the guy once in prison: The guy always had a look like he had something he was guilty about and wanted to talk about it and finally felt better when he did talk about it. Dante says he gets the same look from Michael. He implores Sonny to bring Michael back and tell the truth.

Kate yells at Lulu to get a model. She then wants to talk about Dante. She tells Lulu not to let her relationship with Dante interfere with her job. Maxie comes in. Kate yells at Maxie while she coughs. Kate tells her about what happened with the exclusive. Maxie continues to cough like she's dying.

Kristina talks about how cool Ethan is. Sam reminds her that he's older. Not ironically, Sam brings up Sonny saying Sonny wanted her to talk to Kristina. They get into daddy-issues and eww-ness. Sam offers to stay but Kristina says she can go. After she leaves, Kristina hears a knock at the door. It's Keifer: "Have fun blowing me off for Ethan, you bitch?"

Maxie, Lulu and Kate talk about layouts and funeral fonts and Dante. After Maxie goes outside, her coughing gets worse. Kate and Lulu rush out to see what's up.

Sonny wants Dante to do what's right. Maybe he should lead by example. Sonny seems like he's close to telling Dante the truth when Jason walks in.

Sam goes to the Haunted Star. She warns Ethan to stay away from Kristina.

Keifer screeches at Kristina. He smacks her and she falls to the floor. Time for another PSA!

-end

March 11, 2010

Dante comes to visit Carly at the metro court. He wants to know where Michael is. She lies and says she doesn't know.

Max and Milo are having fun on the island playing shuffleboard. Michael isn't having fun. He feels like he's in prison.

Sonny visits Alexis at his office. She, too, wants to know where Michael is and what Sonny is trying to hide.

Credits

Patrick and Lisa are cliched in the elevator. Patrick thinks Lisa did it on purpose. She insists that she didn't and what happened in the locker room was just her changing clothes. Patrick wants her to know that nothing is going to happen between them. She claims she's moved on.

Ethan is dressed like he's in a 1970's John Travolta movie. Luke approves. Tracy is giddy because they're no longer in debt. Ethan tells Tracy about his date tonight with Jennifer.

Kristina whores it up while Molly admires her. She actually looks kinda pretty, but still very young. She tells Molly she's not going to the frat party. She wants Molly to hack into Ethan and Jennifer's e-mail accounts sending a message to each of them that the other cancelled.

Alexis thinks Michael saw what happened. Sonny says he didn't. Alexis wants to know the truth and Sonny lies that he's already given it to her. He gets all haughty about his money saying he's paying her to convince the jury of "the truth" and if she can't do that, to get off the case.

Carly and Dante argue about Claudia, Sonny, Michael and Morgan. She compares him to Sonny. They both want to help Michael but have different ideas about how that should be done. Oh no she didn't: Now, Carly is actually blaming Dante for her split with Jax. She and Sonny really are kindred spirits. I....I have no words.

Maxie is still in the hospital and Robin is very worried about her. Maxie claims she feels fine and wants to return to work. Robin tells her that she needs to be monitored for 24 hours. Mac comes in wondering how Maxie ended up in a sewer. She's a little pissed at Robin, who makes no apologies for calling Mac, and tells Mac that she's fine.

Outside the hospital curtain, Spinelli admits his plan was "terrible". I can think of some better words for it. He continues to whine about Maxie not seeing him as a hero. Johnny is unbelievably sympathetic telling him that Maxie is madly in love with him and he needs to get out of his own way.

Tracy doesn't approve of Ethan's date. Luke defends her. Ethan insists they're just going clubbing. Tracy wonders why, with all the beautiful women that come into the casino, he has to choose one with mob connections. Luke: "Wiring." Ethan gets a phone call and takes it in the other room. Tracy wants to know what's with his kids and mob connections. Again Luke answers, "wiring". Ethan comes back to say Jennifer has to work. Luke has to go to Vegas. Tracy wants to come but he wants her to stay to look after the Haunted Star and make sure Ethan doesn't burn it down.

Completing her plan, Kristina calls Keifer to let him know she can't make the frat party. Molly tells Kristina that she took care of the e-mails, but she doesn't understand why Ethan doesn't just ask Kristina out if he likes her. She says they have to be discreet for now. She asks Molly for another favor. She wants Molly to tell Alexis that she went out with Keifer. They discuss the pros and cons of Ethan and Keifer and somehow Twilight makes it into the conversation which makes me cringe.

Alexis talks about the importance of why Sonny killed Claudia and that he doesn't approve of violence against women for Kristina's sake even though she thinks he didn't kill Claudia for the reasons he says.

