March 3, 2010

Day three of unemployment. I actually applied for unemployment today. Fun! I'm just going slightly mad.

Also mad? Elizabeth, standing at her window when Lucky comes in. She wants to peel her skin off which is totally gross. Oh...she meant that metaphorically? Lucky thinks she's having second thoughts about the paternity test. She isn't but there is something she needs from Lucky. She doesn't want him to be at the hospital when she gets the test.

Robin has brought over a giant cupcake for Sonny. It would have said, "Congratulations, you've beaten the system again" in icing, but there wasn't enough room. He's touched that she's checking up on him. He says he's doing ok and has to deal with the fact that he shot his own son. She wonders if he can. He infers there's something she wants to tell him. She is, in fact, having trouble dealing with the fact that he shot an unarmed man; a cop. Everyone knows this, yet no one can get a conviction out of it? What happened to CSI? She thinks she knows the real Sonny underneath the mobster facade. But really? It's not a facade. And has anyone noticed the word mobster is so close to the word monster? I wonder if there's some cool etymology there.

Dante wakes up the next day. Lulu slept on a chair. He hates that he fell asleep before the sex but says he's well rested now. Is is a bit crass to talk about morning wood in a recap?

Lucky is pissed that Crazy called him all the way over there to tell him not to come to the test. Seriously, that was a phone conversation at best. She explains that it's a simple test and she doesn't need anyone hovering. Lucky just wants to support her but she says she should support herself. He agrees but hopes she's not punishing herself.

Sonny tries to justify his shooting of Dante even though he says he's not trying to justify it. Robin doesn't get it, so Sonny tries to explain how Dante worked his way in and worked for his organization and that there are rules....which he's made up. He says despite all that, he still had trouble pulling the trigger. It seemed pretty easy from where I sat. Robin says that this is the part of Sonny's life he pretends doesn't exist: The whole "rules" thing where Sonny is God. He tells her he's willing to be apart from her if it will cool things with Patrick. She seems a bit offended by that.

Ethan fights with a plant at the Haunted Star. Johnny comes by to ask him out again. Ethan plays coy again but Johnny sweetens the deal. He wants to burn Bernie's office. Ethan doesn't get how brazen Johnny is being but is still willing to listen. All Ethan has to do is sweet talk some chick who is running Bernie's office and take her out for coffee. Won't that make Johnny jealous? Ethan wants to know how much he'll be getting and Johnny tells him it could be up to $50,000 a piece.

I guess they didn't have morning sex, because Lulu is fully clothed and coming back from getting coffee. Unless that's just something she does post-coital. The way Dante takes the coffee, you can tell there is no liquid inside. Dante wants to make up for the previous night but Lulu understands that he was exhausted. They make out, anyway. Something will interrupt them. And...there's a knock at the door. It's Olivia.

Dante yells at his mom to go away but she threatens to get the keys from Mike. He finally opens the door and she has...a pot roast? Probably Lasagna. She's happy Lulu is with Dante but thinks it might be too soon for sex. Dante stops her before she can reach the S word because...awkward! Lulu says it anyway because she has no boundaries.

Keifer and Kristina are meeting at Kelly's. He's happy they're back together and keeps saying gross stalkerish things. He wants to take her clubbing after his basketball practice. She doesn't think that's a good idea but he insists because he's gross and disgusting. He tells her to, "wear something hot for a change." Hee. And eww. But mostly hee!

Nikolas comes to Crazy's room. She wanted to see him and Lucky separately. They had appointments? He tells Nikolas the same thing she told Lucky. He agrees and says he'll talk to her afterwards. She says she'll talk to both of them when she knows what she wants to do.

Lucky is at the Haunted Star telling Luke about the paternity test. Luke wants to know, "what if the kid is yours?"

Lulu leaves because she agrees with Olivia that he needs rest. Dante thanks her for the casserole(!) and takes Lulu outside. They talk about pain and blue balls and recovery. Dante goes back inside. Olivia just wanted to bring him a home cooked meal and stop him from having sex. Dante takes a while to get to the point but finally tells her that he doesn't trust her. Olivia is hurt.

Kristina gets all feminist empowered as she tells Keifer that the only person she has to impress with the way she dresses is her. Not if you want to get into a decent club, sugar. He takes this to mean she hasn't forgiven him but she says that he doesn't get to dictate what she wears. Keifer sees Sonny walking in and thinks he should go. Kristina tells him not to but when Sonny approaches the table, he looks at Keifer and says, "Leave." Hee. It's really the only time I like Sonny. Kristina tells her dad that he's the one who isn't invited and tells him to go.

Lucky says the baby isn't going to be his. Luke tells Lucky to at least prepare for the worst. He's worried that if the baby is his, Lucky will get back together with Elizabeth. Lucky is the one who says it, but Luke confirms it. Lucky makes it clear that that won't happen. It's actually a really honest speech about how he and Elizabeth are poison for each other and that he explained all of it to her.

Robin comes by Crazy's room and offers her a ride to the hospital which Crazy accepts. Crazy is worried that she's not as strong a person as she used to be. Ya think? Robin thinks that taking the paternity test is a good first step.

