May 24 2010

NYC is a large place; How did Carly find Brook Lynn? Who cares. OK - Carly is trying to convince Brook to take money in exchange for helping her. Brook sidesteps but you know she's going to take the deal. She reminds us that she doesn't get her trust fund money until she's 30 and her parents aren't exactly thrilled with her. I wonder if Lois and Ned are back together. Brook wants Carly to get to the point. Carly mentions Dante.

Also sidestepping? Lulu. She claims she's busy with work. Dante thinks Lulu is all frazzled because of Michael. She talks about secrets and the "right time to tell them".

Sonny picks up his phone as instructed by Johnny. He gets some bad news. Johnny mentions some Italian names who are working with him now. Sonny makes an empty threat about killing Johnny.

Jason enters Michael's cell. Michael looks like Liz did on Valentine's day years before. He's totally shellshocked. Don't worry, Mikey - it usually only hurts the first time. Jason tries to get through to him.

Credits: I can't make fun of Matt anymore since he appeared twice in one week so... Monica, "Hey remember me? I'm a veteran!"

At the hospital, Lucky runs into Maya who is on her way out. He asks if she's seen Elizabeth. He was supposed to take the kids home but apparently Liz took them home.

At Liz's house, the kids are running rampant while Elizabeth has a headache. Nikolas is at the door. She forgot her ultra-sound appointment. Nikolas takes it personally for some reason.

Brook recounts the Falconeri/Cerillo connections. Yeah they all knew each other. Carly tells Brook about Sonny being Dante's father. She's surprised but enjoys the gossip.

Sonny holds the gun on Johnny but has no intention of using it. Johnny is just as smug. They both threaten each other and it's so boring. Sonny hides his gun as Ethan and Claire run in. Sonny is pissed at Max for being a bad bodyguard. Claire wants to know what she's doing there. Johnny says he wants to report an attempted murder. His. Points for creativity, Johnny but it's just so stupid. Any court would see that it's a set up.

Jason tries to talk Michael out of the shellshock but has no idea what happened. Right now he just thinks that Michael has been beaten up a little. Michael just rocks back and forth. Jason tries to distract him with other talk. Talk about the beach on the island snaps Michael out of it a little. And no, they're not talking about the final episode of Lost.

Johnny tells Claire that Sonny was holding a gun on him but the gun has already been hidden. He blames Ethan for being late. Claire asks Sonny if he really wants to be on trial for murder so soon after his last trial. Sonny blames Claire for Michael's conviction because he's a hypocritical dick. Sonny kicks everyone out but Claire stays. Sonny snarks that she's working for Johnny. She says she has probable cause to search the place because of what took place and reminds him that she heard him talk about killing Ethan. He tells her to go ahead and says he's going to visit Michael, whose conviction he again blames on Claire because he's a hypocritical dick.

Jason still thinks Michael was just hit and interrogates him about it. Michael doesn't want to talk about it. When Jason goes to touch him, Michael flinches. He blames himself for Jason being in there. Maybe Michael owes him a lil' somethin' somethin'. Hey, it's not rape if it's consensual.

Brook realizes that Carly wants her to go up to Port Charles to sleep with Dante. After she protests that she's not a hooker, Brook finalizes the deal by getting free room and board at the Metro-Court, unlimited spa and room service access. Also? She wants to sing there. I'm getting my plane ticket....now. Where is this magical place called Port Charles where people pay you big bucks to sleep with hot men?

Dante isn't sure what's going on but he wants to skip the argument and make up. Lulu doesn't think he has anything to be sorry about. They rehash the whole Michael decision and I'm bored. Phone! It's Claire. She wants Dante to come to Sonny's. Dante leaves with plans to get a drink with Lulu later at Jake's.

Nikolas doesn't think the baby is Liz's priority. Liz doesn't think that's fair. Lucky shows up and Liz realizes that it's his night with the kids. She's sorry that it slipped her mind. Lucky takes them away. Nik starts to fight again. Nik thinks two kids, being pregnant and a full time job is too much for her and wants to know what she's going to do about it.

It's Matt! Maxie shows up to Jake's with an awful haircut. She feigns that she's there to meet him as a friend.
Johnny and Ethan arrive at Jake's all happy with themselves and order shots to celebrate. Ethan turns and bumps into Maya causing her to spill her beer all over herself.

Claire tells Dante about what happened with Johnny and Sonny. She wants his help to search the house.

Michael wants to know about home. Jason tells him a little about Kristina. They talk about Carly and Dante. Jason admits that he hates Dante. Michael asks Jason not to tell anybody about how he was when he first arrived - all shellshocked and stuff. Jason talks about Brenda and how when he didn't talk, it drove her crazy. He says sometimes he didn't talk just to annoy her. HA! The guard comes over to tell Michael his dad is there.

In the visiting room, Sonny wants to know right away who hit him. Sonny says that Jason will be there to protect him. Michael wants Sonny to know that he's not as weak as Sonny thinks he is.

Elizabeth blames the hormones. Nik thinks she's doing too much. They fight and argue and... He wants her to live at Wyndemere and not work. She says she'll never move to Wyndemere.

Dante makes excuses about not searching the house. Claire thinks Dante is just protecting his father and can't even admit that Sonny shot him. He finally admits it to Claire's surprise and amusement but she says it doesn't do them any good now. It doesn't? Is the statute of limitations 3 months for attempted murder?! Why doesn't she go and arrest Sonny right now? He self-flagellates, she snarks. Did I mention I love Claire?

"Warden Powell" comes to visit Jason. He says he was wary about assigning Michael and Jason as cellmates but he went along with it...although he doesn't say why. He tells Jason that if he gets into any fights, he'll put Jason in solitary for the rest of his term and Michael will get another cellmate. Jason agrees but has a request.

Sonny wants to be all protective dad. (too late) He infers that Michael got beat up because of him. Michael insists he'll be fine. Sonny says he's trying to get him released and tells him to stay out of trouble.

Ethan tries to clean Maya up and accidently cops a feel. Maya takes over. He says he found a new lucrative job and will buy her a new shirt.

Matt and Maxie talk about Milan. She's impressed that he knows so much. She excuses herself to say hi to Johnny. Johnny wonders where Spinelli is. She tells him he's all depressed. Maxie tells Johnny of her plan to rile Spinelli up. Oops, Matt overhears, gets mad and leaves.

Nik and Liz fight some more. He brings up the past. She regrets that they ever slept together and she says she regrets that he's the baby daddy. He threatens that that's the worst thing she could have said to him. She finally kicks him out.

Michael comes back to his cell. A guard takes Michael away and the other guard tells Jason he has a visitor too. He's brought to see Sonny. Sonny makes his second death threat of the episode. Seriously, Sonny? Stop with all the fucking death threats. Who in Port Charles hasn't Sonny threatened?

Liz goes to visit Lucky. She tells him all about Nikolas.

Sonny, "I appreciate what you're doing...but you left me in a hell of a mess." For fucking seriously? Jason is in fucking jail and you're going to make a....oh for... I can't. I quit! I fucking quit. Breathe in. Breathe out. And I'm back. Sonny tells Jason about Johnny and Ethan and Claire. Sonny makes plans to crush Johnny.

Michael is with the prison doc.

Mode Lite! Carly rushes in to see Lulu. She says she's changed her mind and doesn't think Lulu should tell Dante about the abortion.

Dante arrives at Jake's to hear Brook Lynn singing "When you wish upon a star". Thanks, Disney. Yes, we all know ABC is owned by Disney.

Fuckers.

-end