Carly tries to guilt Dante about sending his father in prison. He thinks the police will find Michael no matter what and asks Carly if she really wants her son being brought back in police custody. Claire comes in and asks Dante if he's had luck finding Michael. Carly wants Claire to talk directly to her since she's Michael's mother but Claire says that Michael is an adult in the eyes of the law. Dante tells Claire they can convict Sonny without Michael's testimony. No, they can't. Carly leaves them to talk. Dante tries to argue that MIchael will be a disaster on the stand. Claire thinks he's just protecting his family. Carly watches from the side lines with her smushy smug little face.

Epiphany takes blood from Maxie and rushes to get it tested. Maxie insists that she's fine. Robin goes off to put a double rush on the tests after telling Mac not too worry. Spinelli comes in and Mac isn't happy to see him. Maxie yells at them not to yell. Spinelli admits that he's responsible for all of it.

Lisa philosophizes about the universe. Lisa is hot, so she takes her undershirt off which reminds Patrick of spring break.

Milo wins the shuffleboard game! Milo, Max and Michael have a three stooges moment. Michael is all whiney about his dad and whatever. "Plan" music pops up as Michael asks them if they want food. He goes to order food service but on the phone, he tells the concierge he wants to "surprise [his] father's men".

Dante doesn't think that Michael saw anything but Claire thinks getting him out of the country proves that he did. Dante continues to make excuses and Claire finally asks him if he wants to recuse himself from the case. They argue the pros and cons of putting Michael on the case. Dante gets a call from Lulu. She needs to see him.

Oh God, this episode is only half over.

Mac still wants to know what Maxie was doing in the sewer. She tells him it was a very important case. He wants to know what Johnny is doing there. She says that Spinelli texted Johnny to save them. Mac wants to know why she didn't call the police or him. He thanks Johnny for saving his daughter and then tells him to go. Johnny complies. Mac wants Spinelli to go too, but Maxie tells him to stay.

Dante tells Lulu about his conversation with Claire. She wants to show him a favor that she did for him.

So Michael did order room service for Max and Milo. Food, drinks and two Island girls. Nice. Max and Milo are glad to see what Michael has gotten them. Max, come on! What about Diane? This isn't the Sopranos.

Carly tells Sonny that she thinks Dante is coming around because he told the prosecutor that they don't need Michael's testimony. Sonny is happy about it.

Patrick and Lisa talk about the past and oh God, I'm bored. The elevator finally starts moving again. When they get out, Epiphany and Robin are waiting for them along with the maintenance man, Vern. Vern said there was a sign saying the elevator was due for maintenance but Patrick didn't see it.

Mac fights against Spinelli to Maxie and then leaves. Spinelli thinks Mac is right. He tells her that he made the case up so he could be her hero. He also tells her that Johnny was there by random chance and she could have died if he hadn't passed by.

Lulu shows Dante a new set. It's a giant loft that 'could be [his].' On a cop's salary?

Sonny tells Carly of Alexis' theory. They're both disgusted that Alexis could think that. I don't think it's that far a stretch. And is that supposed to make us feel better about Sonny? That he wouldn't beat a woman to death, but he'd shoot an unarmed cop in the chest point blank. I mean what's the difference? Claudia put a hit out on him, ended up putting a bullet in his son's head and did countless illegal mob-related acts. What did Dante do? He lied. But it's wrong to hurt Claudia because she has breasts? That's fucked up sexist logic right there. Oh and he also wants to tell Dante the truth about what happened.

Alexis arrives home to Molly's lies. They talk about going to see a DISNEY movie and how awesome it is. Shameless, shameless plug, Disney's owned ABC.

Ethan is dealing and conning. Luke and Tracy chat about Ethan's date canceling. Edward calls to summon Tracy about Alice. She leaves. The guy playing at Ethan's table accuses him of being a shark. Luke tries to smooth things over and gets him a drink on the house. He takes over dealing. Kristina shows up at the bar and asks Ethan for a drink.

Dante likes the apartment because it reminds him of Brooklyn. And again, seriously, on a cop's salary? They start to make out.

Max, Milo and Michael are limboing with the island girls. Michael takes advantage of Milo and Max's distraction and slips out.

Carly and Sonny fight about letting Dante know the truth. Claire interrupts, giving them a subpoena for Michael.

Kiefer angrily knocks on Kristina's door calling her a bitch. I really wish Alexis and Molly were home to hear this.