Cut to Helena paying off a lab tech which I don't really get. I mean if her goal is just to get anyone to be a Cassadine heir, wouldn't Spencer do? I know she said Courtney was a trashy stripper but if this kid isn't even related to a Cassadine, why would she want to treat him as such? It seems that blood matters to her from past conversations that she's had. Ah well. If it gets Helena on my screen, I'll endure plot holes.

Sonny doesn't like Kristina's attitude and gets all dad about it telling her that she needs to respect him as her dad. Kristina, for some reason, apologizes and asks him to sit down.

Olivia meets Johnny outside Kelly's. She tells him about her visit with Dante. She wants to hang but he has stuff to do that he can't tell her. She won't stop him but kisses him to show him what he "stands to lose" if things don't go the way he wants. Didn't this scene happen yesterday with Carly and Jax? I don't know if it insults women more that they have to use sex to get their way or men more because they can't resist it. Either way, it's kind of disgusting.

Sonny and Kristina discuss the trial and Alexis being involved. He says that Alexis wants him to continue to be in Kristina's life and Kristina snits that he's sixteen years too late. Sonny can't take it anymore so he leaves but not before telling Kristina that he'll always be in her life. She tells Keifer that sometimes she hates her dad.

Dante looks for Lulu at the Haunted Star. Luke hasn't seen her. Lucky invites Dante to stay to discuss the PCPD. Luke excuses himself saying, "If you gentleman will excuse me, I'm gonna pass on the bonding of the boys in blue. I've got a box of cigars in my office waiting to get smoked." That's what she said! Lucky says to excuse Luke and that he probably approves of Dante on some level. Dante wants to know how Lucky feels about working with Sonny Corinthos' son.

Robin asks Elizabeth what she really wants. Elizabeth's ideal is a family under one roof. She tells Robin that Nikolas wants to marry her but says she can't do it. She knows what she needs is to be alone but doesn't know if she can do that either.

Lisa hands over Nikolas' DNA sample to Epiphany who turns it over to the blackmailed lab technician while Helena watches.

Kiefer says he has to go to basketball practice and asks Kristina if she's going clubbing with him later. She snarks, "if I can find something appropriate to wear." Ethan walks in at that moment with the girl who is presumably Bernie's assistant. She looks like she just stepped out of a playboy... except with clothes. Keifer is happy about this turn of events and leaves. Kristina jealously watches Ethan charm the playboy bunny.

Sonny has called Patrick over to thank him for saving Dante's life. Patrick finally confesses that he's known about Dante for a year now, also pinning Kate under the truck. Don't know if Kate will ever be able to defend herself, though, since we haven't seen her in ages. Sonny tells Patrick that Dante wouldn't have been shot if he'd told. And it's really gotten quite comical how Sonny blames every single person in the world for his actions. Patrick has the best response: "Dante wouldn't have been shot if you hadn't pulled the trigger." Freaking. Awesome. But there are rules, Patrick, RULES!

Sonny and Patrick continue to discuss the rules of life and morality and mistakes and mob life. Sonny says Patrick will never understand his life. I think he almost accepts reality when he says, "I screwed up!" but then he quickly lets me down as always by saying "because of people like you." Always blaming others. And then he seemingly threatens Patrick.

Ethan flirts more while Kristina sexes herself up and approaches the table. Ethan introduces Kristina to "Jennifer" but Kristina wants to talk about their next poker lesson. Ethan excuses himself to talk to Kristina in private. He kinda purposefully acts like a dick and reiterates to Kristina that she's too young for him and that they won't be seeing each other again. Kristina blames Sam and Ethan goes back to his date.

Johnny cuts the electricity to Bernie's place wearing a Bill Clinton mask. Heh.

Lucky reassures Dante by telling him that he too has a dad who works for the other side of the law. Dante asks Lucky what he does if he's on a case and evidence leads to Luke. Lucky tells him that he cites conflict of interest and takes himself off the case. Dante says he won't do that. He wants Sonny and his organization gone. Lucky gets a call from the PCPD about a possible break-in and goes off to investigate.

Alexis comes to Wyndemere with a notary for Nikolas. She asks the notary for a moment alone with Nikolas first. She tells him that it's premature to set up a trust for a baby that may not be his. He has a good feeling the baby is his.

Kelly, Lisa and Epiphany discuss the paternity test. Robin arrives with Elizabeth. Kelly takes her down. Lisa's lack of knowledge makes her think that if Nikolas is the father everything will turn out OK. Helena watches on with ominous music. I wonder if she just carries around a tape-recorder with that music on it.

Music montage! Nikolas broods. Elizabeth gets ready in the exam room. Lucky holds a gun at Johnny. Johnny runs. Nikolas is handed the trust. Liz sits up on the exam table. Lucky runs after Johnny. Nikolas is handed a pen. Kelly comes into the exam room. Johnny runs into an open window. Lucky follows. Nik signs the trust. Liz lies back. Lucky has trouble running up some stairs. The notary notarizes. Kelly gets the shot ready. Lucky continues to chase Johnny. Someone puts a fingerprint on something. Elizabeth waits. Nikolas broods more. Johnny makes it to the roof. Lucky makes it to the roof. A shot is fired. It seems to come from Johnny's gun. Elizabeth winces. And scene!

-end