Ethan tries to get Kristina to leave. She delusionaly thinks that Ethan would rather be with her than Jennifer letting slip that she may have had something to do with Jennifer canceling the date. Ethan finally gets mad and takes Kristina by the arm forcing her to leave and she throws a drink at him.

-end

March 5, 2010

Day Five of Unemployment. That's one week! I'm going to see Alice in Wonderland soon so let's get started!

Johnny is watching a masked Lucky at Jake's. He asks, "What's with the mask?" Lucky: "You tell me." Meanwhile Maxie is still staring at Johnny and Spinelli doesn't like it. She again says she likes how Johnny is willing to stand up for what he believes in. At the bar, Lucky tells Johnny about what he saw at Bernie's, accusing Johnny. Johnny says he's got the wrong guy.

Jason and Carly ponder Franco's intent with the picture and his message "Kill soon or I'll have to kill first".

Sonny has been summoned to the PCPD. He thought it was Dante but it wasn't. It was Claire. She reintroduces herself to Sonny telling him that she's the woman who's going to put him in prison with Dante's help. Cocky, ain't she?

Credits

Carly thinks Franco is trying to scare them regarding Michael. Jason thinks it's about him. They agree that they've made a lot of mistakes but they also agree they need to concentrate on Sonny.

Lucky throws the mask down at Johnny. Johnny says it's not his.
Maxie tries to explain Lucky and Johnny's psyches to Spinelli. He's interrupted by a call from Jason. Maxie is proud of him but Spinelli's ego is still pretty bruised. Maxie gets up and bangs into a very very big man. They apologize to each other but Spin takes it as an opportunity to get all manly and challenges the guy to a duel. But in latin. So the guy doesn't understand what he means. No one really understands what he means. Maxie gets him out of it and then chides Spinelli for getting himself in trouble.
Lucky continues to question Johnny. He tells Johnny the police aren't his enemy and that Sonny is. Since Johnny has been breaking the law quite a lot lately, aren't they both his enemy?

Diane and Alexis' new law offices look fabulous. And...not unlike the metro-court. After a few busy phone calls, they get settled in the same office because Diane's office isn't finished yet. Alexis would "rather be slowly roasted over hot coals." Diane looks sad. Aww. But hey, if a character gets her own set, she should be around for a while. I don't know why Diane still doesn't have a contract. She's awesome on Cougar Town as well. Check her out!

Claire has questions for Sonny but he tells her to call his lawyer. He tells Dante that he shouldn't be out of the hospital so soon. Dante is pissed at Claire, saying she brought Sonny in on purpose to test whether he'd testify against his father. Claire, "Guilty as charged." And then to Sonny, "Does that sound familiar? Probably not, but it will soon." Hee! Sonny again tells her to call his lawyer. Claire tells him she can't wait to see him in court and walks off. Sonny thinks she's just scared and that's why she's trying to intimidate him. Dante thinks Sonny should be afraid and he'll be proud and honored to put him in prison.

Lucky basically warns Johnny to tone it down. Johnny reveals nothing. Ethan comes in. Lucky tells Johnny if he wants to go on a suicide mission, he'll let him. But he won't let Johnny take Ethan along.

Jason is putting Spinelli to work at his pad. He wants Spinelli to find Franco. Once he does, Spinelli wants to go after Franco with Jason. Jason tells him he needs him at the computer. Spinelli goes on one of his whiney, self-loathing journeys. Jason doesn't know why Spinelli wants the adventure when his talent is in computers. He tells Spinelli to make a video game about sleuthing and make millions. Spinelli gets a light bulb over his head.

Alexis doesn't want to work face to face with Diane because she doesn't like the yakking and the sex whispering with Max. She thinks she won't be able to focus. Diane tries convincing her. And not much else happens in this scene but it's very entertaining. I think Alexis should start dating Milo. They can double! Alexis is really being a baby about the whole shared space thing and then ends up in the broom closet. Why can't she work at the reception desk?

Sonny talks about that time he wanted Dante to take over his organization. Dante gets all nervous and fidgety and defensive. And Sonny talks about unconditional love and the "if I had known" bullshit that he brings up constantly and building on what they've got. Dante: "...which is nothing". Dante says he has to work on dismantling the rest of the organization when Sonny's in prison. It's all more complicated than Dante is saying and I wish he would realize it and talk to someone about it. More than he let's spill to Lulu. I'd like to see this character have a real break down about the fact that his dad is pretty much who he considers to be the anti-christ. And as much as I'd like to see Sonny in jail or...you know...dead, I want to see the struggle inside Dante and eventually have himself taken off the case. He already gets a little crazy when Sonny tells him that he's under his protection. Which is another deluded condescending Sonny thing. Dante tries to make it clear that he'll do everything he can to put Sonny in prison (except tell that Sonny shot him in the chest). Dante tells Sonny that he's just someone who "got [his] mom pregnant and then moved on to her cousin." Sonny compares their shared stubbornness.

Alexis has apparently decided that the desk with Diane is better than the broom closet. They argue about food in the office and personal pictures on the desk. Alexis drives out Diane with her bologna sandwich when Nik stops by. He wanted to see the new office. She tells Nikolas about Elizabeth's reaction to the trust.

Lucky tells Jason about his run-in with Johnny. Why is Lucky reporting to Jason? I know he's there to ask Jason to look the other way, but he could lie about what he found out.

Sonny is now at the Haunted Star having a drink with Luke. Luke rambles about Joey Limbo and Jason and Johnny and Ethan. He's worried about his son. He wants to make sure that Ethan is safe from Sonny's mob enforcing.

Carly visits Michael at Sonny's. Michael hates that he can't go anywhere without Max or Milo. Carly doesn't want another confession. Michael hates all the lying. Isn't he the one that wants in Sonny's organization? He'll have to do a ton more lying then.

Dante hates being set up! But it's Claire's job to get the truth! Claire goes over the evidence. She reminds me of one of those Charmed girls but much less annoying. Claire let's slip that she may be worried about losing the case. He tells her about the almost-confession of Michael's which Claire didn't know. Dante doesn't want Michael on the stand but Claire wants to use everything possible to put Sonny in prison.

Nikolas thinks that Elizabeth will come around. He doesn't even care if the baby is Lucky's. Alexis: "You have a son that you barely see. Why do you want another child?" Hee. I love how everyone picks up on that. Nikolas just wants to provide financial support. I wonder when they're going to SORAS Spencer. Nik leaves and Diane comes back in. Diane thinks Alexis should be charging Nikolas especially if Sonny goes to prison, their main source of income will be gone.

Elizabeth is rocking in her crazy rocking chair. She gets a visit from Steven who has brought brownies which reminds her of the four musketeers. She's come to a decision: It doesn't matter who her baby daddy is, she's going to raise the kids herself. Steven wonders if she can do that.

Michael is whining again. Carly brags to her son about being an amazing liar. Gosh, she's a great mom.

Sonny reassures Luke that they're cool. Luke talks about Karma and how the two of them ended up with sons that are cops.

Lucky keeps talking about his theories on Johnny...to Jason. He pleads with Jason to leave Johnny and Ethan alone. Spinelli overhears. After Lucky leaves, Spinelli worries about Johnny. Jason doesn't want to retaliate but he thinks he may have to if Johnny pushes too hard. Another light bulb goes up over Spinelli's head. I hope we get to hear about it this time.

Elizabeth is insulted at the insinuation that she can't make it as a single mom. Steven just thinks she should be reasonable because having a job with three kids and Gram "getting older" (ouch!), is going to be hard without keeping her options open.

Lucky orders a ginger ale from Ethan at the Haunted Star. Does this place ever have more than one customer at a time? I miss Luke's old place. Lucky apologizes about how awful he was to Ethan when Ethan first came to town. He compliments Ethan on being a good brother and wants to return the favor. He asks Ethan if he has a green card.

Maxie rushes home to Spinelli after getting a frantic message. Spinelli tells Maxie about a fake(?) case involving a serial killer at the metro-court. He asks for Maxie's help. Is that wise considering her sister was murdered by a serial killer? She wants to help him.

Dante visits the Corinthos house and finds Michael. Michael says that Sonny isn't home but Dante came to talk to him.

Ethan doesn't admit that he's illegal. Lucky tells Ethan that he'll be safer back in Australia. Ethan doesn't agree, so Lucky tries to arrest him when Luke walks in.

Nikolas visits Elizabeth. She doesn't want help. Nikolas brings up the fact that Jason set up a trust for Jake. He wants to know why Jason can help his kid, but he can't.

Johnny arrives home to his garage front and Jason shoots him with a paint ball. I want to play! I want to play!

Dante wants Michael to have a better life. Michael thinks he'd have a better life if Dante lies on the stand. They argue about Sonny and it seems Michael is about to confess when Sonny comes in and tells Dante to leave. Dante asks Sonny why he's being so unwelcoming. He asks Sonny if it's because he thinks he may find out the "big bad truth". He says he may already know. I guess we'll find that out on Monday. Or I can just tell you now: He doesn't.

-end